


A Blip Amidst Infinite Moments

by naboojakku



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bella Swan - Freeform, Bella is 17, Bella's still a ditz lol, Complete, F/F, Human Bella, Human/Vampire Relationship, I wanna be honest and not mislead anybody, Jane is 16, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, No HEA, Revenge, Soulmates, Teleportation, Vampires, Volterra, Volturi, both in their teens, maybe next time, no happy ending, some descriptions of gratuitous violence in later chapters, there's no smut here folx, this story's kinda weird but just roll with it, vampire Jane, vengeance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24207355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naboojakku/pseuds/naboojakku
Summary: Seventeen-year-old Isabella Amelia Marie Swan is as normal as they come, and her daily life almost bores her to death - literally.Jane, on the other hand, is dangerous and legendary within the world of vampirekind, but she's always sought something more.When the two girls meet, they're set on a collision course that's both sensational and heartbreaking.  Told from Bella's first-person perspective, this is the (short) story of a friendship that bloomed fast, and a relationship that burned faster.
Relationships: Jane/Bella Swan
Comments: 25
Kudos: 89





	1. From The Sky

**Author's Note:**

> **Welcome to a truly wild ride. This is a piece of Twilight fanfiction that I wrote three years ago for absolutely no reason at all. I never planned to write Twilight fanfiction, let alone about any pairing but Edward/Bella, yet here we are. A certain scene towards the end struck me, and I couldn't get rid of it. So it's true what they say: sometimes you have a single idea, and then you spend dozens of hours crafting an entire storyline around that idea.**
> 
> **Also, I have this entire fic already written! Therefore, I will be updating three chapters a week - Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays - until the story's completely up. Leave a comment or smash that kudos button if you're so inclined! Thanks for reading :)**
> 
> **[[Please do take careful note of the tags & archive warnings.]]**
> 
> **Buckle up, everyone! It's gonna be a weird journey.**

If there is one thing I know, it is this: The sky _can_ hurt you.

Let me set the scene. I was walking home after taking a long, stress-free walk. Well, it was _supposed_ to be free of stress, but unfortunately, since my brain works five times faster than a normal person's, I was actually filled with such a sense of _overwhelming_ that my temples were pounding, and my jaw hurt from grinding my teeth viciously together. (The reasons for this _overwhelming_ I will get to soon.)

There was scarcely any wind, and all the flowers were dead since it was nearing summer and the heat was almost at a point where it could melt your skin off. Nobody was around, which was one reason I liked walking that particular route. You wouldn't find many people in the mossy back-roads of an unheard-of town like Whittleston, Arizona on a normal day, and that day just happened to be slightly less normal than others.

This was where my state of being _overwhelmed_ came in. That was the day my parents announced their divorce, and though you may think me heartbroken and sad and shocked to my very core (I expect you'd think this, anyway), none of this would be true. In fact, I'd anticipated it for quite a while, considering my parents hadn't lived together for several years. So that sense of _overwhelmed_ was maybe a bit...dramatic, I guess, don't you think? 

Once you find your mother dry-humping the college-aged boy from down the road, it's kind of hard to expect a marriage to continue happily.

I wasn't especially bent out-of-shape about it, to be frank. My parents were rarely around anyway. Sometimes I even forgot what my mom looked like (stupid, really, when she looks just like me), and my dad was more of a mythical being than a parental figure. Maybe that's why I was so disgruntled. Because I didn't have parents around to remind me what I looked like.

But I digress.

Okay, setting the scene again. I was walking down Buckets-Hill Road, which was just a bit swampy from the rain we'd gotten over the past two weeks, and I was side-stepping puddles like my life depended on it, my brain flicking from The Divorce to my senior year at Richardson High School to the suspiciously fishy tacos the new Mexican restaurant down the street had started serving, when all of a sudden I noticed a change in the air.

It sounds dumb, but the air _did_ change, I swear. Not just the temperature either. It was like….well, it's hard to explain, but like someone had just slid a slimy finger down the back of my neck.

All the hair on my body stood on end, and I stopped mid-jump, which of course landed me in a puddle the size of Lake Tahoe. I started shivering like I'd been dunked in a tub of ice-water, and when my eyes moved up, I noticed that the sky had changed too. Everything up there was gray, but somehow, there were no clouds in sight. The gray sky cast an even grayer shadow, which covered the entire landscape.

For a moment I wondered if I'd somehow been tossed into an old black-and-white movie or something. Which of course I knew wasn't possible, but my imagination liked to conjure vivid fantasies which maybe, perhaps, sometimes confused me. (It was a problem, I know.)

I stood there in that Lake Tahoe-sized puddle, my jeans soaked around my ankles, the skin of my arms cold and exposed, looking up at the ominous sky like I'd never seen it before. Like I said, everything was so gosh-darn gray, it was hard to discern where was up and where was down.

Confused, I stared intently into space, hoping some explanation would present itself. That's usually how I dealt with things. If it weren't for my intense concentration, I would've missed it, you see, because right at that moment a wormhole of light opened up in the leaden sky, and a jagged bolt struck at the earth too quickly for me to follow.

There was a hollow ringing in my eyes, and suddenly I noticed my head and the ground were in close proximity, and my muscles had seized, and my face was so numb I couldn't tell if I was crying or screaming or if my mouth was even open at all.

I blinked and found myself in a field of corn. _Looks like Mike's dad's sweet corn,_ I thought stupidly. _He's spaced them too close together again, for Chrissake!_

I blinked, and the broken-up cement of Oven Road was digging into my back. _What's happening? How am I getting here and there so fast?_ I remember thinking, and then I started to really worry because I could feel another blink coming on, but fortunately that's where my worries stopped for good because next thing I knew, I was in the hospital and a chubby-cheeked doctor was hovering over me looking exceptionally put-out.

"What'd I do this time?" I croaked, and then recoiled in surprise when the doctor screamed and fled the room.


	2. A Series of Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the Jane/Bella pairing doesn't have a very large following, but it's encouraging to know there are at least some people out there who enjoy this oddball ship! Please enjoy this latest installment <3

The chubby-cheeked doctor did not return. He was, apparently, afraid of me. Not sure why, and no one seemed especially inclined to tell me, which was okay since I had a lot of other stuff on my mind at the moment, as it so happened. Maybe he'd up and run because I'd been in a coma and suddenly – in their words, "for no discernible medical reason" – woken up?

Hard to say.

There were tubes snaking out of my arms, bandages on my head, and loud, beeping machines circling me like steel vultures. They were oddly intimidating for inanimate objects.

I'd been unconscious for a solid six hours. The doctors (my new, impressively unafraid ones, of course) said it was a combination of dehydration and exhaustion. Which was strange because I'd taken a two-hour nap earlier that day, before my walk down Buckets-Hill Road. What _ever_. I was so over this whole thing the second I discovered my mom and the doctors didn't believe that I'd somehow been transported several miles across town in the space of a few eye blinks. It was difficult to believe, but was it really _that_ difficult?

"You bumped your head pretty hard, hon," Renee said slowly, giving me a really concerned side-eye. I wasn't sure why she felt she couldn't look at me directly. Also, she was chewing gum, and she was being very obnoxious about it. _Pop-pop-POP_. The half-formed gum bubbles snapped like tiny fireworks.

"Yeah, I know I did," I snapped, pointing to the bandages wrapped thrice around my head. "Can't you see the blood? Anyway, that's irrelevant. Didn't you hear me?"

"Yes," Dr. Cullen replied crisply. He seemed like a total no-nonsense guy. Fitting, for a doctor. "But you are confused. None of that happened. You did not blink and find yourself in Mike Newton's field. You did not blink and find yourself lying in the middle of Oven Road. You fell and hit your head, and the impact must have jarred your mind. You were semi-conscious at that point, and probably hallucinating."

"Oh, you know this?" I asked snidely. "You were there?" He was ticking me off. That wasn't what I was saying _at all_. Sure, I'd been a little confused (I was still confused, but I thought it inadvisable to mention now), but I know what I saw. My mind hadn't been 'jarred' and I hadn't 'hallucinated.' It was obvious they were trying to pass me off as crazy. Can you say gaslighting? No way, Jose, that wasn't going to happen.

Dr. Cullen sighed. "Please, Ms. Swan, I'm just trying to help."

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled. My mother threw me a scalding-hot glare. She was a stickler for politeness, even faked politeness.

The doctor and my mother talked for a few more minutes while I determinedly tuned them out. Apparently it was decided that I'd be released later that day. Whatever. No one was going to listen to me one way or the other, so why bother opening my mouth? Besides, I was used to it. Being ignored.

"Did you tell Dad?" I asked when my mother returned to my bedside.

"Left a message on his voicemail." _Pop-pop!_

I nodded, my left eye twitching faintly. "He still in Deutschland?" My dad traveled a lot. For business. And by a lot I meant three-hundred-twenty days out of the year, in case you were wondering. Sometimes I referred to him as Charlie. My mother hadn't bothered to yell at me for this. I think this was our way of bonding.

She nodded in answer to my question and gazed out the window, her thoughts obviously elsewhere.

After a moment of truly uncomfortable silence, I cleared my throat. "So. When am I getting out?"

"'Round seven or so." My mother shrugged. Renee Dwyer was a woman of few words and fewer details, that was for sure.

"Okay, so, can you get me some food or something? I'm dehydrated, after all."

"That means you need water, Amelia, not food. Anybody knows that."

Yeah, she called me by my middle name. Don't ask me why. 

I scowled. "Can you just find something for me to ingest?"

She waved her hand impatiently and sauntered out of the room. Her jean shorts were frayed and just a little too short for a woman fast approaching forty. She and my dad were seven years apart, and it became instantly obvious that they weren't from the same background at all. He was polished and clean-shaven; she was a tick above trailer trash. Why they ever got married in the first place is the eighth wonder of the world. Now, why they were getting a _divorce_ – that made total sense. No idea why it'd taken so long, though.

Now that I was finally alone, my mind wandered back to the events that led me here. I'd been walking, right? That was pretty normal. A storm was looming – I remember noticing that. For some reason, that's the one thing that's really vivid. Everything else paled in comparison to the memory of that monster of a thunderstorm.

Then I'd…fallen? Tripped over a wayward branch or something? I don't know. I was in a field of sweet corn for a moment, I think. "You did not blink and find yourself in Mike Newton's field." Except that I did. "You did not blink and find yourself lying in the middle of Oven Road." Except that I had.

Was I going crazy? I sure hoped not. Like, I really could not deal with that right now.

Four hours later and my release papers were signed, stamped, and shoved into my mom's knockoff Coach purse. I was unceremoniously wheeled to the hospital front doors, where I was forced to my feet. (I say _forced_ because I didn't want to get up. Don't get me wrong, nothing hurt. I was just feeling lazy). My mom's beat-up lime-green hatchback was parked crookedly in the third row. On the way back to our one-story ranch home (well-kept and magazine-ready but too small, according to Charlie), we stopped at McDonalds.

"Three double cheeseburgers, two Diet Cokes, and two small fries," Renee barked at the intercom, ordering off the dollar menu. While I munched on my burgers, I found myself wondering, not for the first or twentieth time, what the hell had happened to me on Buckets-Hill Road.

There'd been light – bright, impossibly blinding light – and I'm pretty sure it hit me. But that couldn't be right because the hospital hadn't said a single thing about me getting struck by lightning. I was almost positive (I say _almost_ because you never could know for sure with those government-type people) that they would've told me and my mom if something _that_ extreme happened. They were kinda obligated to, I think. Weren't they? I mean, you would think. Right?

Anyway.

When we got home my mom took her bag of fries to the living room in the back of the house, where her DVR waited with all two-hundred-thirty-six episodes of _Friends_. She was re-watching them. (For the sixth time. Why she didn't just invest in a new show was beyond my understanding.)

I trudged down the hall to my room, dragging my feet. Now that I was home again and all the excitement was over, boredom was bound to take over, as it normally did. That's why I went on a walk in the first place. And why I'd taken a nap before I'd taken a walk. There was nothing to do here. Ever. 

Whittleston worked in a gray, monotonous cycle that felt a little like deja vu. In fact, I frequently asked myself: Are you experiencing the same thing every day? Or are you experiencing _subtle variations_ of the same thing every day? _Don't try to figure it out,_ I usually answered myself. _You'll never be able to tell. It'll only drive you closer to insanity._

That was the horror of monotony.

My room had white walls, black carpet, and a gray ceiling. Uniform colors for a uniform life, you could say. (I wouldn't disagree.) There were some secondhand books in a half-filled bookcase that seemed on the verge of collapsing in one corner, a pile of dirty flip-flops blocking the entrance to my closet, and heaps of coloring books in the other corner. Yes, coloring books, the kind you could only use with sharp and pointy colored-pencils, the kind you really, really had to concentrate on or you'd make an irreversible mistake and spend hours mulling over what could've been.

I called this activity art therapy. My parents called it _pointless_ and _childish_.

Was it? No, it wasn't. They just didn't understand. Anything they didn't understand was immediately shoved into categories labeled USELESS and NOT WORTH THINKING ABOUT. Actually, that was the motto for most adults around here.

I frowned and sat down on my bed. The springs creaked, and I shifted my weight a little. The mattress was older than me, and the frame? Older than the Stone Age, probably. Leaning back, I stared up at my blank ceiling, squinting. I didn't like to think too much when I didn't have to, but I was starting to believe that I would have to.

I knew the facts, even if no one else wanted to believe them: I'd been struck by lightning, or some sort of weird light source that came from the sky. I was perfectly fine – body, mind, emotions (I guess?) – but I must've blacked out because I didn't remember the drive over to the hospital or getting hooked up to all that equipment. But I _did_ remember where I'd been.

First on my stomach on Buckets-Hill Road.

Then on my side in the Newton's sweet corn field.

And finally in the middle of Oven Road, broken cement digging into my back.

I knew this. Did I know it for sure though? For _absolutely_ sure? No, and there was only one way to find out for certain.

Breathing deep, I closed my eyes and stilled my whole being. My body, my brain, my thoughts, everything. This was no easy feat, considering the crazy-fast rate at which my thoughts usually spun. But I was determined. I concentrated on my heartbeat, concentrated so hard I felt it pounding in my temples. I willed myself into a place of nothingness, of nonexistence.

_Other_ , I thought, not knowing what I meant but thinking it anyway. _Other. Let's go elsewhere. Anywhere. Somewhere other than here. The Land of Other. The Land of Take-Me-Away-From-This-Hellhole._

I breathed in the stale air of my bedroom…and breathed out something entirely different. A scent I couldn't identify. Clouds? No. Leaves? Sort of, but not quite. The air just smelled… _wet_.

The instant I opened my eyes, I realized that I had made several mistakes, one of them quite grievous.

The first mistake: attempting to tell the doctors and other medical personnel (plus my mother) about the blinking-and-finding-myself-in-other-places phenomenon.

The second: not spending more time thinking very, _very_ carefully about why I remembered being struck by lightning and yet having no signs or evidence to prove this theory.

The third: wolfing down two McDonalds double cheeseburgers and a small fry _and_ a Diet Coke in under ten minutes.

The fourth, and probably most grievous, mistake: opening my eyes. This was seemingly insignificant, but not when you considered that A) I was suddenly, somehow, in a wet forest, B) I had no idea where I was other than suddenly, somehow, in a wet forest, and C) I was staring at a tiny blonde-haired angel with red eyes and a floor-sweeping black cloak. An archangel? A demon-spawn?

No time to decide. She was staring right at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, all will be revealed soon!


	3. The Difference Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Happy reading! Thanks to everyone who's left kudos :)**

The creature standing before me was otherworldly, that was one thing I knew for certain.

She was pixie-like, though from this distance I could tell we were probably of the same height. Her features – blonde hair, high cheekbones, big eyes – were all meant to portray innocence. But there was definitely an evil aura about her, a dark undertone that lurked beneath her soft exterior. Her eyes were a soft red, not nearly so scarlet as I'd first imagined. The clothes she wore were foreign. I couldn't imagine seeing someone around Whittleston wearing a black cloak (with strange symbols embroidered along the hemline, no less). They'd be beaten into next week for looking like such a fool.

My senses were still overloaded with that wet forest smell, so I must've been making a disgusted sort of face, because the girl frowned and titled her head back – regally, if that was possible in these circumstances.

"Who are you?" she demanded. For some reason I got the impression that she was taken aback. I'd surprised her by appearing here. Hell, I'd surprised myself.

"I – uh, well, who are you? And where am I?" After all, a second ago I'd been lying in bed, regretting my dietary decisions and mourning the monotony of my uneventful life. You know, the usual.

The girl's brow furrowed elegantly. "How do you _not know_ where you are?" Her confusion only seemed to piss her off. Quietly, so I almost couldn't hear, she added, "Not one of us, though. She _smells_ human, at least."

"I smell?" That was a bit insulting. I briefly wondered what I smelled like. Was it _good_?

"Yes. Like rain, and burnt hair, and maybe…grease?" Her nose wrinkled.

Those damn double cheeseburgers again.

"Anyway…" I didn't want to talk about my smell. Besides, this girl was making me uncomfortable. "Are you going to answer my question?"

"You're in a forest. The Forest of Dupree."

This meant absolutely nothing to me. "And where is that?"

The girl scoffed. "Don't play games. You must have walked here."

"I actually didn't walk here. Listen, it's a long story. Can you please just tell me where I am?" Because I had a bad feeling about this. Really bad. Like, _I-am-in-a-dire-situation-that-I-have-no-idea-how-to-get-out-of_ bad.

"Kentucky. You're in Kentucky," the girl said flatly.

Of course. That made sense. (No, it didn't. Nothing made sense. I was trying not to panic, you see.)

"Right. Well…" I was finding it just a little hard to breathe. "Well, I should be going, I guess." But I couldn't walk out of here for the same reason I couldn't walk in here – that's not how I'd arrived. I'd gotten here by…wishing it? Thinking it? Had I somehow transported myself here just by concentrating hard enough?

"You look pale."

"Thanks for that observation," I said faintly. "As I said, I should be going." Yet I remained standing right where I was. The girl seemed amused, which irritated me. "What are _you_ doing out here anyway? Seems a little unusual for a girl like you to be out here alone."

"A girl like me?" If I hadn't been feeling so out-of-sorts, I could've sworn she growled this. "What do you mean by that?" But I _was_ out-of-sorts, so I was probably just imagining it.

"You look real young. And fragile," I blurted stupidly. _What the fuck, Isabella?_ "But you probably get that a lot, right?" I added, trying for some damage control.

"Young? Please. I am the oldest person you will likely ever meet." Her eyes flashed. "As for fragile, I do not think you'd want me to elaborate on that if you knew who you were talking to."

Was it me, or did this girl have a massive ego? Everything about her screamed wealthy and uptight, which made these circumstances even stranger. Like, why was she in a _forest_? Shouldn't she be sipping Merlot on a million-dollar yacht somewhere or something?

"What are you?" I asked instead.

The girl smiled with all her (admittedly sharp) teeth. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Well, yeah," I said, perplexed, "that's why I'm asking."

She merely turned away and ignored me. Apparently the forest was more worthy of attention than I was. Whatever.

"Can I guess?" I asked, intrigued despite myself. "Because I know you're something else. You've gotta be."

She didn't respond except to turn her head and raise a well-trimmed eyebrow.

"You an angel? Wait – an _arch_ angel?" Angels didn't have red eyes, even I knew that.

She scoffed then, looking disdainful but also curious. "No."

"A demon."

"Wrong again, I'm afraid."

"Are you sure?" I pressed.

Her face remained frozen in a state of non-expression, yet even so, I could tell she was annoyed and trying not to lash out. "Quite. And I don't like being second-guessed."

I hummed, thoughtful. "Well, I don't have any more guesses."

The girl seemed to come to a decision. "What if I told you I am a vampire?"

I snorted. "A vampire? _Really?_ "

She tilted her chin up, sniffing indignantly. "Why is that amusing?"

"It's not. Just – Well, how's that any better than being a demon or archangel or something? There's really no difference, if you think about it."

"There is," she insisted, staring hard at me.

I shrugged, unwilling to argue after such an annoyingly difficult day. "I mean, the difference doesn't matter. You're still…very unusual," I said, which was not what I'd intended to say at all. But I'd remembered last minute that being polite usually got you further than being outright rude.

The vampire-demon-angel's eyes narrowed and her gaze seemed to pierce straight through me with alarming heat. "It does so," she countered imperiously.

"What?" Uh oh. I'd lost the thread of the conversation. My mom was always yelling at me for that.

"The difference _matters_ ," she said stiffly, chin still raised high.

"Okay." If I just agreed, maybe she'd let me leave. "Nice meeting you…"

Her eyes narrowed. "If you're looking for a name, you will not get one."

"So sue me for trying to be polite," I mumbled grumpily, turning away.

I started walking – wandering, more like – in a northerly direction. Or maybe it was southerly? Could be east or west, for all I knew. The only plan I had was to get out of sight of this strange girl and then find somewhere to…think hard. Sounded incredibly dumb, I know, but that was how I'd gotten here, after all. Seemed obvious that that was the way I'd get back home.

I blinked, ducking beneath a large branch dripping with pine needles, and when I righted myself I had to stop or else run into the girl. She was somehow standing in front of me, eyes regarding me imperiously. (Could eyes do that? Hers could.)

"What the –" I exclaimed, jerking to a halt. I slipped a little on the wet layer of leaves covering the forest floor.

"I didn't give you permission to leave."

My jaw dropped, but only momentarily. After the day's events, it was kinda hard to surprise me at this point. "Um, well, I don't really need it. Permission, I mean. _Your_ permission." She was making me flustered. I was embarrassing myself, I could feel it.

Her jaw tightened. She was standing much closer now, close enough that I could see for certain that we were of identical heights. That was comforting. I mean, she still cast a pretty intimidating presence.

"Uh, well," she said, obviously mocking me (and my accent), "I was not done questioning you."

"You're –"

She drew in a sharp breath. "Before, when I said you smelled like burnt hair? The scent is much stronger up close." Apparently she was talking to herself, because she looked straight at me then and asked, "Why do you smell like that?" As if I knew.

Wait a second…

"I-think-I-was-struck-by-lightning," I said quickly, afraid that if I didn't speak those words now they'd be forever stuck in my head. Then I blushed, feeling dumb. How did I not _know_ I was struck by lightning? Wouldn't that be something I should be a hundred percent sure of first before I went around blathering about it?

But the girl merely nodded. "Mm, yes. That makes sense."

"It does?" I asked, startled.

"Your scent is human, but…not entirely. It is unusual." She still seemed to be talking to herself – either that or to an invisible audience, I couldn't say for sure.

"As far as I know, I'm one-hundred percent human, so…" I didn't want to reveal too much. If she could sense that I'd been struck by lightning (or something like that, anyway), could she also tell that I could transport myself around just by thinking about it?

"Yes," she said, her focus suddenly zeroed in on me. "Yes, you are." Her eyes seemed to glow a brilliant red for a minute before the light subsided to a muted burgundy.

"Why are your eyes like that? They can't be contacts…" Right? Maybe they were and I was just psyching myself out.

Her lips curved upward for a millisecond. "This is my normal eye color."

"You're sure?" That seemed unlikely.

In answer, she growled, deep in her throat. Her lips peeled back to reveal pointed white teeth. A shiver unexpectedly rippled down my spine. The sight was feral, predatory.

Dangerous.

A small alarm bell rang faintly in the back of my mind. WARNING, it seemed to say. UNSAFE TERRITORY. TREAD CAREFULLY.

 _Okay, yes,_ I thought nervously, _great plan._

"You're sure," I said aloud, nodding vigorously. "You're really sure. Of course you are, you know your eye color better than me, after all." I laughed shrilly.

The girl's head tilted slightly. "Am I scaring you?" Her face instantly reverted back to that non-expression she'd been wearing the whole time we'd been talking.

"Scaring? Well…" _Why, yes,_ I wanted to say. _Yes, you_ are _scaring the actual bejeezus out of me, thank you very much._

"Maybe," I said instead. (A stupid answer. A really, really stupid answer. Like, probably the worst possible answer. _Maybe?_ Why the hell did I say that, of all the answers in the world?!)

Fearing her response, I cringed and very slowly stepped back a pace or two. (Or five.)

However, the act of terrorizing me must have lost its amusement; the girl seemed uninterested again and also vaguely annoyed. Very, very vaguely, I hoped. I didn't want to encounter those teeth again anytime soon.

"You should leave," she said mildly, as if that wasn't what I'd been trying to do this whole time. "It's more than a few miles to civilization."

"Uh, okay. I'll just –" Jerking my thumb over my shoulder, I took another careful step back.

"Don't get ripped apart," she added, and in such a way that it seemed she wouldn't give a damn one way or the other.

"Thanks…I guess," I muttered, eyeing her suspiciously. She stared at me blankly, apparently no longer in a talkative mood. Fine with me.

 _Adios,_ freaky girl.

Retreating from said freaky girl took me a good ten minutes. By that point I felt secure enough to turn my back to her and continue in a forward-walking manner. It took another five minutes for me to locate a clearing large and empty enough to plop down in a cross-legged position. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes.

Immediately I thought of home: my boring walls and cracked bookcase, my pile of coloring books and broken colored-pencil tips, my plain but well-maintained backyard with the single rocking chair perched on the far left corner of the driveway. My body relaxed, my thoughts slowed, and I became numb to my surroundings. Just for a second, but it was enough.

The instant I felt my body departing from the so-called Forest of Dupree, I could sense eyes on my back.

 _She's seeing!_ I thought with alarm. _She knows!_

But then I opened my eyes and saw not a freaky, crimson-eyed pixie girl but a ragged stuffed animal from my childhood named Pinkie staring back at me from my bed.

 _Am I dreaming?_ I thought hazily.

Nothing about this felt like a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **See you next week!**


	4. How The Hell Am I Doing This?

For the next week I practiced. Unfortunately I was not excited or curious or amazed or terrified by what I was doing. I wasn't feeling much of anything, to be honest. My only coherent thought went something along the lines of, "How the hell am I doing this?"

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 **Session Number One.  
Location: Chidden Park in Whittleston, Arizona.  
Late afternoon.**

Most of the little kids were gone. It was nearing dinnertime, an event that rarely, if ever, happened in my house. I was sitting on a plastic slide, the biggest one, with a giant crack straight down the middle so that the whole time you're sliding the only thought you have is – "The crack is sliding through my ass. The crack is sliding through _my_ crack."

I guess it's funnier when you're young and stupid.

Anyway.

Not knowing what to expect, I sat atop the Big Slide in a tank top and shorts, my bare legs dangling before me. The sun was low in the sky, approaching sunset. The temperature was no longer boiling my blood, but it was still scorching my skin. I closed my eyes, my forehead wrinkling with effort.

 _Park bench,_ I thought. _Go to the park bench._ Visions of rain-warped wood and bird shit flew through my mind. Next thing I knew, I was sitting on a bench very similar to the one I was imagining. It was not, however, the _same_ bench.

It took some badgering, but eventually I pestered the food vendor on the corner into informing me I was in George Gill Park, Seattle. You know.

Washington.

So yeah. That was the unsatisfactory result of my first session in a little something I liked to call The Very Advanced Art of Teleportation.

Don't worry, I got better. Gradually. Eventually. After like, more than thirty-three attempts. But who was counting, right?

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 **Session Number Nine.  
Location: the McDonald's on the corner of Everton and Stanton, an approximate seven minute walk from my house.**

Some light traffic, but nothing too concerning. My destination was my kitchen at home. I'd recently become aware (around Session Six or so) that envisioning a place extremely familiar to me was much easier than envisioning an unfamiliar spot ten yards away. So I shut my eyes, concentrated mightily, and reopened them four seconds later.

Pink. So much pink. I swiveled around in a chair and saw pink tables, napkins, cups, a pink ceiling, and a pink countertop with an off-white cash register on top. I'd brought myself to The Pastry Palace, a little sidewalk café on Whittleston's main street. I wasn't in my kitchen, that was for sure, but I was in the vicinity of food, so I counted it as a win.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

 **Session Number Seventeen.  
Location: the high school parking lot.**

It was empty. The mid-August heat would do that. I was kneeling on the gravel, my skin burning where it made contact with the hot asphalt. At this point I could put myself into a state of intense calm almost without thinking about it. I would tell myself, _I want to go somewhere,_ and BAM – my heart was running at a slow, even pace, my thoughts became a droning hum, and my body relaxed so completely I was like complete dead-weight. Sort of like a corpse, really.

I conjured up images of my backyard – dirt, trees, broken hammock swing – and when I opened my eyes I was about a hundred feet from where my property line ended. I could see my mother sitting at the kitchen table, a lit cigarette in hand. _She told me she stopped smoking six months ago,_ I thought briefly. Then I was consumed with an elation so great it took my breath away. I was here! I was _home_ , exactly where I wanted to go!

That was the first time I actually arrived where I intended. I must've broken some sort of mental barrier that day because the remaining sixteen sessions found me right where I wanted to be.

I'd think of my living room and BAM – I'd appear there a moment after sitting down in the gas station convenience store three blocks over.

I'd think of my bed and BAM – three seconds later I would no longer be anywhere near the weird cowboy statue that was erected in the center of town.

Again and again this happened, until I could stop mid-stride, bring up an image of somewhere I knew well, and appear there seconds later. It was magic. It was a little terrifying. But mostly it was a neat little break amidst the daily boredom of my life.

Until then, my life had been overwhelmingly uneventful – wake up, go to school, walk around town, swing at the park, eat some half-cooked food, then maybe watch a movie that had been released eight months ago.

My parents were divorcing, but I'd seen that one coming from a mile away. I didn't have any brothers or sisters. I wasn't gifted or a prodigy or exceptionally smart, so my academic life was substandard. My lank brown hair and uninteresting green eyes didn't garner much attention – from boys and just from people in general. I didn't stand out. No, I blended in, and without much effort. Everything about me screamed ordinary.

Except for _this_ – whatever _this_ was. (Teleportation. I knew what it was. But the word was… _heavy_. Too heavy for me.)

Oh, and one other thing. The girl I'd met in the forest? She was the total opposite of boring or ordinary. I didn't know what to think of her. I mean, a vampire? She must've been pulling my leg, but she sure did act like one. The pale skin, the creepy grin with all those razor-sharp teeth…. 

But how did I know what a vampire acted like? I didn't, really. She just seemed to fit the stereotype pretty closely. Not to mention she dressed the part.

Truthfully, knowing what I did now, I couldn't guarantee the existence or nonexistence of anything. There suddenly seemed to be infinite possibilities to explore. That girl was hundreds of miles away, living in the Forest of Dupree somewhere in central Kentucky, but that didn't matter. I could travel there in an instant. Distance no longer posed an issue. Neither did time, really. I could go anywhere, at any time.

Was I in the mood for some authentic gelato? Well, good thing I could zip on over to Italy right this very second. Did I need pictures of abandoned concentration camps for my school project? Well, lucky me could pop in to Auschwitz any time I desired. Did I want to learn how to extreme rock climb? Mount Everest was just a time-jump away!

I still wasn't sure how my getting struck by lightning equaled supernatural teleportation powers, but I was going to roll with it for as long as it lasted.

Because of course I wasn't going to be like this forever.

Surely the electricity zapped into my body would dissipate, hopefully leaving me stuck at home instead of stranded in the open wilderness of North Africa. I had to think this was a reasonable outcome, because otherwise… I couldn't fathom being like this forever.

Having to live with this terrible secret for the next seventy-plus years… I mean, what would that _do_ to a person? Knowing you could go anywhere, see anyone, do anything, just because you will it. Knowing that distance was irrelevant and that time didn't factor into the equation anymore. Knowing that science couldn't explain you.

That was too much power for one person.

These thoughts were making me feel sick. For some reason that freaky pixie girl's face popped into my head again. I wanted to see her. That didn't make sense, but so what? And yeah, she'd been pretty rude to me, obviously uninterested in my situation, and somehow attractively dangerous, but that didn't change the fact that I wanted to see her again.

And, I realized, there was nothing that could stop me.

So, feeling like I was too powerful for my own good and not caring that this was probably true, I shut my eyes, imagined the trees in the Forest of Dupree, and vanished from my bed.

Moments later, I blinked sweat out of my eyes and inhaled the moist scent of flowers and decaying earth.

 _"What is up!"_ I shouted enthusiastically. _"I'm back, baby!"_

Silence. For maybe point-three seconds.

Then…

"What are _you_ doing here?"

I'd know that sweet, irritated voice anywhere.


	5. The Return of Freaky Pixie Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks for those who've left kudos! I hope you all enjoy this next installment <3**

I grinned. "Nice to see you again. Really missed our time together, so, you know, I thought I'd pay you a visit."

Her eyes were burning, and all her movements were sharp, jerky. "Enough with the joking. You must leave. Immediately."

Huh. Not the reception I'd anticipated. Frowning, I asked, "You're not happy to see me?"

Her jaw clenched. "Now is not a good time, human."

"That's an…unusual insult."

She snarled, and I bit back a laugh. She was too damn easy to tease! Also, surprisingly gullible. But I didn't let that fool me. She had the guise of a child, yet she was ancient. I knew it, deep in my bones, the same way I knew not to run when faced with a hungry predator. The smart part of me advised caution. But the wild part of me, the part that was amused by the situation, by the inappropriate stoniness of this angel-demon-girl, was curious.

"Make yourself scarce," the girl ordered. "It would be best if –" But here she stopped. I waited, patiently, for her to go on, but that seemed to be all she was willing to share.

"Do you own this land?" I asked suddenly.

The girl's scarlet eyes darted my way, suspicion flashing in their depths. "How is that relevant?"

I shrugged, trying to keep another smarmy grin off my face. "Well, do you?"

"No. Are you satisfied?" She flicked her fingers – _Go away now_.

"If you don't own this land, you don't have any authority here. I have just as much right to be here as anyone." Then I paused, considering. "I get the feeling you're not much for sharing."

"Now you speak to me of _sharing_?" There was disgust in her voice, but, as always, I had difficulty reading her face. Not just because she was a naturally unreadable person, but because her attention wasn't entirely focused on me. Ever since I'd appeared in the Forest of Dupree, the girl's focus had remained on me only in small flashes. Her eyes were roving over the landscape, as if searching for someone more interesting. I was nearly inclined to say, _Sorry, am I boring you?_ but I sensed that wasn't quite what was going on. It was more like she was on high-alert, like she was preparing for imminent attack.

Rather than make me nervous, this realization only enhanced my curiosity. Whatever sketchy goings-on the angel-demon-girl was involved in was sure to be exciting, and if my life lacked anything, it was excitement.

"Hey, so, is there anything I can do?"

There was a heavy pause, and I didn't have to see her face to know she was rolling her eyes – or whatever the angel-demon equivalent was. "Leave?"

" _Besides_ leave." Was it too much to ask that she work with me here?

"No. No, there's nothing besides that." She was on-edge, and this fascinated me. We were out in the middle of a forest. There was only silence where there was usually some sort of noise, whether it be animals or traffic, but there was no sign of human activity at all, so what was she so worried about?

"Maybe I'll go explore a little, then, if that's okay with you," I prodded, then wondered how far I could take this.

She threw me a sharp look. "Why can't you just go back where you came from?"

I shrugged, but she wasn't done.

"You are in danger here, young one. I don't think you realize how much."

My mouth twisted. "What's there to be afraid of, aside from a rabid raccoon or something? I bet there aren't any people around for miles."

The girl opened her mouth, ready to snap a disdainful reply, no doubt, but then she froze. Her body suddenly jolted into immobility, as if a bolt of lightning sent by Zeus himself had burst from the sky and turned her to stone. No, marble. Her skin was too flawless to be compared to that of stone's uneven grit.

 _Lightning_. That reminded me. "Say, don't you recall –"

Then she was in front of me, and her hand was on my mouth. Her cold, cold hand that really _did_ remind me so much of marble that I blinked and took a moment to examine her. She definitely wasn't a statue. Her eyes were wide, and although they weren't entirely human, with the whole scarlet hue and all, they were still alive, aware, emotive. I didn't even have time to react to her sudden presence. It was like, _Okay, she's over there – No, okay, she's directly in front of me, somehow_. I didn't question the mechanics of it because, to be quite frank, I didn't particularly want to stress myself out. So I just accepted it as a thing that happened and moved on.

"Silence," she hissed, the whisper sibilant. She sounded like a person who gave commands often and expected them to be followed always.

The angel-demon-girl looked supernaturally perfect this close up, and therefore just a wee bit intimidating. I've always found attractive people to be superior, and why not? Deities were treated the same way; minimal powers, but they were beautiful, so why not worship them?

Anyway.

The angel-demon-girl tightened her grip on my face, and before I could wonder why, there was a brief prick of pain on my upper arm.

I wanted to jerk away from her because I couldn't see what she was doing, exactly, and whatever it was she'd done had hurt, and since I'd just about reached my pain threshold for the week, what with the lightning strike knocking me all out-of-sorts, I was feeling mighty unsettled. But her grip was too strong, and so I could only stand there and wait until she decided to let me go. When she did, I noticed a small cut on my arm, right in the crease of my elbow. A bead of blood had collected there, one that I immediately tried to wipe off.

The girl stopped me. _Leave it,_ she mouthed, and then swiped a finger across both her top and bottom lips. She turned away from me then, but not before I saw the blood. _My_ blood. On her mouth.

Things were starting to get a little too weird for me, and that was saying a lot. My tolerance for weirdness was quite high.

The girl's whisper floated back to me, almost nonexistent, like a soft sigh. "Don't move. If you want to live, stay where you are."

Since I definitely wanted to live, as far as I was aware, anyway, I moved not a single muscle. She disappeared from sight, but a moment later she came back into view, about a hundred feet away from where I stood, hidden amongst trees and other plant shrubbery. Couldn't tell you what it was, though. I live in Arizona, I'm not a forest expert, okay?

"Alec," the girl called, her voice just slightly above a normal speaking volume.

"Jane." The voice responded immediately. I was startled because I'd assumed that the girl was talking to herself, and I hadn't thought anyone would be there because a moment ago, the forest had been empty, save for me and her. Not sure why I assumed she'd be talking to herself, but that's what I thought.

The person who answered came into view then. A boy. Right around the girl – Jane's? – age. He was equally pale, equally perfect-looking. Untouched by the Forest of Dupree and any other marring, physical or otherwise. His hair was dark while hers was nearly light enough to disappear in the slanting rays of sunlight streaming from above. His eyes were the same, though. Not quite scarlet, but close. Amber, more like.

They were siblings. I'd bet all the money in my bank account. (Wasn't much, of course, but that was beside the point.) That's how confident I was that they were brother and sister.

"Alec," the girl said again. She didn't seem pleased, or excited, or upset. Or anything. Once again, she was emotionless. Unreadable. I think there's a difference between the two, but if you ask me it was hard to see. "You're early."

The boy, Alec, shrugged languidly, his shoulders moving up and down in a seamless, graceful wave. "Perhaps. But let's not dawdle, hmm?"

The girl nodded. "Agreed."

"Have you found what you're looking for?"

"Not quite. I have a good idea, but it hasn't yet been confirmed."

Alec nodded, seeming pensive.

"I need more time."

"Yes, I see." Alec sighed then. "But how much more? It's been a few months already. This endeavor should not have taken quite so long. Are you sure you're not wasting your time?" For some reason, I understood that he did not just mean _her_ time, but _all_ of their time. Her, the boy…and someone else. A few others, in fact. I wasn't sure precisely how I knew this, but I did. The realization was there suddenly, as if it'd just popped into my mind from nowhere, from far beyond the limits of the sky.

Jane tilted her head. "I understand. Make no mistake, my time is not being wasted. I'm close."

Alec nodded, resigned. "If you're sure. I'll see you soon, then."

"Very soon, I should think."

Alec turned to go, but then halted mid-stride. Slowly, he faced the girl, head cocked, nostrils flaring. "I smell blood."

She said nothing.

"I wasn't sure at first, but now– You've had a meal recently." Alec seemed to consider something. "But why are your eyes still dark?"

"I hadn't finished." A flash of white. She was baring her teeth in a feral grin. "As I said, you were early."

Alec stared at her a moment longer, then beamed an identical grin back at her. "My apologies, sister."

"Forgiven, of course," she said, her voice teasing.

"I look forward to your return home. It's been quiet. Too painless. Aro grows restless without you to entertain him."

She nodded, acknowledging this truth.

He was gone then. Vanished, like smoke. I stood gaping, awestruck.

"How did he do that?" I called, voice just a trifle unsteady.

The girl appeared in front of me in much the same way she had earlier – suddenly, with no warning, no sound or stirring of the air around me. She took hold of my wrist and yanked me from the bushes, into the clearing where she'd had her conversation with the stranger.

"Alec?" I asked, curious now that my shock had dwindled a bit. "He's your brother, isn't he? Your features are really –"

"Shush." Her tone was, again, commanding. Effectively silenced, I blinked at her, mouth pressed tightly shut. "Take me somewhere."

"W-what?" This was not at all what I'd expected her to say. Although maybe it was foolish of me to think she'd just prattle on about this boy Alec and what he meant to her. She didn't seem like the emotional type, and, as I've said before, she didn't appear too keen on the act of sharing.

"Take me somewhere," she repeated, patient now. She'd come to a decision, I could see it on her face – a face which, for once, was not fully unreadable. She seemed determined, if a little resigned.

"Where?" I asked, the only thing I could think to say.

"Anywhere," she said promptly. "Anywhere this power of yours will bring you."

 _She knows, then!_ I thought triumphantly. The knowledge thrilled me. _She knows after all._

Her hand was still loosely gripping my wrist, and so I closed my eyes, pushed out everything extra – my surroundings, the damp smell, the girl herself – and focused on home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Have a wonderful day!**


	6. Achievement Unlocked

I opened my eyes to the horrendous, glaring pink that could only belong to The Pastry Palace, a dessert café on Whittleston's main street. I'd appeared here many a time while trying out my newfound abilities. Thankfully, this time, I'd transported the two of us into the building itself, halfway down a little hallway which led to the bathrooms and utility closet, and not in the middle of the sidewalk where just anyone could see us. That would be pretty difficult to explain, if you ask me.

"Well, here we are," I said unnecessarily, gesturing to the suffocating pinkness. "Not my first choice, unfortunately, but you sorta put me on the spot there, and since I've been craving their raspberry-lemon muffins…" I shrugged.

"It's so…ugly," the girl said, wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah, well…" I didn't know what to say, honestly. After all, the décor and design of this place hadn't been _my_ decision. "So your name's Jane?"

She cast me a sidelong glance. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

I stared at her. "Um, no?"

She nodded, satisfied. "Good."

Uncomfortable now, I turned, left the café (ignoring the startled exclamations of the employees), and started walking in the direction of my street. Wordlessly, Jane followed, falling into step beside me. We didn't say anything until we'd drifted off Main Street and onto Greenview Boulevard, where I lived. My ranch house was a bit shabby, though for some reason I'd never really noticed before. No, that's a lie. Of course I'd noticed, but it had never bothered me before this moment. Now, with Jane at my side, my house's dreary state felt too obvious to ignore.

"Here we are," I said for the second time, and again gestured casually in front of me. I was slightly out of breath. I'd been walking real fast, maybe because I'd wanted to outpace Jane. She, however, looked cool and totally _in_ breath. Asshole.

Grumbling, for I was sweating and she was still, somehow, flawlessly unruffled, I threw my weight against the front door, relieved when it gave. Normally I forgot my key, which wasn't a big deal, but sometimes, when she was feeling particularly paranoid, my mom locked the door. Today was not one of those days. I led the way to the back of my house and into my bedroom.

"This is where you live?" There was no inflection in Jane's voice, no emotion to tell me what she was thinking, if she was thinking anything at all. As usual, her expression was difficult to read.

"Yep, the one and only."

She made a noise like she was considering or something, though I had no idea what she had to consider. Yes, this was my place of residence. What of it?

Not sure why I was feeling so defensive all of a sudden, I sat down on my bed and began taking my shoes off. I didn't say anything. The silence stretched between us.

"What is that?" Jane pointed.

I glanced to my bureau. "A broken Roomba."

"Which is what, precisely?" She seemed tense. Was the girl really that offended by a vacuum?

Sighing, I said, "It's like a mini vacuum that rolls around on the floor and sucks up gross things like dirt and crumbs. They're, like, really expensive," I added confidentially. I was trying to impress her for some reason.

"Why do you have one?"

"Well, I stole it. Accidentally, I'll have you know. It's really an interesting story." _She doesn't care about any of this,_ I thought to myself. But I didn't really care that she didn't care, so I added, "There was this bag, and I'd just bought a crapload of stuff, so I didn't see the Roomba at the very bottom, and I forgot I hadn't paid for it yet, but by the time I realized that, I was out of the store, and if I went back I'd look like a shoplifter and – Yeah," I finished lamely. I was feeling strangely talkative.

She raised an eyebrow but didn't purse the topic. "Do you live with other people?"

"Sometimes I wonder," I joked, then remembered she didn't know me at all. "Oh, uh, yeah, my mother. Renee. When she's not working, she's usually in town…doing stuff." I wasn't a hundred percent sure what it was my mother did, exactly, but I knew that I didn't want to find out.

Jane nodded thoughtfully, her eyes roving over every inch of my bedroom. "It's a nice room, if a bit untidy. I like the art books."

It took me a second (probably because her compliment of my room was really an insult), but I realized she meant my coloring books, and then I felt absurdly touched. No one ever mentioned my coloring books, and if they did, it was only to ask if they belonged to a six year old.

"They're really fun," I said, smiling, "and people of all ages can do it. It's relaxing."

Jane was staring at me with a funny look on her face. Had I said something bad? This friend thing was not in my area of expertise.

"Anyway," I said, clearing my throat, "um, so, why did you want me to bring you here?"

Jane stepped gracefully over my pile of old flip-flops and perched on the edge of my unmade bed. Her gaze was distant, and since I didn't want to interrupt whatever thoughts were churning inside that mysterious brain of hers, I waited for her to speak first.

"I didn't think it was safe to talk," she said finally. "Not there."

"What, in the Forest of Dupree?" I asked incredulously. "If that place isn't safe, then I have no idea –"

"Nowhere is safe," she interrupted critically. "Not for me, and I am beginning to suspect not for you, either."

"What does that mean? I'm not dangerous or anything," I added hurriedly. "Like, I'm not carrying a bowie knife or a sub-machine gun on me, okay?" Then I laughed, a bit hysterically. This whole conversation was starting to get a little ridiculous. "Honestly now, my life is so boring and uneventful. No one would ever pick me out of a crowd. I'm totally ordinary, trust me, so, uh…why wouldn't I be safe again?" I'd almost lost the thread of the discussion. Typical of me, really.

Jane was watching me with that funny look on her face again. The inscrutability of it was irritating. _Say what you're thinking!_ I wanted to yell. _Tell me what's going on inside that head of yours!_ Not knowing was much scarier than whatever truth she was holding back.

Her eyes were a brilliant scarlet. "There's always a reason for everything. Just because you consider yourself harmless does not mean that is the case."

"You know, being cryptic has never gotten anyone anywhere," I said, glaring. "If anything, being cryptic only makes things more confusing!"

Jane sighed and closed her eyes for a second. She kept them closed even as I stalked toward her and planted my fists on my hips. I wasn't sure if she was pointedly ignoring me or if she genuinely needed a moment to get her thoughts in order, but I'd just about had it up to _here_ with this shady _you're-not-safe_ bullshit.

"Listen," I started imperiously, "if you won't give me any straightforward answers, then I suggest you leave before I do something crazy. I'm not exactly the nicest person around, you know. There's a reason I don't have any friends –"

Jane stood up so fast I didn't see her move. Like, not even a little bit. It was like she'd turned into _me_ for a moment. Like she somehow took control of my power and used it for herself. One second she was sitting rigidly on the edge of my lopsided bed, and then her face was inches from my own, our eyes aligned. The sudden dose of heavy eye-contact sent a bolt of shock through my body, and I nearly stepped back. But I suspected doing so would diminish me in her eyes. It would be like giving up, like showing this freaky girl I really was afraid of her. I wouldn't do that. She could try to intimidate me, but that didn't mean I had to let it show.

"Was it something I said?" I asked mildly. We were apparently having a staring contest now, and it was all I could do not to blink. If I'd known we would be engaging in such a contest, I would've prepped myself. No doubt she'd planned this. Unfair advantage, really.

"It was _everything_ you said," she replied, lips barely moving. She looked star-struck. Was Katniss Everdeen in the vicinity? _No, no,_ I told myself firmly after a quick scan of the room, _she's not real, remember?_ Oh, right. Duh.

"All of it?" I asked skeptically. I mean, I was a talkative person, and when I didn't know someone it was like I was suddenly competing to be the World's Wordiest Speed-Talker.

She nodded, the tiniest hint of a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. "Yes. What's your name?"

"Amelia," I blurted, startled by this change of topic.

"That's a lovely name," she said, head tilting just the slightest bit, as if she was weighing the pros and cons of something.

"Well, actually –"

She didn't give me a chance to comment. The next thing I knew her lips were on mine.

 _That super-speed really comes in handy!_ I thought appreciably, and then my eyes closed. Freaky pixie girl tasted like cinnamon with little traces of coconut, and her lips were the temperature of ice cubes. You'd think such a sensation would be unpleasant, but…it wasn't. I didn't mind it. In fact, my heart beat just a little faster, and I found myself wanting to reach out and take hold of her shoulders to keep her there.

But then Jane pulled away, still unblinking. There was a look in her eyes now – not the indecipherable "funny" one she'd been wearing earlier – but a look I knew too well. Shock. Utter disbelief. And…familiarity? 

"Achievement unlocked," I whispered, with no idea what I meant or why I said this. I must've been playing too many rounds of Mario Kart on my Gameboy, I think.

"That's it," Jane said, staring at me with wide, wondrous eyes.

I opened my mouth to question, in exhaustive detail, what she meant by "it," when she raised a hand and touched her palm to my cheek, effectively silencing me.

"You're the one I've been looking for."

My eyes widened. Usually when someone said _You're the one I've been looking for_ it meant either _I'm about to murder you to settle a debt_ or _You forgot your wallet on the bus and I vowed to return it to you upon penalty of death_.

"You're it," she said again.

 _Me?_ I thought, perplexed. Still wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

I didn't dare make any sudden moves but, despite myself, I leaned in to Jane's hand. It was chilly like the rest of her, but soft and yielding, too. Comforting, in a weird way that didn't make any sense unless you were experiencing it. Lucky for me, then.

Her eyes flickered over my face, taking in all my features just like that, and I sensed an emotion that had been buried inside her for a long, long time now rise to the surface. It was light, and hopeful, and…happy.

"You're my soulmate," she said softly, hand on my cheek and eyes on mine. "You have no idea how long I've been looking for you. Centuries. Millennia."

I was speechless. Truly.

The words started to tumble from Jane's mouth, as if something that had been holding them back all this time finally broke. "I am a vampire, Amelia. I was not joking when I said that before. This is something I am sure you know. My teeth, my supernatural senses, even my physical appearance and clothing have given it away. You've noticed these things, I know you have," she insisted, as if I'd disagreed.

"I'm very, very old, and almost from the moment I turned I have been searching for my soulmate. My…family at home does not believe in them, but I knew soulmates had to exist. You cannot live as long as I without believing there is someone special out there, waiting for you, if only you know how to find them." She laughed a little then. "Of course, it was not only a matter of _how_ to find you, but _when_. Time is a sly creature, but I knew that with a bit of patience I would find you eventually." Here she paused, and her eyes swept over my face again, memorizing every last feature. "And I did."

"Soulmate?" I finally croaked. "I'm your _soulmate_? B-but how do you know?"

She shrugged, as if it were so obvious. "I tasted it on your lips."

My jaw sagged and hung open. _Very attractive, Amelia._

"I'll try to explain it as best I can," she said reluctantly, pulling me down beside her on the bed. "Something in me recognizes you, just as something in you recognizes me. When we met for the first time several weeks ago in the Forest of Dupree, I didn't think much of it. Sure, it was extraordinarily odd that you had appeared out of nowhere, and that should have been my first indication. But I was distracted, and besides, never in my long, long life did I expect my soulmate to find me _first_ ," she exclaimed, shaking her head.

"However," she continued, sobering quickly, "once you'd left, I couldn't stop thinking about you. There was something…peculiar about you that spoke to me. I'd just begun to actively search for you when you appeared before me like magic. As if you had sensed what I wanted."

I just stared at her. You see, because I didn't enjoy thinking very hard, I hadn't considered my desire to see her as abnormal or special. I just knew that she'd also struck me as… _peculiar_ , to use Jane's word. But it was clear to me now that I'd desperately wanted to see her again. I just hadn't wanted to acknowledge it.

"The second time we spoke I was more aware of you. Everything you said made me want to laugh. Of course, if you'd appeared earlier in the day I might have. But you just so happened to arrive when I was meeting with my brother, Alec." She paused and broke eye contact for a few seconds. "That was not a good time for you to make your entrance. But you did," she added wearily, as if exhausted by my undependable behavior, "and I shielded you from him. At the time, I wasn't precisely sure you were the person I was looking for, and so I did not want to bring you to Alec's attention. We're twins, you see, and he would have sensed what you meant to me."

Jane licked her lips and seemed to pick her next words carefully. "Alec and the rest of my family aren't exactly…approving of this quest of mine, as I've said before. They believe the idea of soulmates is a myth. They believe I've been wasting my time." She smiled fiercely. "But they were wrong. I knew what I was doing, what I felt. No matter how many years passed, I knew I would find you."

In the brief silence between us, my brain went into overdrive. Mired in my shock, I hadn't really considered who she was to me. This…revelation was earth shattering, and not just for obvious reasons.

"Oh my god," I said slowly.

"What is it?" Instantly, Jane's grip on my hands tightened ( _We've been holding hands this whole time?!_ ) and her gaze sharpened on my face, searching for signs of distress.

"You're a vampire," I said, slower than before. "You're a vampire, and you're my _soulmate_."

Jane's grip on my hands loosened, but she didn't break away.

"You're a vampire, and you're my soulmate, and I'm a _lesbian_!" I said, gasping.

Now, all of these things on their own would be no big deal. As I've said time and again, I was no stranger to the unexpected or unusual. But with these three truths coming at me together, all at once…well, it was a bit of a shock, to be quite frank. A shock on top of my lingering shock from earlier. Double shock. A shock within a shock. Shockception.

I was hyperventilating now. Big, gasping breaths tore in and out of my lungs in a way that almost hurt, and my hands were shaking. Vampires were real. Vampires existed and apparently _had_ existed for centuries. Who knew! Bloodsucking, cold-as-ice, white-as-marble vampires! And soulmates were an actual thing, like, _what_?! She was telling me people on earth had one special person they were destined to be with forever, and that _wasn't_ a line from a romance novel? No one would ever be lonely again. And I was a _lesbian_! Holy shit! No wonder boys had never expressed interest in me! They'd somehow intuitively known what I was completely blind to all these years. It all made perfect sense now!

"Amelia," Jane said over my loud gasping, " _please_ calm down. I know this is quite a shock for you, especially hearing it in its condensed version, but –"

I would not – could not – calm down. It wasn't happening. If anything, the sound of her voice made my panic even worse.

"Amelia!" she said again, but the sound of my name on her lips drove me further into the land of hysterics. No, sir, she was doing the opposite of helping.

But then.

Jane released my hands and gently, oh-so-gently, grabbed my face and turned my head so that I faced her. Slowly this time, so as not to startle me and accidentally send me into cardiac arrest, she leaned forward and brushed her lips across mine. Without thinking, I surged forward, pressing our lips roughly together, wanting her taste in my mouth, wanting her essence to flood every inch of my body.

Jane moaned a little, but then she pushed me away with just enough force to topple me off the bed.

"Oh!" she said, and immediately knelt by my side. "My apologies, Amelia, truly. I did not mean to use such force. You – you surprised me."

Her hands fluttered helplessly around me, like fragile butterflies, until they finally rested back at her side. I stared at her, not saying a word, still breathless from the kiss. If I hadn't known any better, I would've sworn there was a rosy blush in her cheeks and a swelling in her lips. But that was impossible. (She was dead. Undead. A vampire!)

I sat up on my knees and faced her so that we were mirror images of each other. Well, not really. Her blonde hair was still perfect, and her skin was still flawless. Her breathing – if she breathed at all, I suddenly realized – was steady and her eyes unflinching. My brown hair was tousled, my breathing was heavy and erratic, and I couldn't see straight. My world had been turned upside-down, and all I could think was, _I think I need more cinnamon in my life._

"Amelia, I'm –" She paused, wide-eyed, at the sudden wildness in my eyes.

"I think it would be smart to just… _stop_ saying my name. Please avoid saying it until further notice."

Jane blinked twice, her lips puckering into a frown. "But I love your name. It's beautiful."

"I know," I said, although I didn't, and this revelation filled me with a frenzied excitement, "but it's driving me a little crazy right now."

She nodded. "Of course. But Am-" A sheepish look, one that made me dizzy. "I mean, it's dangerous for you to do that. To kiss me. I need some time to adjust to your presence."

All thoughts of desire immediately fled from my mind. "Oh? Why?"

"Well, you're human and I'm not. The smell of you…it attracts and distracts me. Attraction is good. Distraction is not."

"Well, that's good news because the smell of you attracts me, too," I said, thinking, _Cinnamon, cinnamon, cinnamon._

She smiled a very small, nearly nonexistent smile. But I saw it, and not only because I was paying such close attention to her every move. When her lips curved, I felt a thrumming down my very spine. "Yes, but it's a bit different for me. You see, your blood…"

"Oh!" The reason for her hesitation finally registered. "Blood…vampire…I understand. Sorry, my head's kinda…loose right now."

"Completely understandable," she said softly. "Just give me some time to adjust to your smell. It's _very_ intoxicating. I fear it could become addictive." The look in her eyes suggested this wouldn't be an entirely terrible thing. "I need to build up some resistance if I'm to retain any control. After that, well…"

With an calculating look, Jane leaned forward and kissed me a third time. The tip of her tongue traced the inside of my lips, and then she tilted her head a fraction to the left to deepen the kiss. It lasted all of six seconds, but I died and was reborn approximately ten thousand times in those six seconds.

Jane was once again the one to pull away first, but she lingered, her eyes on my lips, for an obscenely long time. Finally, after she had her fill of my mouth, she moved off the bed and strode to the center of my room, her back to me.

"Now…I must ask you a question, Am-" She shook her head. "This is going to be more difficult than expected," she muttered under her breath.

Eyes wide, I waited patiently on my bed, legs swinging just above the floor.

"Would you…do you think you might want to visit my family?" Jane turned to look at me, an odd expression on her face. (Then again, I suspected all expressions would look odd to me. So far she'd been pretty unreadable, and so any expression that wasn't closed off was new.)

"As I said, they do not believe in the concept of soulmates, but I would like them to meet you regardless. They need to see that my search is complete. Alec will like you, I'm sure, and Aro will be pleased. Caius and the others will just be glad I am no longer wandering the planet on my own. Though I suppose –"

I stood up. "Jane." She stopped mid-sentence, mid-stride. She'd begun to pace. The hem of her impressive dark cloak swirled by her feet. "Of course I'll meet your family. What's the worst they could do to me?"

I'd meant this as a rhetorical question, but then I remembered they were probably all vampires too. _Shit_ , I thought uneasily. _One vampire is more than enough. A horde of vampires, though? Or is it a coven? No, that's witches. Maybe –_

Jane smiled then. A real smile, not one that merely peeked at the corners of her mouth. This one exploded across her face and brightened my entire room. My heart lifted and took off to disappear into the sky. My brain melted. The sun instantly expanded to twice its normal size. Everything took on a cheerful, rosy cast.

"Wow," I said, then blushed. _Way to be suave,_ I told myself. _You really need to work on your romancing skills, Amelia dear._

Jane extended her hands, and without hesitation I grabbed them in my own. We stood like that, less than a foot apart, hands swinging childishly between us, smiling our faces off. _Her eyes are beautiful,_ I thought then. Red like roses. Red like juicy strawberries and maraschino cherries and red velvet cake. Red like her lips on mine. Red like a gorgeous sunset. Red like love.

"You know," I said suddenly, surprising both of us, "you've told me so much about yourself today. I feel like maybe I should tell you something about me. Something…personal. I mean, you told me you're a _vampire_. That's intense."

Jane shrugged. "It's true though. And I would now share anything with you. It is not something I have to decide."

"Still." I breathed in deep through my nose and let it out slowly. "So, how about this. My name's Amelia, right?"

She stared at me strangely, but this time it was an actual _Are-you-okay_ stare rather than a stare I personally couldn't identify. "To the best of my knowledge…"

"Okay, well, that's wrong. Amelia is my middle name. Shocking, right?" I took another deep breath. "My real name, or I guess my first name, is Isabella. Bella, for short. I have two middle names, actually. Amelia Marie." Damnit, I was rambling again.

"Isabella Amelia Marie Swan." Jane's eyes took on a dreamy, faraway look. Then she said it again under her breath, so softly I nearly missed it.

"Um, yeah," I said nervously.

She came back to me then. "My new favorite name. We could erect monuments in that name. Build kingdoms. Entire cities!"

I laughed, then realized she was serious. "Wait…you could do that?"

Jane cocked an eyebrow and brushed her lips across my cheek slowly, seductively. "You have no idea what I can do, _mi amore_ ," she whispered.

She was right. I didn't know. But I sure as heck wanted to find out.


	7. Bonjour B**ch!

"They remind me of _packing_ peanuts, not, like, legitimate peanuts that a stomach can digest," I explained, holding up the tiny package for Jane's inspection. "And _that's_ my problem."

Jane blew out an exasperated sigh. I knew it was exasperated because she didn't even _breathe_ , so she was truly putting in some effort to show me how totally done she was. "It's airplane food, Bella. Nothing about it is gourmet."

"I understand that, but just because it's cheap doesn't mean it has to _look_ cheap, you know?" Had anyone heard of a little something called _presentation_?!

Jane, probably considering this a never-ending argument, merely nodded her agreement. Satisfied, I tossed the complimentary peanuts into a trash bag the next time a steward passed by our seats. I smiled pleasantly at him when he narrowed his eyes. Food waste was clearly a no-no, but that wasn't _my_ fault, good sir. _Maybe make your peanuts more, you know, edible-looking,_ I thought as he walked away, _and we won't have a problem._

The two of us were in economy, which sucked, but the flight was only half-full, which didn't suck. That meant Jane and I could sit next to each other without a third person interrupting us. We had a lot to catch up on, apparently. Well, _I_ had a lot to catch up on. Jane was over two millennia old, after all. That meant there was a shit-ton of history to learn. Good thing Jane was patient. Also, good thing the flight to Italy was _twelve freaking hours_.

"So like, you were part of all the wars?" I clarified, aghast.

"Maybe not a _part_ of them, but I was there for the important battles. You know, the Mongol Conquests, the American Revolutionary War, the Napoleonic Wars, World Wars I and II, the Civil War, that kind of stuff."

" _Stuff?_ " I nearly shrieked. Honestly, I was feeling a little faint. I was no history buff, but c'mon! "It's not _stuff_ when you kill people! Wait… _did_ you kill people?"

"No," she said, but she was a little shifty-eyed. I decided to let it go for now. We were in the early stages of our relationship. _Who did you kill and when_ questions could come later. Also, _how many people did you kill_ questions. Because that's a pretty important thing to know, wouldn't you say?

"Tell me about your family," I said, consciously redirecting the conversation. I was nothing if not considerate. "I'm going to meet them in a few hours, but I don't know a single thing about them, which is a little alarming." Understatement.

Jane frowned. "For starters, _family_ is a loose term. None of us are related. Well, Alec and I are, but we are the only ones who actually share blood."

"Interesting," I said, and by that I meant, _What?_

"The men in charge are Aro, Caius, and Marcus. Aro, however, is to the Volturi what your President is to the United States."

"The who now?" Also, I doubted this Aro was an orange Cheeto puff, but hey, anything was possible.

"Ah," she said sheepishly, "I forgot to mention. The Volturi is what we call ourselves. We're the largest and most powerful vampire coven in the world. We enforce the laws of vampirekind. There are leaders among us, like Aro, but then there is also the Volturi Guard, of which I am a part. Alec and I work alongside a woman named Chelsea, who is…important to our continued existence." Jane said this last part disdainfully, as if she couldn't stand the girl.

"What's wrong with Chelsea?"

"Nothing is _wrong_ with her," Jane said (bitterly, I thought). Chelsea is what binds us together. She allows for the guards to remain faithful and for the leaders to maintain a strong and… _mostly_ healthy relationship."

"Oh." To me, this meant that Chelsea slept around quite a bit, but then, I'd only figured out I was attracted to girls less than twenty-four hours ago, so what did I know?

"Yeah. We're basically royalty," Jane added dismissively, as if this didn't mean anything.

But I gasped. "Does this mean you live in an Italian castle or something?"

"No, not really," Jane said. "Our residence is nice, but nothing so ostentatious. We're supposed to be setting a standard for the rest of the world. We don't want other vampires to think us pompous, just powerful. Well, and intimidating," she added as an afterthought.

"If your family – sorry, _coven_ – is anything like you, that's probably achieved tenfold," I muttered.

The downside of having a vampire as a soulmate was that she could hear everything you said.

She smirked and continued. "Then there are Felix and Demetri, who ensure the safety of the Volturi through reconnaissance of other vampire covens. Very intimidating fellows," Jane said proudly. "There are dozens of others, but none of them are very remarkable. They work for the Guard. As do I, but… Alex and I are different. You could even say we're Aro's favorites."

"Really?" Now this was intriguing. "Why?"

She hesitated.

"You have to be honest with me, Jane. We're soulmates, remember?" I almost snickered because _really_? It was so cliché.

"I remember," she said softly, and lightly took hold of my hand. She started stroking my palm with her thumb. My brain melted. "The thing is, Bella…my family and I, we have gifts. Abilities, if you will. Like yours."

"You mean…" The possibility of this stumped me. For the second time in two days, I was speechless.

"Yes. Just as you have the ability of teleportation, Alec and I, as well as the core Volturi members, have abilities of our own. That is part of the reason we are so powerful. Not only are we the largest coven in existence, but our leaders have supernatural abilities that enable us to stay in power and defeat any threat."

I gaped at her soundlessly.

She smiled a little. "I did not want to tell you at first because I did not want to alarm you. But you are right. We _are_ soulmates, and if we are going to be together, we must be honest. I admit, it is going to take some getting used to. I am certainly not the most open person."

I nodded jerkily. "Yes, yes, I…trust me, I get that. Holy _shit_ ," I added under my breath.

"It is impressive, no?"

"What kind of abilities do you have? And Alec, and Aro, and all the others?" My eyes were locked on her face like lasers. Now that I knew there were others out there like me, I desperately needed to know what they were capable of.

"Well…" she said, hesitating again. "Alec, my twin, has the power of sensory deprivation. He can numb the senses of anyone, no matter their size or agility or nature, and render them helpless. Many a battle has been fought and won because of Alec's ability to totally dismantle his opponents. It's quite a sight."

Was it just me, or did Jane sound a little prideful? I wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Aro has the ability of tactile telepathy. This means that he can read anyone's thoughts and memories with a single touch, no matter how brief. It's an extraordinarily dangerous power, for Aro can see who's plotting against him. He can also see your most private thoughts and feelings, which can be…invasive." Jane frowned, and I could tell the idea of him touching either of us unsettled her.

"That sounds nightmarish, I'm not gonna lie," I said, squirming in my seat.

"Yes," she said simply. "Then there's Marcus, who can sense the emotional ties between people. He cannot manipulate them, but he can see them, and that is nearly as bad. Caius does not have any special gift, but he is the most ruthless of the co-leaders. Beware him," Jane said, suddenly serious. "Never think yourself safe when he's near."

I nodded quickly. Message received.

"Felix uses his brute strength to get by, and Demetri is a tracker, which means he can locate people by sensing their minds. He cannot read thoughts or do anything like Aro, but he's relentless in his pursuit of those who try to elude the Volturi's grasp. Chelsea," Jane said, spitting the name as if it were distasteful, "well, she is important because she controls the emotional bonds between people. Unlike Marcus, she _can_ manipulate how people feel towards one another. For instance, she has been manipulating Demetri to remain with the Guard because of his tracking ability. We had a tracker many years ago, but Demetri's power was stronger, and so Chelsea convinced him to stay."

Oh. So that's what Jane meant when she'd said that Chelsea bound the coven together. She didn't _sleep_ with the leaders. She just manipulated them into respecting each other. Or fearing each other. Or something.

"They all sound…terrifying, but what about you, Janie?" I was practically bouncing in my seat. "What kind of power do _you_ have? I bet it's _sick_." Then, when she didn't reply, I added, "I don't mean _sick_ as in vomit-inducing, but _sick_ like amazing! You know that, right? Sorry, my mom always says I need to clarify what I'm saying and that I can't just expect people to know what it is I'm talking about, so…" I trailed off, realizing that I was babbling again.

"Remember when I said I had never killed anyone?" she asked tentatively. She wasn't looking me in the face. Instead her eyes were on our intertwined hands. She was still rubbing my palm in calm, concentric circles.

"Um, yeah. That's not something you easily forget."

"It is true. I know you do not believe me, but I am telling you, it is true. I have never killed anyone, except possibly in my infancy as a vampire." Jane swallowed – an action so unlike her usual behavior that, for the first time, I started to really worry. "The thing I do is much worse."

"What…what do you mean?" Okay, I was sweating now.

"I torture people, Bella," Jane said bluntly. "My power is pain. Unending, bone-shattering, mind-devouring _agony_."

A beat of silence.

"That sounds…not great," I said. What? It didn't.

"You're not…frightened?" She seemed perplexed.

"Of your power? Well, yeah, of course! I'd be a total moron not to be. Or do you mean of _you_?" It suddenly struck me why she was acting so strange. "Jane. I'm not scared of you. It's a scary power but that doesn't automatically mean _you're_ scary, you know?"

"I thought you said I was intimidating," she said, smiling a little.

"You are! Since when does intimidating equal scary? They're two totally different things. I mean, if you want to be both, nothing's stopping you."

"Thanks, Bella." Her smile was almost full-blown now, and I was more than a little smug to be the one who put it there.

"You're very welcome, Janie."

The smile dimmed a little, and her eyes narrowed. "Stop calling me that. It's such a childish nickname."

" _Janie?_ I think it's cute. Besides, I can call you Janie if you're allowed to call me Bella."

" _You're_ the one who said it was perfectly fine to call you Bella!"

"I know. Still."

Jane rolled her eyes (a bit dramatically, I thought). "Sure, Bella, whatever you say."

"That's right, Janie."

She shot daggers at me with her eyes, but I pretended not to see them. Those daggers couldn't hurt me anyway. I was her soulmate, after all. That had to count for something.

"Before we get further off topic," she said suddenly, "there is something I want to discuss with you."

"Something else? Surely we've covered just about everything, don't you think?"

"Apparently not," she said dryly.

"Well, then. Continue." The stewardess who was usually serving people at the front end of the plane walked by pushing a cart laden with actual food. _Probably for those first-class shmucks,_ I thought jealously.

"…you need to keep your power a secret."

I tuned back in. "What?"

Jane sighed impatiently. "Pay attention please, Bella. When we get to the Volturi fortress, you must do everything in your power to keep your teleportation ability a secret from the others."

"Why? If everyone else has a power, it shouldn't be a big deal. Right?"

"It is more complicated than that, I'm afraid. You see," she said, eyeing me seriously, "our abilities only appeared _after_ we turned."

It took me a second to figure out what she meant. "You mean you only got powers once you were a vampire?"

"Yes, precisely."

"But that doesn't make any sense. I've had my power for a few weeks already, and as far as I'm concerned, I'm still human."

"Yes, precisely," she repeated.

I waited patiently for an explanation.

"Our abilities only manifested after we turned. The fact that you have such power as a human…" Jane seemed bewildered. "It is…"

"Impressive?"

She shot me a flat look. "Unprecedented."

"What will they do if they find out I can teleport?"

"They will never let you leave the city," she said matter-of-factly. "They might even turn you."

I gasped. "What! No!" Then, realizing I might be insulting her vampiric nature, I added, "I mean, no thanks. That's really…I don't think I'm ready for that right now." _Or ever,_ I thought. But I didn't want to hurt Jane's feelings so I kept this to myself.

"I won't let anything happen to you, Bella," Jane said reassuringly, moving her face closer to mine. I stared into her bronze eyes. (Jane was wearing grey contacts, and apparently red and grey make a sort of muddled bronze. This was news to me. I mean, I've never been an art aficionado or anything.) "It's true they don't believe in soulmates, but regardless, they will see that you are special to me, and that should keep them at a distance. As for Aro…" She paused, and another indecipherable emotion flashed across her face. "Well, I'll do my very best to keep him from touching you. Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I said immediately. She was a vampire and she hadn't drained me dry. If that wasn't incentive enough to trust her, I had no idea what would be.

As we waited for the stewardess to pass by with her empty cart, Jane brought my hand up to her face and kissed my knuckles. Instantly my whole body caught fire. But only inside, where no one could see and where I didn't pose a fire hazard.

"Do you think Renee misses you?"

I laughed, startled out of my thoughts. "Um, no. That's not something we have to worry about." I'd left a note on the kitchen counter letting my mother know that I'd be gone for a few days on a last-minute trip with a friend. Because I was such a responsible teenager, I'd even taken our emergency Nokia in case she wanted to get into contact with me.

So far ten hours had elapsed and still no sign of Renee.

What else was new.

Jane eyed me curiously. "Whatever you say, _mi amore_."

"No offense or anything, but what does that even _mean_?"

"It's Italian for _my love_ ," she explained, and looked down shyly. Again, if I hadn't known of her undead nature, I would've sworn she was blushing.

"This is why I call you Janie. It's a pet name. But maybe I need to think of something even cuter…"

"Oh, please no –"

"What's 'my ray of sunshine' in Italian?"

"I am not translating that."

I batted my eyelashes at her. "Pretty please? Don't you want to be called the Italian equivalent? I bet it's better than the English one."

She sighed heavily. " _Il mio raggio di sole_."

"What's that?"

"The rough translation."

I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. "Yes, I get _that_ , but what does it _mean_?"

"My sunbeam." Jane looked at me unhappily.

I laughed. "That's fucking adorable! It's even better than 'my ray of sunshine'! I love Italian. What else can I say?" An idea popped into my head. "Oh, I bet Italian insults are the _best_. Give me some really offensive names."

"Bella, I am not going to teach you how to curse in Italian. You do it well enough in one language."

"If you don't tell me, I'll just start making some up."

"It is not my fault if you embarrass yourself." But the thought seemed to cheer her up a little, strangely enough. What a sadist.

"Muffin de amor!" I said excitedly, my brain working overtime to remember the three years of Spanish I'd taken in grade school.

"'Love muffin'?" Jane translated, throwing me a look of pure exasperation.

" _Puta!_ "

Jane blanched. "Bella, you know that means 'whore' in Spanish?"

"I'm well aware," I said hotly. (I was not, in fact, aware of that.)

"As long as you know…" Jane glanced down at our conjoined hands, as if wondering how her soul had been eternally matched with mine.

" _Seggfej!_ " I shouted triumphantly.

"Bella!" Jane whisper-shouted. "You do not just yell 'asshole' on a crowded international flight!" She paused. "And how in the world do you know Hungarian?"

I didn't want to admit that I'd had it explained to me in a dirty bathroom at a late-night diner off the Sky Harbor Expressway by a homeless woman, so instead I merely shrugged. "It just came to me."

"I am sure it did." She was rolling her eyes again. "Can we stop this game now? You are tiring me out."

" _I'm_ tiring _you_ out? But you're the vampire. I'm the one who actually needs sleep, remember?" Then I reconsidered what this meant. "Damn, I must be doing a really fine job. Maybe I should actually start cursing in Italian now."

"Bella…"

When the stewardess walked by carrying a tray of tiny desserts, I whispered, " _Bonjour,_ bitch!"

"That's French, Bella."

"Oh, right."


	8. Since When Is Chocolate Pudding More Desirable Than Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Alternate Title: When Chocolate Pudding Takes Precedence Over Tiresome Conversation**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **As you can probably tell, I have a lot of fun with chapter titles.... Happy reading! <3**

I wouldn't be lying if I said the twelve-hour flight to Italy was eleven hours too long. Because I speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. But the walk through the stone fortress's labyrinthine hallways somehow seemed longer.

 _So this is where the Volturi live,_ I thought, impressed, as we passed by marble statues and under fifteenth century artwork painted on the high ceilings. It wasn't a palace or a castle, that was for sure. No, it was ancient enough to be considered a national monument, and as far as I was concerned, that's what it meant to the population-dense city of Volterra. Something told me they had no idea the most powerful coven of vampires lived right next door – if they _had_ known, I doubted the Volturi would have any neighbors for like, a good two-hundred miles in any direction.

"Tell me again why this was a good idea?" Despite myself, I was growing more nervous by the second. The flirty banter we'd engaged in on the flight had temporarily blocked out the frightening fact that I was going to be meeting dozens of blood-thirsty vampires. Well, no, the reality was worse than that – I'd be meeting dozens of blood-hungry vampires who just so happened to be _the closest living relatives of my one true soulmate_. Talk about intimidating.

"No pressure, Bella, no pressure," I huffed under my breath, wiping sweat from my forehead. (There were a shit-ton of stairs in this place, and I was woefully out of shape.)

"Deep breaths, _mi amore_ ," Jane said soothingly, her hand alighting briefly on my shoulder. "You won't have to say much, trust me. Aro likes to be the center of attention. You are human, so you are less of a threat than the usual vampires we entertain."

"Ah," I wheezed, and by that I meant, _Nothing you said was helpful._

Up ahead a set of giant double doors awaited. They were intricately designed with depictions of gods and angels and two-winged demons. My heart jumped into my throat.

"I can't believe I flew to Italy to meet a bunch of vampires on a moment's notice," I added. When I got nervous, my mouth tended to grow a mind of its own, and whaddaya know, this situation was no exception. "You'd think I'd put a little more thought into a decision like that."

"Do you regret coming here?" Jane asked, her voice calm and unconcerned.

"Do you want me to answer that honestly?" My eyes widened the closer we got to the doors. All of a sudden I realized that I didn't want to see what was behind them. I _really_ didn't.

Jane, sensing my growing horror, placed a light hand on my back. "Bella, this will be over before you know it. After this initial meeting, you will not ever have to see them again."

"Really?" I asked, frantically searching her face for signs of a lie. "You promise?"

Jane nodded seriously. "Yes, Bella. I promise. We can return to Arizona, and you will never have to set foot in Volterra ever again."

A gusty sigh spilled from my mouth. "That's reassuring. I thought I'd have to like, live here for a year or something. As part of an initiation." I had no idea _why_ I thought this, but knowing you were about to come face-to-face with the oldest and most powerful vampires in existence did weird things to your head. Take my word for it.

"Remember," Jane whispered into my ear as the double doors opened. "Do not mention your ability. Then you really _will_ have to stay here forever."

With that reassuring reminder, we stepped into the heart of the Volturi coven.

There were wide, sweeping arches and elegant marble tiling and even a small fountain in the center of a large dais, as well as lots of other fun and awe-inspiring details that I looked at with mild interest, but my attention was immediately drawn to a figure with bright blonde hair. _Caius_ , I thought, recalling Jane's description of him. The one without any power. The one who was ruthless. He was very pale and very heavily adorned in jewels and what looked like layers and layers of heavy fabric. Even though he was sitting, and there was no one else inside the chamber but his brothers and us, the collar of his outermost jacket was pulled up, and I nearly burst out laughing. _Is that 1950's grease-ball look supposed to be intimidating?_ I wanted to ask Jane. _Because, uh, he's nailed it alright._

My eyes swept to the side, past Marcus, who looked ancient and vaguely grumpy, like an old, forlorn grandfather who really wished he was eating his daily dish of chocolate pudding (or, I guess, _blood_ -chocolate would be more accurate) instead of doing whatever he was expected to do here, and landed on the thin boy I'd seen once before in a forest thousands of miles away from here.

 _Alec,_ I thought. He was Jane's mirror opposite in appearance – dark brown hair, brick-red eyes, and a pallor slightly less pale than my soulmate's. But the expression on his face was identical – frozen, unreadable. Intimidating. However, when his eyes caught on Jane, his expression softened. I blinked and he was standing directly in front of us.

"Sister," he said softly, and touched Jane's cheek affectionately. "I'm glad you have finally returned to us."

"Brother," Jane said, her voice slightly cooler than it'd been a few minutes ago. "I am pleased to be back."

Alec's eyes flickered to me and away again. "It looks like you found…what you've been looking for, yes?" Maybe it was just me, but the kid sounded like he was mocking Jane. Then I remembered that he didn't believe in the concept of soulmates, and the urge to punch him in his marble face intensified.

"Yes," Jane said simply.

"Jane!" boomed a surprisingly exuberant voice. Alec swiftly disappeared, only to reappear on the dais, slightly behind Marcus's chair. (Or throne, really – it was heavily bejeweled, which I considered an enormous waste of money on the Volturi's end. I mean, _hello_ , hadn't they heard of the Bedazzler?!)

My attention turned to the man standing center stage. He was short in stature, with long, dark hair and a weasely face. His features were sharp and pointed, and his hands clutched spastically at each other. Although he was impeccably dressed, the suit he wore was unadorned, and he wore no color but pure, nonreflective obsidian.

 _This must be Aro._ As the intimidating leader of the great Volturi, he…well…how should I put this? He seemed, quite frankly…unremarkable. Not scary, but more like a foolish great uncle or something. He wasn't threatening in the least, despite his glowy red eyes. This came as a great surprise to me, but I tried not to let it show. I didn't want to seem like I was easy to impress, you know? I mean, I _was_ , but _they_ didn't need to know that.

"Welcome, welcome! I am so _pleased_ to have you back at home, my darling Jane!" Aro, hands clasped before him, drifted towards us. I automatically stiffened (he wasn't scary, okay, but I knew he was still a vampire), but at Jane's light touch on my wrist, I focused on relaxing. Also, a smile couldn't hurt, right?

"Thank you, Master," Jane said, her tone still cool and inflectionless. "As I told Alec, it is good to be back in Volterra."

"It's been so _boring_ here without you to entertain us, isn't that right, Marcus?"

Marcus, eyes drifting lazily around the room, nodded his assent. He was probably still longing for that dish of blood-chocolate pudding.

Aro sighed, visibly deflating. "You see? We _all_ have been dragged down in a fog of despair since your departure."

Had Jane forgotten to mention he had a great talent for theatrics? I cast her an accusing glare. Yes, yes she had.

"How long has it been, eh, Caius?" Aro asked without turning around.

"Fourteen months, sixteen days, Aro." Caius seemed to be examining a carpet that was hanging on the far wall. In his defense, it did look very old, and I bet it had more interesting things to say than either me or Aro or Jane.

Aro gasped. "Four _teen_ -! Oh, my dear Jane. Never before have you left us for so long."

From across the room, like a giant stirring from a deep sleep, Marcus spoke. "That is a lie, Aro, and you know it. Jane once left us for nine years." By the tone of his ancient voice, I gathered he wished she could've aimed for a full decade. Or longer.

"I apologize for causing you such distress, Master. But you see, I have finally located what it is I've sought all these years." Jane discreetly gestured to me, but I was still blindsided by the fact that she'd called this weasel-in-a-suit _master_. Like… _what?_

"Ah, yes, your… _soulmate_." Aro's lips puckered with distaste at the word. Or maybe it was distaste for _me_. How should I know? Vampires were a mystery. Either way, with little more than a cursory glance, Aro dismissed me.

That is, until Jane said, "Yes, Master. She _is_ my soulmate. Her name is Isabella Amelia Marie Swan, and she is not going anywhere." For the first time, I heard defiance in Jane's voice. There was a flinty look in her eyes, and I swelled with pride – she was standing up for me!

"Oh?" Aro examined me now with a critical eye, and I sensed movement behind him. Both Caius and Marcus were scrutinizing me, too. Alec seemed a bit bored with the whole thing, but he was also looking at me with mild amusement. _Everybody's a critic,_ I thought irritably.

"She's quite ordinary…even for a human," Caius said, and was it just me, or did I detect a hint of malicious mirth in his voice? The death-glare Jane sent in his direction suggested it wasn't just me.

"Thank you for your input, Caius," Jane said pleasantly, her voice now ice-cold. He shifted in his seat and narrowed his eyes, but otherwise he seemed unimpressed.

"Yes, ordinary, I agree," Aro said, his weasely eyes roving over every inch of my face, "but pretty, too. The eyes, the hair…she's even got the skin tone already!" Aro clapped his eyes, making me flinch, and faced the dais. "Oh, she'll do quite nicely, I think!"

Startled, I glanced at Jane and raised an eyebrow. She'd gone still, so I nudged her arm. No reaction.

Caius, an evil smirk on his lips, nodded his agreement. "I agree. It will be amusing to have a new member. It has been, what, half a century since our last recruit?"

"More than that," Alec scoffed, obviously playing along. He was enjoying himself now. "A full century, I'd say."

Caius nodded amiably. "Yes, a full century sounds more like it. What say you, Marcus?"

The old man shrugged disinterestedly. "I suppose she will fit in, if she must."

Aro spun around in a move oddly reminiscent of Michael Jackson and clapped his hands again. "It's final, then! Jane? Do you have a preference for date and time? I would prefer to do it tonight, but we can push it off until tomorrow if you'd like."

Blinking, I looked back and forth between Statue Jane and Aro. Finally, when I realized no explanation was forthcoming, I said timidly, "Um, excuse me, but…what are you talking about?"

Aro laughed. "Oh, you're a silly one!"

Which only made me blink faster.

But as the silence stretched, Aro's excitement dimmed. "Jane, dear? You _did_ tell her what's to be done, yes? That _is_ why you've brought her to us, hmm?"

My eyes pinged back to Jane. Her color was normal again (for an undead creature, of course), and she suddenly unfroze, moving fluidly across the marble-tiled floor to Aro's side.

"Forgive me, Master." Jane's voice was the perfect combination of contrition and sweetness. "There seems to be a misunderstanding. I did not bring her here to be turned. She –"

That's when I dropped any pretense of propriety. " _WHAT!_ " I shouted. "You thought – _They_ thought –" Gaping, I looked from Jane to Aro to Alec and even to Marcus, as if he had anything to do with my predicament. " _Did you bring me here to make me a vampire?"_

Jane was at my side in an instant. "No, Bella, no," she said, hushing me, her hands fluttering like anxious moths. "As I said, this is a misunderstanding." To Aro: "I only brought Bella here to show you that my search has come to an end. I will be returning with her to the States."

Alec, who'd been leaning against the far wall with an amused grin on his face, suddenly straightened. "What?" he said, sounding alarmed. "You're not staying?"

Jane shook her head, not even so much as glancing at her brother. Her scarlet-hued gaze was locked on mine. Calming me down, I suppose. It was working, although the longer she maintained eye contact the more I wanted to jump her. Not quite the desired effect she had in mind, I imagine. "We leave early tomorrow morning."

"So soon!" he wailed, and I had to agree. Wasn't one twelve-hour flight enough? Now we'd have to go on _another_ , and in less than twenty-four hours? I desperately wished we could just teleport back to Arizona, but of course _Jane wanted to keep my power a secret, blah, blah, blah._ She was too cautious, that one. For the first time I worried that she might be somewhat…overprotective.

"No one's going to make you into a vampire, Bella," Jane said reassuringly.

"Not yet, at least," Caius muttered, and Jane's head whipped in his direction. Was it me, or did he flinch a little?

Meanwhile, Alec was still in the throes of despair. "You will abandon us? Abandon _me_? Jane, please –"

"Enough groveling," Aro snapped suddenly, and the room went instantly quiet. Softly, to Jane: "Pet, won't you stay for a few days, at least? We've all missed you oh-so-very much, and to be parted from you for so long…well, it breaks my heart." His eyes became wide and pleading, which almost made me gag. It was revolting and obscene and way too puppyish. _Put that away!_ I wanted to tell him.

"Forgive me, Master," she said again, "but my priority, for the time being, is to stay by Bella's side. I am always loyal to the Volturi, but Bella is my world now. Where she goes, I go."

Aro sighed deeply and closed his eyes for what felt like an eternity (but which probably felt more like ten seconds to the rest of them). Finally, he opened his eyes and said, "As you wish, dearest. Go where your heart takes you! But keep in mind," he added, eyes darkening, "Isabella here does not have all the time in the world. Decisions must be made, and soon."

I didn't like the sound of that, but Jane merely nodded. Was she just being subservient again, or did she really believe whatever Aro was suggesting? I guess I'd find out tomorrow on our long flight home.

"We are all so glad to welcome Isabella to our family, Jane –" Though based on the scathing looks Alec and Caius threw me, I doubted that – "but it is up to you to ensure she _stays_ that way."

With these ominous words, Jane and I made our exit.

But not before (and I _swear_ he did it, despite his inability to digest food) Marcus let loose a tremendous belch.

 _Probably all that chocolate pudding,_ I thought wildly as the doors swung closed behind us.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the plane ride home the following morning, Jane was oddly distant. At first.

"Why did Aro think you brought me there to turn me?"

She sighed. "That's what he always assumes. I doubt it ever occurred to him that anyone would _want_ to remain human."

I harrumphed. "Well, that's presumptuous of him. I mean, is being a vampire really _that_ great?"

"Let's see. Speed, agility, extrasensory abilities, super strength, immortality…" Jane threw me a dry look. "I don't know, what do you think?"

I tried and failed to suppress a smile. "Okay, fine, you win." Then, after a moment's reflection, I blurted, "You won't _force_ me to become a vampire, will you?"

"Bella!" Torn from her stupor, Jane blinked twice – her expression of shock. "I would never!"

"But Aro expects you to do it. Eventually."

"Yes…yes, he does." And she immediately sunk back into her foul mood.

But I was relentless, if nothing else. "Which means that at some point in the near future, you or someone else will have to bite my neck."

Jane looked at me. "Only if you desire it." But her voice was weak, and I sensed it wasn't exactly a _choice_ at all but rather an eventual requirement of being her soulmate.

"It's not that I don't _want_ to, Jane, but…" Tiredly, I rubbed my forehead. Sometimes that made my brain work. Only sometimes though. "I don't know. Becoming a vampire isn't something I'd ever seriously considered, you know? For me, it's always been sort of a fallback career."

Jane didn't seem to understand the joke, so I shook my head and repeated, "I don't know. Give me some time to think about it."

"There's no pressure, Bella, despite what you've seen. It's your decision, okay? Never forget that." She rested her pale hand on mine, our fingers overlapping. "I respect your wishes, whatever they may be. You take all the time you need."

"That's a relief because I'll probably need like six decades to make a decision. Will you still like me when I'm in my seventies?"

Jane smiled, and I sighed a little. _There she is._

"Why is it we always hold our important conversations forty thousand feet above ground?" I added, glancing around the airplane. This time the flight was nearly full, but someone – Jane's intimidating presence? My quick wit? – had ensured that the aisle seat remained empty.

"Maybe it's something to do with the air pressure," she said, and I nearly choked on my bottled water.

"Did you just make a joke?" I stared at her wonderingly.

"I believe I did." She seemed mystified herself.

"Who _are_ you?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "I see Aro's not the only one with a penchant for the dramatic."

"Oh, please, he was the drama queen of all drama queens. Seriously, I've never met anyone who _emphasizes_ their _words_ so _passionately_."

"Stop it, Bella." But her eyes twinkled, and I squirmed happily in my seat.

Jane leaned forward and kissed my cheek, which immediately froze me in place. Obviously, this was her intention, for she said, " _Anyway_. I meant to tell you that this decision is irreversible. It is not something to take lightly, as I know you do with most everything." She paused. "I am thousands of years old, Bella. That is no small thing."

"True, but you have the body of a sixteen-year-old. It's hard to remember your age when you look so young and innocent." I moved as if to pinch her cheek, but Jane was quicker. She lightly caught my finger between her teeth and proceeded to suck my finger into her mouth.

"Oh!" I said loudly. (It might've been more of a moan, but hey, that's not _my_ fault.)

And out popped my finger.

"Shush!" Jane, laughing under her breath, pressed a hand over my mouth. "I may have the body of a sixteen-year-old, but so do you."

"Jane! I'm _actually_ sixteen!"

She shrugged. "Semantics."

Finally bored of this conversation, I said timidly, "Um…Jane?"

"Yes?" She was momentarily distracted by the flickering of the cabin lights. The captain came on the loudspeaker to let us know we'd be experiencing some turbulence.

"Do you think…maybe…"

"What is it, Bella?" she asked mildly, still concerned by the flashing lights and the bouncing of the plane.

" _Can you suck on my finger again?_ " I blurted, just as a buff male steward walked by. He stopped in the middle of the aisle and stared. I blinked prettily at him.

When I returned my attention to Jane, her eyes were inches from mine. "Darling, I'll suck your finger all night long," she said in a seductive Texan drawl. The steward hastily took off down the aisle, probably to alert the other flight attendants that two girls in section B were about to rip each other's clothes off and cause an inappropriate disturbance.

I kept my laughter bottled up. Barely. "Will you do the honors?"

Jane licked her lips, and my eyes zeroed in on her mouth like target-seeking missiles.

"I shall," she said, and popped my finger into her mouth again.

"Mmmm," I moaned softly. My eyelids fluttered shut.

Jane swirled my finger around in her mouth for a moment before saying, "You taste lovely."

My eyes snapped open. She was grinning, Cheshire-like.

"That's sick," I mumbled.

"You would know," she said around my finger, which was knuckle-deep in her mouth.

"And what does _that_ mean?" I narrowed my eyes, preparing to be offended.

"Sick as in _amazing_ , Bella, not sick as in _vomit-inducing_ ," she said, throwing my own words back at me.

I kissed her long and hard for that one.


	9. Rome Wasn't Built In A Day

I suddenly bolted upright. "Well, I feel stupid."

"What about now?"

Jane squawked even though the pillow I threw at her head missed by several feet. Damn her quick reflexes.

"You really need to work on your aim," she admonished me, righting the phoenix trophy Renee had given me for my twelfth birthday. At the time I'd been going through a bird phase, even though I was terrified of birds. Make of that what you will.

"No one asked you, _Janie_ ," I said, sticking out my tongue. She hated the nickname, which meant that I adored it, naturally.

"Continue," she said, waving a magnanimous hand.

I rolled my eyes and lay down beside her on my bed, pushing aside my favorite stuffed animal, Pinkie. "I feel stupid because we could've _totally_ bypassed the whole flying-to-Italy thing."

"Oh?" Usually when I said _oh_ , it meant I had no idea what was happening. But when _Jane_ said _oh_ , it meant she was waiting for an explanation because something crazy had just come out of my mouth.

"Jane," I said, staring her straight in the eye, " _I can teleport_."

She tilted her head. "I'm so glad you've discovered this on your own."

I smacked her arm, which only meant there'd be a bruise on my palm later. At least there was a possibility she'd kiss it better. "No, I mean – _why did we fly?_ I could've just teleported us to Volterra and back! Do you know how much time we could've saved?"

"Bella –"

" _Twenty-four hours!_ " I hollered, growing agitated. " _Twenty-four hours of time!_ That's a _whole day_ , Jane! Do you understand what this _means_?"

"You think we wasted a day of our lives?" she asked patiently.

"Yes!" I pumped my fist in the air. "Yes, that's _exactly_ what it means! How did we not see this before? I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I know that well enough, but _Jane_ , you're hundreds of years old! What else have you been doing if not thinking these things through?" For a second, I wondered if I was forgetting something important, but then I swatted it aside.

"I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or not," she said thoughtfully, "but regardless, did you consider that I had already thought the situation through and decided we should avoid teleporting?"

This gave me pause. I had not, in fact, considered that possibility.

She nodded as if I'd spoken aloud. "Right. And did you think to _ask_ me instead of berating me in a loud, unfriendly voice?"

I grumbled and turned away from her.

"What was that?"

I sighed. "No, I didn't think to ask you, Jane."

"That's what I thought."

 _She's too smug for her own good,_ I thought, annoyed. _That's going to hamper her later in life._ Probably when she hit her three-thousandth birthday.

"Now," she continued, gently rolling me over so that we faced each other, "why would I want us to avoid teleporting in and out of Volterra?"

It took me a second, but finally – "Oh, now I _really_ feel stupid." I had totally, totally forgotten the reason for keeping my teleportation secret. Who forgot something so _major_? Me, that's who. My memory was total shit.

Jane tried to wrap her arms around me as I covered my face. "Stop it, Bella, you're not stupid and you're not thoughtless. You're just…overthinking things a bit, that's all. C'mon, now."

I allowed her to pull my hands off my face so she could fully wrap her arms around me. Despite her stony exterior, Jane was really skilled in the art of cuddling. It was just another of her many conflicting personality traits.

"If Aro finds out about your teleportation ability, he'll try to exploit it, Bella. He'll do everything in his considerable power to make you stay in Volterra, and that doesn't exclude turning you into a vampire to keep you by his side. To him, such a skill is invaluable. Vampires are fast, but not _that_ fast," she added.

"But can I still _do_ it?" I asked, afraid of the answer. It hadn't occurred to me that "keeping it secret" included doing so not only in Volterra but my life _here_.

"Teleport?" At my nod, Jane sighed. "Yes, but you must be careful now, Bella. Every time you decide to pop up or disappear somewhere, you need to really consider the consequences. Is it that important that you teleport, or can you walk? Do you really need to go, or can it wait?"

"Wait for _when_? Vampires are immortal, apparently, so I'll be waiting until I'm dead. What's the use of this power if I can't even use it?" Grumpily, I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. I hadn't asked to be in possession of this awesome ability, but now that I was, it just so happened I couldn't even _use_ it? What kind of nonsense was that?

"I meant _wait_ as in _until you get your license_ , but I see your point," Jane said with a thoughtful frown. "We just have to play it safe, okay, dearest?"

How could I stay mad when she used a nickname like that? "Okay."

"Don't sound so despondent," she chided, nudging me with her elbow. I squirmed a little at the pressure – she was often unaware of her own strength, but that wasn't her fault. I mean, not really. Well… Nevermind.

"When will your mother be home?"

I shrugged. "Whenever. She doesn't exactly stick to one schedule."

"Well," Jane said, with a sly smile that made goosebumps rise on my arms, "we can do anything your little heart desires until she returns. How does that sound?"

"Much better." Restored to my former cheerfulness, I sat up straight and leaned down to peck Jane's cheek. She moved her head so that my lips met hers, and an explosion of warmth blossomed in my chest and spread throughout my whole body.

"Your hair is so blonde," I said breathlessly. "It's truly like angel's hair." At her sudden glare, I added, "Not that _you're_ an angel, of course, because you're the complete opposite. That's not to say you don't have the _beauty_ of an angel, but maybe a beauty that's a little twisted, but in a _good_ for good?"

Jane tilted her head, considering. "No. You're my soulmate. I've searched centuries for you. Never would I leave you now that I've finally found you. Unless, as I said, you desired it." She turned her gaze to the ceiling. "But even then, I'd be…very reluctant. I might not be able to stay away, despite myself. Or your wishes."

"But if you stay… Which," I added hurriedly, in case she thought I didn't want her to, "is entirely up to you and of course I don't want you to go anywhere else, but…" I licked my lips. "Where will you live? There's no way you already own a house around _here_. We're at the corner of Bumfucktown between Nowhere and Unimportant, USA, if you hadn't noticed." I took a moment to admire my wit. "Will you rent an apartment or a condo or something?" Then I gasped in alarm. "You won't kill anyone and start living in their house, will you?"

Jane laughed. "No, Bella, of course not. That's far too conspicuous." She seemed to study me, but I hoped not _too_ closely. After all, she hadn't expressly said she _wouldn't_ kill someone. That was worrying. "Being a vampire, I can move exceptionally fast. When I stalk prey, I am so quiet even the sharpest ears on earth will not hear me coming. Nothing can catch me, even most other vampires." She smiled then, her incisors sharp and white.

I was still hung up on the word "prey" and its connotations as pertaining to people. Real, live, red-blooded humans. I swallowed.

"I can tell this talk of my nature upsets you," she added, as if reading my mind, "so we'll drop it. For now."

"I'm not _totally_ upset by your nature. After all, I'm still here, right? I haven't run screaming from the room yet." I shot her a cheeky grin to let her know I was joking. Mostly. "I don't mind that you're a…vampire. So you're fast and quiet and strong. So what?" I breathed in deep through my nose. "It's just the…feeding part. The fact that you "hunt" people like me. Humans. That's just a tough idea to wrap my head around, you know?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do know." Then, quieter, "Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, Bella. Rarely do I receive such honesty, and never from my own kind. It is refreshing to hear the truth."

"Well, we're _soulmates_ , Janie," I teased, secretly touched. This girl knew just how to make me all teary-eyed. "If we can't trust each other, the term kinda loses its meaning, right?" I grinned at her, square teeth and all. She could be so goshdarn _serious_ sometimes. It was sort of cute, to be honest.

Then I had a brilliant idea.

"Wait," I said, holding up both hands like a traffic cop. "Hold everything."

Jane waited, amusement plain on her face.

"You're super quiet, right?"

"More than you know," she replied dryly.

"Well, _why don't you stay here?_ With me!" This idea was so clear to me, so obvious, that I almost smacked myself upside the head for not thinking of it sooner. _I mean,_ really, _Isabella? Where's your brain?!_

"In your house?" Jane asked dubiously.

"Duh! _Yes,_ in my house! My mother will never know you're here, and that's not just because you're silent as an…umm… Well, an animal that's quiet," I finished lamely. "It's because Renee's never around anyway. Probably messing with another pool boy somewhere. That fancy swim club, I bet. A lot of college boys work there…"

Jane snapped her fingers in front of my face, and the sound was like a slap against wet concrete. Loud and jarring. "Focus, Bella."

I jumped and shook my head. "Right. Anyway!" I turned big, pleading, puppy-dog eyes on my soulmate. " _Please_ stay here. No one will know. There's not a neighbor around for more than four hundred feet!" Was that a far distance? It sounded like it, but what did I know? I wasn't a mathematician, for Chrissake. "Besides, how else will I get to know you if you're far away?"

Jane studied me thoughtfully. "I do not see –"

"You can even sleep here!" I blurted enthusiastically. Whew. Been wanting to get that off my chest since this conversation started. But wait, was that too obvious? "I mean _sleep_ as in –"

Jane blinked and said, "Bella, dear, I'm a _vampire_ , remember?"

I deflated a little. "Oh, you don't sleep. Forgot."

"It's perfectly okay. I can still…rest…in your bed, though. If you'd like," she added with a mischievous smirk.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. " _Rest_ , yeah, sure. You'll probably do something creepy, like watch me or hope I talk in my sleep so you can discover all my dirty secrets."

" _Do_ you have dirty secrets?"

I licked my lips. "Uh…" She grinned, and I smacked her hand. Ow. Bruise later. "None of your business!" I finally said, with a confidence I didn't feel. As if any denial I ever made could fool her.

"I do have one question," she said, rolling onto her stomach and propping her chin in her hands, eyes flashing a deep red. Talk about adorable. _Lethally_ adorable, but still adorable.

Then her question registered, and all thoughts of adorableness flew from my mind. "No, I've never kissed a boy, even though I _did_ think about it a bunch of times, okay, which, in retrospect, only makes me more confused because –" I blinked. "Wait, what were you gonna say?"

She stared. "I have no idea why you were saying what you were saying. I want to know about the lightning."

"The lightning?" I repeated, perplexed. I'd have _sworn_ this conversation was moving in the direction of past relationships. Don't ask me why I thought that, but I definitely assumed that's where we were going with this.

"The lightning," she confirmed, startling me out of my thoughts.

Uh-oh. I'd lost the thread of the conversation again. Nervously, I plucked at the fraying hem of my shirt.

Jane sighed after a full thirty-second pause. "Did you forget what we were talking about already?"

I nodded sheepishly.

"Oh, Bella," she said, and pulled me down beside her. We cuddled close together, face-to-face. "You are a handful, you know that?"

"By _handful_ do you mean _full of hands_? Because let me tell you, my hands are all over the place lately." As if to prove my point, I ran a finger down Jane's icy-cold neck and let my other hand play with her hair, even though it made me nervous. Did she like that kind of thing? Was I pushing it? Since when did I become the sort of person to worry about stupid, flirty touching? Since when did I participate in flirty _anything_?

_What was happening to me?_

"This is so bizarre," I said, snuggling closer to Jane and snatching Pinkie before he fell off the bed.

"What, that you're lying in bed next to a bloodthirsty, pain-talented vampire who also happens to be your soulmate?"

"Well, _that_ ," I said, throwing her a dirty look, "but also… _us_. We barely know each other, but we've already gone off to Italy on a spur-of-the-moment trip and spent every minute of the past two days together. I've never been this close to anybody. Not even Renee. Except," I amended, "maybe in the womb. _Maybe_ ," I stressed, because who could know for sure?

"Did you know, Rome wasn't built in a day," Jane said, staring me right in the eye. Actually kind of intimidating, to be honest. "And this relationship won't be either. Even though we are soulmates, it is going to take some time to get to know each other. We don't just realize we are meant to be together and then _POOF_! Know everything there is to know. Time is something I've become well-acquainted with, _mi amore_ , and I am not afraid of waiting."

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess. But like I said, it's bizarre. We're soulmates, but I don't feel too connected to you. I mean, I _do_ , deep down inside, if you wanna go that far, but the surface details are kinda sketchy, you know?"

"Then why don't you start by telling me about this lightning business."

I stared at Jane as Jane stared innocently back at me.

"Was this entire conversation a way for you to circle back to the mysterious lightning thing?"

"Of course not."

We stared at each other some more, neither of us willing to yield.

"Bella –"

"I don't believe you."

She frowned. "Bella, that is not why I said all those things. I meant every word. It just so happens that whatever the lightning did to you is important. Don't you agree we should try to discover the truth?"

I shrugged. "What truth? I was struck by a lightning bolt that came out of a wormhole in the sky and apparently hit me and gave me special teleportation abilities. What's confusing about that?" Honestly, I didn't see why this was a big deal.

"Where did the wormhole come from? Was it part of a thunderstorm or was it a weird, unnatural occurrence? Why teleportation? Why not some other unique ability?"

I was ready for that last one. "Well, lightning's fast, right? It strikes, disappears, then strikes somewhere else. Teleportation means I can appear and disappear at will. It's sorta the same thing, right?" It made sense in my mind, at least.

Jane studied me intently. "You might be on to something there."

"I better be. That's the only likely explanation." I shifted so that we lay shoulder to shoulder, Pinkie nestled in the crook of my one elbow. His trunk was frayed from so much use, but he still gave me as much comfort now as when I'd first gotten him nine years ago.

"I am sure there are other explanations, but I agree," Jane said, ever the pragmatist.

"Can we stop talking about it now? I get that you want to know all the gory details, but I'm over it. I mean, it's _done_. I can teleport, and that's that. I just wonder how long it'll last," I added under my breath, forgetting about Jane's extrasensory abilities.

"Maybe until tomorrow. Maybe next year. Or a decade from now. Maybe forever."

I shook my head viciously. "Nope, no way. Forever is too long."

Jane was silent, and I realized why a second too late.

"Oh, no. Jane, I didn't – That's not what – I mean, I –" Stuttering, stumbling, I tried to find the words to fix this. I was no good at these types of conversations, the kind that required depth and emotion and the expression of something not often spoken of. The ominous L word.

"It's okay, Bella," Jane said. She seemed…not quite exasperated. More like weary. "I know what you meant."

Unsatisfied, I leaned forward so that my face hovered above hers. "I'm not tired of you, Jane, I don't think I could _ever_ tire of you, so please don't think that." Did I look as desperate as I sounded?

"Bella," Jane said with a light laugh, and cupped her hands around my face. "Please. You have not offended me. Forever _is_ too long. I do not disagree with you on that. But," she added, eyes searching mine, "sometimes, if you find the right person, forever may just be long enough."

Part of me hoped to see for myself.

And part of me wondered if forever was just too long – period.


	10. Why Are All These Demons Treating Me As A Friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Happy reading! Thanks for leaving kudos <3**

I've never had a close-knit family before, if you can believe it, and I'm not saying that to garner sympathy or some shit. My mother, Renee, always put herself first. Like, no joke. When I was younger, we'd always eat at the restaurants she enjoyed most (crappy Mexican food over slightly less crappy Italian food), and we'd always buy tickets for the films she liked best (Nicholas Sparks movie adaptations, Sex and the City…need I go on?). Never mind if they weren't age appropriate – she'd sneak me in and scar me with vivid depictions of sexual intercourse and inappropriate language.

It was no wonder I was such a trash-talker. Thank Renee for that character fault, I wanted to tell Jane.

My father, Charlie, was never home. He was always away on business, which, to this day, is a topic I know nothing about. Maybe he was some sort of financial analyst? A sales engineer? A logistician? Actually, no, scratch that last one. My father was smart (I guess?), but he would never win an award for Most Logical. Not _ever_. One time he kept a real orange in his leather suitcase for about a month because he said it would add a more _authentic_ scent. A _real orange_. Make of that what you will.

Or maybe a management advisor? Hell, he could be Special Agent Money Launderer and I wouldn't know. I mean, he never took the time to explain his work to me. Actually, come to think of it, he never took the time to explain much of _anything_ to me. Maybe that's why I was so dumb. While I was supposed to be studying for a test in science, he'd be in China brokering some sort of deal, and of course Renee was no help, so the studying I should've been doing was never done. While I was halfheartedly assembling a magazine collage for art class, he'd be on the opposite coast dealing with another employee scandal. But he was never where he was supposed to be, never helping where it mattered. He was never home. Real shitty of him, am I right?

It didn't hit me until Jane unofficially moved in that I was, in fact – and had been for some time – really lonely.

"Does it bother you?" Jane asked me one day at the end of August. We were outside, lying on a worn blue-and-orange-striped picnic blanket. I'd gathered some chips and dip and warmed up those cheesy Taquito sticks in the microwave so we'd have something to snack on. Well, not that _Jane_ was especially hungry for that kind of thing, but I wanted to maintain the picnic aesthetic.

I shrugged in response. "I saw The Divorce coming weeks ahead of time. Besides, they'd never been all that close. Charlie would be in some other country living it up while Renee wasted time watching _Friends_ and eyeing up all those college boys that the swim club down the street hires. That's the way it's been for as long as I can remember," I said matter-of-factly. "Seeing the two of them together in the same room was a rare thing, I can tell you that."

"But does it _bother_ you?" Jane asked again, snatching the drippy Taquito stick out of my hand. I pouted, but she refused to give it back until I answered.

"Fine," I said, exasperated. "Yeah, it bothers me. Even though I feel like I barely know them, they're still my parents, right? Divorce hurts everyone. Now can I have that back?"

Jane extended her hand, and I grabbed the Taquito before she pulled it out of reach again.

"Did they ever try for more children?"

"I was more than enough for them," I said with a snort, and she dropped the subject. Nothing controversial there, though, because it was true – I'd been quite a handful when I was a youngster. Still was, in fact. (A handful, not a youngster. Although I guess that last label's debatable, depending on who you asked. Jane would say I'm still little more than a fetus, but at this point we all know that Jane's weird.)

Jane, in her dark cloak and enormous knockoff sunglasses purchased from the QuikMart, leaned back on her hands. For real, she was the queen of preening. The Preen Queen.

"Does the sunlight hurt you?" I asked curiously. She'd been existing – and by that I meant sneaking around the house when Renee was around, and living it up in my bedroom when she wasn't – with me now for about a week, and I'd yet to see her in the sunlight. She was always wearing that ancient, floor-sweeping cloak with the mysterious symbols along the hem. On the rare occasions she unbuttoned it, I only saw black clothing beneath. I'd only ever seen her skin exposed from the neck up. A total turn-off, really. 

Of course, it's not like she was a stranger to me, despite this lack of bodily awareness. I knew she enjoyed action movies – the "Die Hard" and "Fast and Furious" franchises were two of her favorites for some reason – and loathed daytime TV. (If she ever saw Jerry Springer in person, she'd told me one blazing hot afternoon, she wouldn't hesitate to kick his throat in.) I knew she liked spending time in my bedroom because it "smelled" like me, and I knew she thought the people in Whittleston were boring and closeminded. Also incredibly unimpressive. "I've seen the same bland Hollister shirt on _seven_ different people. _SEVEN!_ " she exclaimed one time when we were walking down Main Street.

I'd seen her angry, thoughtful, curious, surprised, vaguely annoyed, confused, amused, and exasperated, but never had I caught even a glimpse of her body. (Maybe those two things don't relate, but they do in my mind. The exposure of skin is a different kind of vulnerability.) She wore a thick, black sweater under that robe-thing. And her pants were more like balloons than leggings or skinny jeans or any other type of pants that were normally considered _clingy_. This was pretty unfortunate for me.

Also, much to my ever-increasing dismay, I'd never had the privilege of seeing her truly shocked or – aside from the day she realized I was her soulmate – truly happy.

"No," she said finally, with a small smile. "The sun doesn't hurt me. If anything, you could say the sun draws attention to me."

I waited for her to explain, but no information was forthcoming.

"Um… What exactly does the sun do to you, pray tell?" I asked.

She shuddered. "It makes me into a monster."

My eyebrows popped up. "Really?! How!?"

She barely muffled a laugh. "Not literally, _mio dolce_. Frankly, the sun turns me a little too…pretty."

I nearly bolted to my feet. "Well, now you _have_ to show me! _Too_ pretty? How is that even possible? You're already unearthly, you know, so I'm calling bullshit."

She shook her head, smiling. That smile did things to me. "Another day, Bella."

Now I _did_ jump to my feet. "No, not fair! I want to see!"

Jane's head moved to the side, and I knew she wanted me to see something. I turned around and saw my mother's shadow flitting about the kitchen. She'd come home from food shopping. Or, rather, "buying booze and Hostess products" shopping.

I sighed and slumped to the ground. "Perfect timing as always, Renee."

Jane lightly touched a finger to my cheek. "As I said, another time."

Something to look forward to, I guess.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**  
SEPTEMBER   
**

August inevitably led to September, and we all know what September means – back to school. It was my senior year at Richardson High, but it didn't feel different from any other year. I had no friends, and I did as little work as possible while still maintaining decent grades. At lunch I sat by myself at a corner table, and during gym I kicked a deflated soccer ball around the dirty baseball diamond. It was more of a rectangle than anything, but who was I to judge. I'd failed shapes in kindergarten.

Jane had been living with me for nearly three weeks, and Renee had yet to notice that there was an additional person taking up residence in our house. I found this more than a little funny. After all, what the hell kind of a mother wasn't aware that another person was using the bathroom and taking up all the available space on the DVR? A really selfish one, that's who. This was nothing new to me, of course.

"Doesn't your mother ever wonder who's in the shower when you're on the couch and she's in the kitchen?" Jane asked me on the second day of school. She was filled with questions lately. All the spare time she had while I was in school was getting to her.

"I'm not sure she even notices it," I said with a shrug. It was true. My mother was exceptionally oblivious.

Jane, wearing her cloak even though it was only seven in the morning, frowned and rose gracefully to her feet from the lip of the bathtub. "What do you think would happen if I, say, began cooking meatloaf in the oven and she walked in. Would she react?"

This gave me pause. I set down the brush I'd been yanking through my hair and stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. "No idea. She might be surprised, but then again she might just stare at you for a minute and then go about her day. She's unpredictable like that."

Jane exhaled slowly. "It's odd to me that you don't know your mother at all. It's as if the two of you revolve around one another. It's like you're strangers."

I'd never thought of it that way, but she was right. I didn't know Renee's favorite activity, besides dry-humping college-aged boys with tight abs. She liked romantic comedies and pizza, donuts, pastries, burgers – basically any food that was unhealthy – but not which type of each was her favorite. I didn't know when she'd met my dad, or even how. After all, they came from totally different circles. One was a notch above trailer trash, the other, a Stanford alumni.

By the time I woke up in the morning and made my way to the kitchen, Renee was pulling away from the curb to go to work. After school, I usually came home and locked myself in my room, and when Renee pulled up in the driveway shortly before six, neither of us would go out of our way to interact. That's the way it's always been. I was used to it.

"Did you have a good relationship with your parents?" I asked, needing to hear that I wasn't the only one who had a shitty relationship with their mom and dad.

"Considering it was over two millennia ago, it's hard to say with any accuracy," Jane replied, straightening a crease in my shirt. "Besides, they lived by different codes than the ones society has imposed on us now."

"True," I said, not really understanding what she meant but trusting that it was, in fact, true.

"I'm old enough now that I don't require parental supervision," she added with a small smile. "Marcus sometimes treats me as if I'm sixteen, but Aro is always quick to correct him."

I turned toward her, and she rested both hands on my shoulders. Up close, she was even more flawless than I remembered from the last time. Then again, every time I looked at her I saw more perfection than before.

"Aro's never treated you like a child?" I asked curiously.

She shook her head. "No. Once he saw what I was capable of, he made it a point to treat me with as much respect as he does Caius and Marcus and my brother."

"I hope to one day see this mysteriously scary power of yours," I said with a grin. Even though it sounded intense, I knew Jane would never let her ability get out of control like I sometimes did with mine. Plus, she probably looked totally hot bringing people to their knees.

Jane's smile faded and her expression darkened. "And I hope you never have to see me in action." Her hands fell from my shoulders, but I grabbed them before she retreated and folded myself into her embrace.

"Don't be mad," I murmured into the curve of her neck, regretting my words. "I'm sorry for bringing it up. I know your power is a sore spot."

"I could never be angry with you, Bella," she said softly. "I wish my ability was different, that is all. Not so terrifying." Her arms tightened around me.

"Well, I trust that you'll always have my back, at least. With an ability like that, nothing bad can happen to you."

"Nor you," she reminded me, and I squeezed her close, unwilling to be parted from her for a full seven hours. Fuck school, you know? But also…I really had to go. Sigh.

On our small front porch, I held Jane's hand between both of mine and pouted. "Why does the school day have to be so dang _long_?"

"Quit your whining!" she commanded with a laugh. The sound was so rare and so _startling_ that I stared at her, open-mouthed. "Seven hours is nothing. Now, if you had to be gone for seven hundred _years_ , that would be a problem."

I considered this. "Lucky for the both of us, the school board isn't that malicious."

"Lucky for the both of us, I have the power to sway them away from such a decision even if they were."

Grinning, I kissed Jane's cheek and raced down the driveway before the school bus left without me. When I glanced over my shoulder, I could see her watching me through the glass front door, so I waved.

She waved back.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**  
OCTOBER   
**

We were watching a movie on the Lifetime channel – "How to Lose A Man in 10 Days," if you're interested, and which was pretty ironic if you ask me, considering there were no men in my life, and didn't that say something? – early on a chilly Saturday afternoon, Jane in her usual black cloak, me in a t-shirt and hole-ridden jeans, when the phone rang.

The landline was located in the kitchen, and since Renee wasn't home because she was attending an engagement party or a bridal shower or maybe a baby shower (honestly, I'd tuned out her explanation), the phone would keep ringing unless the other person hung up….or unless I answered.

Resigned, I groaned and reluctantly extricated myself from Jane's arms. Rising from the couch, I nearly tripped over nothing but air – notoriously clumsy, that's me – on my way to the kitchen.

"Is there any way to pause it?" I called.

"Um, no, I do not believe so. It's live on Lifetime, not a recording."

Grumbling under my breath (I'd really wanted to see what happened between the genius redneck boy and the pretentious city girl), I grabbed for the phone before it rang one more time. For whatever reason, the sound of a phone ringing, especially ringing _endlessly_ , tortured me. It reminded me of hell. Not that I'd ever been there, of course, but my imagination gave me a pretty good idea of what it would be like. For one, there would be _way_ too many hotdog vendors.

"Hello?" I barked, annoyed now at this disruption.

When only silence and static reigned, I sighed and said again, louder, "HELLO?"

More static, and then – "Hello? Is this thing on?"

I rolled my eyes. (One reason I loved the phone – I could roll my eyes as much as I pleased without worrying about the other person's reaction.) "Of _course_ it's on. The phone is always on. Isn't it?"

"I do not know," the mystery voice said. Except it sounded strangely familiar. "Regardless, may I ask who this is?"

"May _you_ ask, how about may _I_ ask? You're the one who called me, remember?" Glancing over my shoulder, I tried to see if Jane had somehow miraculously managed to pause the movie. But no such luck. I could see the changing scenes reflected on the glass coffee table.

"I hope this is Isabella Swan, otherwise this will be awkward. These _phones_ are much more trouble than they're worth, I will have you know." The voice was very huffy, and a small alarm rang faintly in the back of my mind.

"Yes, this is Bella Swan. Who are you?" Despite myself, I started shivering. Because I had a pretty clear idea now. But hopefully I was wrong. Jane had _promised_ me, and I didn't want to prove her a liar.

"This is Aro Volturi, calling from Volterra, Italy."

I almost puked. In fact, I gagged loudly into the receiver.

"– I do hope they won't send me a large bill for these international calls," Aro was saying, "but I distinctly remember Marcus telling me about –"

By this point Jane was at my side, eyes wide and imploring. I was gasping and trying really hard to keep myself together, which was a difficult situation. I held the receiver as far away from my mouth as I could without actually letting go, and now Jane was reaching for it – slowly, so I had time to refuse. But I didn't know what to do. Aro of the Volturi coven was calling _here_?

Wait a second –

I yanked the receiver back to my mouth. "How did you get this number?"

Aro chuckled. "The phone book, my dear. Your generation has forgotten about it, which is a shame. It's quite a marvelous invention."

I blinked rapidly, noticing out of the corner of my eye Jane's unnatural stillness. She'd heard Aro's voice.

"Well, uh, what can I help you with?" I asked, not knowing how to react because Jane wasn't telling me what to do. This was her family slash coven slash _Master_ , after all.

"Oh, you know, just checking in with my favorite new member," he said with a genuine laugh. "I have to admit, I've become terribly fond of you, Isabella."

This struck me as extremely peculiar. I mean, I'd met him _once_ for all of twenty minutes, and he hadn't touched me with his ability, so how could he possibly be fond of me?

"And w-why is that?" Goshdarnit, my voice needed to get its shit together.

"The woman who is soulmate to Jane Volturi must be a fearsome individual indeed," he said, and I sensed some strange undertone in his voice. Like he was…not suspicious, exactly, but weary. Or maybe curious. Or maybe I was imagining things again. (I've been known to do that.)

I swallowed, still not knowing what to say to this man. Jane was still frozen, but I could see in her eyes that she was thinking furiously. I hoped it was something helpful here because I was running out of small talk.

"Uh, well, I wouldn't say I'm fearsome, you know, but I can make a mean omelette," I told him, and cringed so hard I thought the left half of my face would break. What a stupid thing to say! I mean, _really_ , Isabella? Of all the useless skills to mention…and to the fiercest vampire in the world. Oh, bravo.

"My, oh my, I haven't had an omelette in years, my dear! But the tastes, the intermingling flavors, the pure sensation of such a meal… _delizioso_!" Aro crowed, and I have to admit that I was quite taken aback by this response.

I laughed nervously. "Um, uh, do you, uh, do you want to talk to Jane?"

That snapped her out of her funk. Jane's head whipped in my direction, and she stared at me incredulously.

 _What?_ I wanted to yell. _He's related to_ you, _not_ me, _and I have no idea what we're even talking about at this point!_

Instead, I said, "She's right here," which, judging by the look in Jane's eyes, might have ensured an immediate death sentence.

But Aro only laughed. "No, no, dear, I called to talk with you. I'm sure Jane is overwhelmed with emotion right now after not hearing from me for a month! Yet another month in a long line of endless months, I might add. I do wish she'd visit more often, of course, but I completely understand her commitment to you. It's admirable. In fact –"

Aro broke away from the receiver, his tone hushed. I peeked at Jane, who still looked in the throes of a deep concentration of which I had no way of interpreting. _A little help here?_ I mouthed, but she ignored me, which I found rude.

"My sincerest apologies, Isabella dear, I –"

" _Talk to him,_ " I hissed, panic crawling up my throat. Aro made me nervous in a really uncomfortable way that was hard to explain.

"I didn't quite catch that. Isabella?" Aro prompted when I didn't respond. Mortified, I stared at Jane, waiting for her cue.

She shook her head once.

In an effort to keep my panic at bay, I did what I usually do best. Ramble.

"I'm sure the international charges won't be much, if they're anything at all. Besides, can't you just scare the bill collectors? Tell them not to charge you or you'll rip their throats out? But wait," I said, startled by a new thought, "how can they charge you? Like, do people even know you live in that stone fortress? And if they do, who do they think you are? I mean, you feed on people, right, so how do you keep yourselves secret when humans go in but never come out again?" I laughed, wincing at the shrillness. "That's so tricky, isn't it? A tricky situation. It probably takes some brilliant maneuvering, am I right?"

Finally, I ran out of breath. Jane was staring at me like she'd just seen a vampire hunter covered in garlic. Were those stereotypes? I couldn't remember which myths she'd debunked.

"Isabella, dear," Aro said slowly, as if to a frightened animal, "there's no need for you to be alarmed. This was just a courtesy call. You are well, yes?"

I swallowed, my throat clicking. "Y-yes, I'm really well. Super well, in fact."

"Yes, yes, and Jane?"

"She's…" I trailed off, distracted once again by Jane's presence. She'd placed her hand on my arm to still my shivering. "She's fine. Jane is fine, too."

"Very well. Tell her I wish she'd visit more often, will you?"

"No worries, I'll let her know," I said weakly.

"Wonderful. I do hope to see you soon, Isabella. Very soon," he added, and I couldn't help but hear a warning in his tone.

"Um, okay, y-yes," I stuttered, dying to end the call now. My quota for small talk had been met _eons_ ago, let me tell you.

"In that case, _ciao_!" Aro chirped, and abruptly hung up.

I carefully placed the phone in its cradle and inhaled deeply.

"What…the…hell."

Jane's eyebrow quirked.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM!" I yelled, my face heating.

She shrugged. "He's a nuisance."

"HE'S LIKE YOUR FATHER! _YOUR_ FATHER, NOT MINE!"

"Need I remind you, Bella, he's not related to me."

"Yes," I said haughtily, arms crossed, "I'm well aware of that, thanks. But it was clearly awkward, and I obviously had no idea what to say to this man I've met all of _one_ time. Not to mention he creeps me out!" I strode away from the counter and back into the living room. Then, to the world at large: "WHY ARE ALL THESE DEMONS TREATING ME AS A FRIEND?"

"Bella –" Jane sounded exasperated, which only added to my anger.

"Yeah, I know, neither of you are really demons, but with those big red eyes you both play pretty convincing ones!" I shook my head to get my thoughts back in order. "I have no idea why you refused to talk to him, but I'm not doing that again. I have nothing to say to him, even though he clearly had a lot to say to _me_ for some reason." I sighed, plopping down on the sofa. "Every time Aro talks to me, I get the feeling he wishes I was a vampire. Like, he wishes there was a way to turn me from across the ocean."

Jane sat down on the edge of the cushion next to me. "I apologize."

Startled, I peeked at her out of the corner of my eye. Her head was hanging, her brilliant blonde hair cascading around her face like a heavenly waterfall. I sighed again, knowing I couldn't stay mad at her. More than anything, I was just…confused.

"You don't need to apologize," I said, wrapping both my arms around her arm. I breathed in her cold scent. "I just wish you'd talked to him instead of me. Reassured him more, maybe. I got the feeling he didn't really believe me. Or he was prying and didn't like what he found out."

"That is likely the truth," she said, leaning her head against mine. "His motives are often inscrutable. Aro himself is unreadable, which is ironic and frustrating since he can see what is going on inside everyone else's minds. He is very intelligent," she added, "so do not underestimate him. He has perfected that distracted, _old-man vibe_ , as you would say."

I could feel her smile against my cheek, and so of course I had to smile too. Her smiles were contagious. "He does seem really spaced out."

"That's part of his brilliance. That façade of absentmindedness. Next time he calls –"

I snorted. " _Next time?_ We better hope not."

"Oh, there will be, no doubt about that. Aro is nothing if not persistent."

" _Wonderful_ ," I said, mimicking Aro's cheerful high-pitched voice.

"Next time he calls, give me the phone. I do not want him talking to you again, either. It was a mistake to let him this time."

I tilted my head, curious. "Oh? Why?"

She shifted a little. "The way he said your name. _Isabella_ ," she drawled, and goosebumps immediately rose on my arms.

"Well, you've got that down," I said with a nervous laugh.

"I want to keep you far away from him and all the rest," she added, brows creased. "That is why we're here in Arizona, after all. Makes it difficult for him to track us down."

"What do you mean? He clearly knows where we are."

"Of course. But Arizona is sunny." She paused (a little dramatically, I thought). "And as I said before, the sun... It draws attention to us. _Unwanted_ attention. Aro would not risk being exposed, even if it meant obtaining you in his Guard."

I shook my head, bewildered. All this stuff Jane was saying… It sounded a lot more involved than I ever imagined. These were problems I'd never known existed. I still didn't even understand what the sun did to vampires, besides make them "pretty." Whatever the hell that meant.

"He's not going to take me, not if you can help it," I said finally. Snuggling into her coolness, I leaned my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes, breathing her in. She smelled like a cool rainfall. Like ice cubes. Like safety.

"No one will ever take you away from me," Jane said, and if I wasn't mistaken, there was a growl in her voice. "They would have to kill me first."

"Which is impossible."

"Very much so," she said, and now I could hear the smile in her voice again.

We stayed like that on the couch, pressed together in the near-darkness, until Renee came home. Even then, we didn't move, not when she bypassed our shadowy figures in the living room and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Her bedroom door slammed closed a minute later. No "hello," no "how ya doing," no nothing.

But for once, I really didn't give a damn.


	11. Worst Kept Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A long chapter for y'all!**
> 
> **You’ll notice the language between the twins is rly stiff & that’s bc they’re two old farts who haven’t adapted the vernacular very well 😂**

** NOVEMBER **

If Aro came after me, I didn't know what I would do. Disappear quickly? That was really the only thing I _could_ do to keep myself alive. I wasn't strong, and I couldn't hypnotize people with my beauty – quite the opposite, in fact – so I was left with the one aspect that made me special.

"You're special in other ways," Jane said with a scowl. She hated when I talked down about myself, and she especially hated when I brought up the same issue five times in one day. Three times was plenty. Four was stretching it. Five? Forget about it. That was asking too much of Jane's patience.

I sighed. "Yeah, yeah, like how I can color a page in my nature coloring book in under twenty minutes? Or maybe cook three breakfast biscuits in the microwave at once even though the instructions clearly state that they should be cooked one at a time? Totally forgot about those very important abilities." My eyes wanted to roll, but I commanded them to stay still.

"Bella, we have been over this…I do not even know how many times. A dozen? Two or possibly three?" Jane's eyes narrowed. She knew that, in the weeks since Aro's phone call, I had brought it up three dozen times _at the very least_. She was being generous with her estimation.

"Well, my helplessness is still relevant. How can I protect myself when you're not around?"

"That _question_ is _ir_ relevant," she said firmly. "I am never further than a hundred yards from you, Bella."

"Except when I'm at school."

She dipped her head in acknowledgement. "A half mile, then."

Now it was my turn to scowl. "You're not taking this seriously."

Jane placed her hands on my shoulders and gently maneuvered me so that I faced her head-on rather than the empty stretch of road on the opposite side of my glass front door. "Maybe," she said softly, "you are perhaps letting Aro's non-threat get to your head."

I shook my head viciously. "No, no I'm not. You don't get it because you're a vampire too. You have that pain ability, so you don't have anything to fear from him. I'm _human_ ," I stressed, desperate for her understanding. "I'm weak, even by normal standards. I'm not even very smart or anything. I have nothing going for me, Jane!"

Her eyes softened, and the deep red color seemed to become lighter, so that I could see my reflection in them. Lately, her eyes had been darkening so that they resembled black marbles. Or maybe that was just me. Who could tell anymore?

" _Mio dolce_ , of course I have something to fear from Aro. The most important thing. You," she said, her eyes swimming with an indecipherable emotion. "If something happens to you – if Aro hurts you, or sends someone else in the Guard to do you harm…" She paused, and her mouth thinned into a hard line. "No one on this planet would stop me from hunting him down. The horrors I would inflict upon him… Unmentionable."

I swallowed, unnerved by the vicious glint in her eyes and the coldness of her tone. I didn't think she'd ever talked this way in front of me before. The uneasiness I felt in my stomach…that was new too.

"I believe you," I said, placing my hands over hers where they gripped my shoulders. "I would expect nothing less, actually." A thin smile graced her lips, which encouraged me. "It's just that…I don't know, I'd feel better if I could do something to guarantee my own survival, you know? It'd put me a little more at ease, I guess."

Jane's mouth twisted, as if she was considering. Finally, she nodded. "You are wrong about a lot of things, Bella, especially things that concern yourself, but about your teleportation ability being your one trump card… Well, you are right."

I tossed my head back. "Finally, she admits it!"

She smiled again, a little broader this time. "If you are so set on this course, then why don't we practice?"

I frowned, noting the arrival of my school bus out of the corner of my eye. "Practice? Please tell me this will be fun and not, like, some sort of tedious studying. I do enough of that for school," I muttered, even though that wasn't technically true. I _avoided_ tedious studying, but hey, effort was still being expended.

"Nothing so useless," she said, and I smiled because she was so _obviously_ my soulmate.

"Well, what did you have in mind?" I said, pecking her quickly on the cheek and moving aside her hands so I could race out the door in time to meet the bus. But that didn't exactly go as planned.

Jane's grip only tightened, and that was enough to keep me in place. Slightly panicked, I glanced over at the school bus, which honked once after waiting a few seconds, and then proceeded down the street once I failed to appear.

"Jane!" I said, my voice high and bewildered. "I thought you were all for greater education!"

"Relax, what I have in mind is much more exciting. And," she added, tilting her head, "I never advocated for greater education." She shook her head, exasperated. "Sometimes I wonder where you get these ideas."

I shrugged. "They just come to me."

"Well then. Shall we?" Jane cocked her elbow my way, and I reached out tentatively.

"I'm not sure how I should be feeling right now," I said, tightening my grip on her arm. "Are we about to do something illegal?" Not sure why I got that feeling, but Jane inspired moments of pure rebellion. Maybe because she was a vampire and could get away with shit that us lesser beings would never dream of. Sometimes her sense of "nothing-can-stop-me" rubbed off on me.

" _We_ are not doing something illegal, Bella. _You_ are about to bring us on a daring – albeit informational – journey."

My stomach sank. _Informational?_ I didn't like that sound of that. What could she mean? "And that is?"

She smiled victoriously, and my heart momentarily ceased beating. "You are going to teleport us around Whittleston."

I could barely breathe through my excitement. Not because I was going to teleport, and not even because she was giving me permission to teleport (I still really wasn't sure if there were any rules for this sort of thing), but because _she was going to come with me._

"The both of us?" I asked, eyes widening.

She nodded and poked me with her pointy elbow. "Lead the way."

Swallowing down my excitement, I closed my eyes, centered myself, and pulled up an image of the girl's bathroom on the first floor of the high school. And –

"Here we are," I said, wrinkling my nose at the mixture of floral perfume and stale pee. In hindsight, I guess I could've chosen a more pleasant atmosphere…

Jane made a thoughtful humming noise in the back of her throat. "Well, this is a bit anticlimactic, if I do so declare."

"You may," I said with a grin, and extricated myself from her grip so I could throw my arms wide. My knuckles skimmed the nearest stall door. "Welcome to Richardson High School, home of the walrus!"

"Walrus?" She squinted at me quizzically.

"It's our mascot," I said with a big eye roll. We were so far from any ocean or big body of water, it was almost funny. Almost. Because if I ever came face-to-face with an _actual_ walrus, I would probably faint right on the spot. I was all for saving the animals, but walruses are pretty unsightly creatures.

"Mascot," she repeated. "You chose an overweight sea animal to represent your institution of higher learning?"

I placed an affronted hand on my chest. "How _dare_ you – Winifred the Walrus is not _fat_. He's just…delightfully fluffy. Besides, it wasn't my decision."

Jane's bemused expression remained, but she wisely chose to leave the topic alone. (No guarantee she wouldn't return to it later, though. The girl loved to argue, especially when she knew she could win.)

"Anyway," I said, and grabbed her hand, "let me give you a tour. It's not the most exciting place in the world, but…" Yanking her into the hallway, I stopped for a moment and let Jane soak it all in. First period would start in less than ten minutes, and the hallways were packed. Boys and girls wearing backpacks of varying colors flitted by, their focus on their next destination. They parted around us in waves, not even casting a curious glance Jane's way.

"So these are your people," she said softly.

My forehead creased as I frowned. "Well, in a way, I guess you could say that. But in another way…they're most definitely _not_ my people. Whatever that even means," I muttered, wondering if I should be offended.

" _Your people_ as in humans your own age," Jane clarified, squeezing my hand. "They look so…timid."

It was true. Hunched shoulders and downcast eyes were the norm. Everyone just wanted to get where they were going without any hassle. I knew what that was like. If I didn't have Jane by my side, I would be one of those girls with her hair hanging in her face, eyes rooted to the ugly lemon floor as I mechanically worked my way to a classroom. From an outside perspective, it was a little sad. _Do I look that sad?_ I wondered, watching a girl in the year below me stumble around groups of students, her expression one notch above complete despair.

I cleared my throat and tugged on Jane's hand so she'd face me. The one bright spot in all of this doom and gloom, Jane tilted her head to the side – her way of relaying her attention and curiosity. Her floor-sweeping black cloak stood out, and not just because of the ancient red symbols embroidered along the hem. The temperature was already at an abnormal eighty-five degrees, absurdly high even for Arizona in November, and it wasn't even nine in the morning. Her bright blonde hair shone as if a halo hovered above her head, and the paleness of her skin stood out like a beacon amidst the sun-tanned hordes of native Arizonians. When she smiled, her dark eyes lit up in swirls of raspberry mousse. (Or maybe that was just my stomach talking. On second thought, yeah, that was probably it.)

"This is where you spend seven hours of your day," she said – more a statement than a question.

"Unfortunately. I'd be anywhere else if I could."

" _Any_ where?" Jane asked, and if I didn't know any better I could've sworn there was a mischievous glint in the depths of her eyes.

I opened my mouth to confirm this when a shout rang down the hallway, startling me.

"Bella!" From the crowd emerged a sun-tanned guy my own age with wind-swept blonde hair and icy blue eyes. He was grinning broadly, and his massive hands were locked around a tiny Jansport backpack. It was bright pink.

Some of the tension drained from my body. This was someone I could handle.

"Hi, Mike," I said, and abruptly turned towards Jane, who was staring at the hulking guy before me, eyes narrowed. "Jane, this is Mike Newton. His dad owns that sweet corn field down the road from me." Not that this would mean anything to her, but still. I couldn't remember if I'd mentioned that Gerry Newton's field was one of the places I'd landed in after getting struck by lightning at the beginning of summer.

Jane nodded slowly, eyes still squinty and suspicious.

"Nice to meet ya, Jane. You're in good company," Mike added, grinning again. The white shine of his teeth nearly blinded me. I had to put up a hand to deflect the glare.

"Jane?" Eyes raised, I reached out a hand for her. She didn't hesitate in placing her dainty fingers between mine, although her tread was slow and thoughtful. What was going on in that head of hers?

"Is she your cousin or something?" Mike asked, eyes on my face. He shifted his stance a little, and the hem of his green t-shirt rode up, exposing a sliver of tanned hip. It did nothing for me, but judging by the doe-eyed looks girls were throwing at him from both sides of the hallway, I figured it may be doing a little _too_ much for them.

"Umm…" _Think, damnit!_ I scolded myself. "N-no, she's a friend. Who's visiting. From Europe."

Mike's eyebrow popped up. "Europe, huh? That's quite a far journey, young lady."

 _Is he flirting with Jane?_ I wondered, astonished. I was equally parts fascinated to see her reaction and nervous that she would bite his head off right there in the middle of the first-floor hallway. Stranger things had happened.

Jane didn't nod or smile or react in any way except to say, "Not so far to some."

Mike obviously didn't know what to make of that, and so he turned back to me. "Say, Bella, a few of us are going up to Mount Pass after school today. There'll be food and…beverages. Like a picnic. You interested?" He shifted a little again, and I noticed offhandedly that he was very close to me now. I had to crane my neck a little in order to meet his eyes.

I glanced at Jane, who was now staring at me like she'd never truly seen me before. Confused by her expression, I said to Mike, "Oh, well, I'm sorry, but I promised Jane I'd show her around town. You know, before she leaves for Europe." Then I added, "Have fun though!" because that was the polite thing to do, right?

Then I even _smiled_ politely, and Mike's own smile turned into a full-on toothy grin, like he was responding to me. On second thought… _Is he flirting with_ me _now?_ Horrified, I cast a panicked look at Jane. _Is he flirting with_ both _of us?_

"Well, that's disappointing," Mike said, although he didn't look it. "Maybe next time, huh?" He reached out, and one of his fingers lightly skimmed my shoulder.

Immediately, heat rushed into my cheeks. "Oh, uh, um – I –"

Jane's hand was suddenly wrapped around Mike's wrist, and she was bending it at an unnatural angle. Mike's face paled so quickly it was like he'd been dunked in a barrel of ice-cold water. He tried to pull back, but Jane wasn't having it. She smiled, but it was all teeth.

"Keep your hands off Bella," she said in her sweet, lilting voice. "Or next time I will not hesitate to bend this bone so far it breaks."

She released him after a tense silence, and only when I placed a warning hand on her chest. Mike took a small step back, baby blues wide and hurt, and then pivoted on his heel and took off down the bustling hallway without glancing back. His body was rigid, but his shoulders were hunched, as if he expected a blow to come from behind.

I turned my body into Jane's, keeping my hand flat on her chest, over her heart. "Jane, that was kinda unnecessary, don't you think?" It had also been kind of hot, but I thought it inappropriate to mention now.

"He wanted to touch you," she said flatly, "and I do not allow strangers to touch my soulmate. Not intimately."

I bit back a sharp sigh. "It was innocent. We were friends when we were toddlers, but over the years we've fallen out of touch. He's tried to include me in a few activities this year." I glanced over my shoulder, in the direction where Mike had disappeared. "I think he misses our friendship."

"Oh, he misses a lot more than just that," Jane said through gritted teeth.

"I don't understand," I said, frustrated by her sudden anger.

Jane licked her lips, and although I wanted to be sidetracked by that seductive little movement, I forced my attention on the problem at hand.

"As soon as he approached you, his heart rate became elevated," she said dryly. "I could smell his pheromones because they exploded from him like gunpowder. And let us just say…" She glanced down at where my jean shorts were buttoned. "There was a noticeable hardness between his legs."

I stumbled back a step, not sure what to feel. "Are you saying…Mike Newton _likes_ me?"

"More than that, Bella. He wants to take you up against a wall."

My face exploded with heat. " _Jane!_ " I hissed loudly, yanking her into an alcove off the hallway. My movements were jerky and awkward, and my body was flaming.

"What?" she asked, blinking. "That's what was in his mind. Or that's what his expression conveyed. It wasn't deeply hidden," she added with a raised eyebrow.

"How do you… Who taught you…" At a loss for words, I merely stared at my soulmate for a long moment, utterly flabbergasted. Finally, I demanded, " _How do you know those words?_ "

"What do you mean?" She seemed genuinely confused.

My eyes darted around the hallway, making sure nobody was close enough to overhear. "I _mean_ , Jane Volturi of the Volturi vampire coven doesn't just go around saying things like _he wants to take you up against a wall,_ for Pete's sake!" I breathed in deeply, trying to get ahold of myself. I was experiencing so many emotions at once that I was getting a little dizzy.

Jane shrugged. "There's not much to do while you are at school. Usually I flick through the channels on your television until something catches my eye."

"Is that _something_ a reality TV show? A really dramatic, slutty reality TV show? Because that's what it sounds like." It also sounded like a program Renee would record on the DVR.

"I am not sure," she said, still indifferent. "Bella, everything is okay. I know you don't return his feelings, and there is no way he will act on his impulses now. They will just stay daydreams."

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. "He _daydreams_ that kind of stuff?"

"Taking you up against a wall?" she asked mildly, and I cringed. "Yes. Well, that and other things. His version of you is very flexible," she added with a snort.

"Are you saying I'm not?" Frankly, I wasn't sure if I should be offended or deeply disgusted by this information. I would forever see Mike Newton in a new light. "And how do you know all this?"

A graceful shrug. "His face says plainly what his words will not."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose in hopes of keeping a rising headache at bay. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring you here."

Jane frowned at a group of freshman girls who were fixing their push-up bras in an attempt to make their budding breasts perkier. "Maybe not."

"So now what?" I asked, throwing my hands in the air. My left hand narrowly avoided slamming into the large nose of a junior boy with shaggy brown hair.

"Watch it," he snapped.

"Watch _yourself_ ," I called after him, then sagged against a row of lockers. The loud ringing of the first period bell sounded down the hallways, scattering the few remaining groups of students.

"Take me somewhere else," Jane said, coming to a stop directly in front of me. She placed her forearms on my shoulders and leaned in so close our foreheads touched. "Take me away from here."

"You want me to ditch school?" This was new.

She smiled, and my eyes were drawn down at the motion. If I shifted just a little, I could press my lips to hers…

"Just this once," she said, innocently pressing her hips into mine.

I sucked in a breath. "Don't have to ask me twice." Wrapping my arms around her waist, I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to hers. She tasted like cinnamon ice cubes – my favorite flavor.

When we parted, we were somewhere else.

"As you requested," I told her breathlessly, keeping my arms locked around her.

Jane studied the giant monument before us. "What is that?" she asked, eyeing the carved marble.

"The Lincoln Memorial," I said, smiling wide. "We're in Washington, D.C!"

She seemed impressed. "But you've never visited before, have you?"

"Nope!" Extremely pleased with myself, I stepped away from her and bowed. "Hold your applause, please."

She swatted halfheartedly at my arm, and I made sure to avoid it (she really was startlingly unaware of her own strength). "You really must be getting more confident if you can teleport us here so accurately."

"Well, I've been working really hard at it," I said, trying in vain to hold back my blush. Praise from Jane wasn't exactly rare (at least, not to me), but it usually was added as an afterthought or tacked on to the end of a subtle (but well-meaning) insult.

She smiled and grabbed my face between her hands, then planted a kiss on my forehead. "This is wonderful, Bella, truly. You've come so far."

My grin was so wide my cheeks hurt from the strain. "I figured this might as well be the one thing I'm an expert in. Not many people can say they're qualified in The Very Advanced Art of Teleportation."

"Oh, is that what you call it?" she asked teasingly, running her hands over the marble of the presidential monument. "This man…he's quite large, even for a human, yes?"

I shrugged, glancing up to Lincoln's face. "I guess so. I mean, besides the obvious size of the monument, which is _supposed_ to be enormous, Abe was a pretty tall guy. Like, over six feet." I paused thoughtfully. "He must've been real clumsy though. Super tall people always are. That, and awkward."

"How would _you_ know, Miss Five Foot Four?"

"That's not considered short, you know!" I told her, hands on hips. "And you're one to talk. You're child-sized!"

"We're the same height, Bella!" Jane shook her head and let out a soft laugh.

"I mean in terms of stature!" I said. Sometimes it was like she misunderstood on purpose, I swear. "You're so dainty and wide-eyed. It's a little alarming."

"No one would ever mistake me for innocent," she said with a smirk. "My eyes aren't wide-eyed, either. They'd best be described as _alert_."

"Whatever you say."

She shrugged and resumed her inspection of the forty-foot columns surrounding the memorial.

I harrumphed, folding my arms across my chest. "You're in an argumentative mood today. And here I thought you'd be thankful to journey the world with me. Guess I was wrong," I said with a sigh.

Jane, laughter etched in every line of her face, pulled me to her and kissed me soundly on the lips. "Guess so."

We stood there, lips on lips and hands on hips, for a good long while, blocking out the sounds of traffic, loud voices, and the whistle of a nearby train. It was like being in our own little world, like we were surrounded by an air bubble of peace that prevented anyone or anything from disturbing us. For a moment, I wished we could stay right here, just like this, forever.

Jane broke contact first and gestured to the sky. "Good thing it's cloudy today."

"Why, because you'd burst into flames or something?" I was dead-serious too.

"That's another stereotype, Bella," she said flatly.

"Fine. Into stardust then. _What_ ," I demanded when she closed her eyes. "That's more likely than spontaneous combustion, don't you think?"

"Except my demise would not be spontaneous if the sun caused it," she said, and I blinked at this logic. Where was my brain today? It must've been the combination of stifling gasoline fumes and Jane's lingering kisses that muddled my thoughts.

"Oh, true," I mumbled instead.

"Come," Jane said, holding out her hand to me. I grabbed it like a lifeline.

"Where are we going?" The sky was definitely overcast, and I was a little worried it might start to downpour at any moment. Then again, that shouldn't have been much of a concern – I could teleport the two of us out of here in a split-second.

"On a tour around the city, of course." Jane placed my hand in the crook of her elbow again, and we strode down the many marble steps that led up to the Lincoln Memorial.

"Well, of course," I said with an eye-roll. "I should've known." With a shake of my head, I said seriously, "But we don't know anything about this city. I live hundreds of miles away in a small town. And you…" I trailed off as a new thought struck me. "Wait. Do _you_ know something about D.C?"

She smiled mysteriously. "Let us just say I was alive long before this city was even a thought in the minds of your forefathers."

"Oh. Sometimes I forget that, you know. It's a good thing you're still around to remind me."

Our smiles were twin suns.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We visited the National World War II Memorial ("The War to End All Wars was really nothing compared to the Mongol Conquests," Jane whispered to me knowingly), the White House lawn ("I'm afraid we'll have to pass on a house tour," Jane said. "They've been looking for me since the Cleveland era."), and the Smithsonian ("I remember when the Guard would bring these animals back to Volterra for Aro's amusement," Jane said about the skeleton of an extinct bird species). Our unofficial tour of Washington D.C. took up most of our morning, and by the time we left the Smithsonian I was flagging.

"I guess I'm really out of shape," I huffed at one point, dragging my legs up a small flight of stairs outside the Pentagon.

Just after noon, I closed my eyes and scrunched up my face, then pulled back from Jane and took a seat at an empty table in a tiny air-conditioned restaurant.

"What's this?" Jane asked, eyebrows raised as she surveyed the room.

"A sushi bar," I said, scanning the dense menu. "Somewhere in Tribeca." At her curious look, I said, "I'm hungry, and I've never tried sushi before."

"You are not missing out on much," Jane said under her breath, but she sat down beside me with a relieved sigh.

"I thought vampires didn't get tired," I said with a suspicious glance at her face. The only man working behind the counter came over and took our (well, _my_ ) orders.

"I am never tired," she said when the man was out of earshot. "But the heat…well, it is best if I am not exposed to heat for long periods."

"Why's that?"

She peered at me out of her corner of her eye. "Smells carry better in the heat."

I understood at once. "Oh. Are you…" One quick glance around the restaurant told me we were the only customers. "Are you hungry, too? Like, really, actually hungry?"

She shrugged, but I could see the thirstiness in her eyes. Speaking of…

I gasped. "Is that why your eyes are so dark all the time? They started out red, but when you get hungry, do they…?" _Turn black_ , is what I wanted to say, but our waiter returned with our meals, and I had to clamp my mouth shut to keep the words in.

She nodded tensely. "Yes, they lose their color when I go too long without feeding."

"Jane," I said softly, placing a hand over hers on the tabletop, "why didn't you say anything? I could've transported us somewhere deserted, like another forest or something, and you could've…hunted or whatever." The thought of Jane hunting-and-gathering still made me a little uncomfortable, but it was almost negated by the fantasy of her stalking through the woods with the gait of a predator. Sexy personified.

"We were enjoying our day together," she said with uncharacteristic tenderness. Her dark eyes found mine, and I realized then they were black all the way through. "We do not get to spend much time together outside of your house, and I wanted to be with you, uninterrupted, for as long as possible."

I sighed, irritated. "Well, as soon as we're done here, I'm taking you somewhere isolated so you can eat." Around a mouthful of California sushi roll, I added, "I swear, Jane, sometimes I wonder about you. Use your words! That's why they exist!"

We ate in relative silence for the rest of our lunch, but not because either of us was pissed. I was beyond hungry, and I could tell Jane was trying to keep her rising hunger at bay too. I hoped she would be successful for at least the next ten minutes while I found somewhere to take her.

Once outside of the sushi restaurant, in a deserted alley, I clasped our hands together.

"What about the Forest of Dupree?" I asked, and a second later we were standing amidst flowers and dirt, the tree canopy overhead shielding us from the sun's rays.

"No," she said quickly, her grip tightening, "not here. It is not safe. Alec already knows about it. Try again."

I frowned, then brought us to the shores of Lake Michigan. "Oh, wait," I said after a thoughtful glance around. "This won't work, will it?"

We were standing on a beach, and although there was no one around for at least a mile, there was no cover. Jane couldn't hunt without the possibility of someone seeing us.

"Do you expect me to dive in and out of the water like one of those seagulls?" she asked with mild amusement.

"I guess not. Although," I added, once I'd transported us to a new place, "that would be a funny sight, if I do say –"

" _Not here!_ " Jane interrupted loudly, and it took me only a second to realize why. The sun was beating down on my head like a laser beam. An eye-blink later and we were in the mountains, chilly air brushing along our skin like a lingering caress. Or whatever. (I wasn't romantic, okay? That shit was Jane's forte.)

"I am sorry, Bella," she said after a breathless pause. She hugged me tightly to her. "The sun… It was too much."

"I know, I'm sorry too," I said into her hair. It smelled like oranges. "I wasn't thinking straight. I should've been concentrating harder on bringing you places where you could be safe."

"It is okay," she murmured, then pulled back to look me in the eye. "It is okay."

I nodded, although guilt sat heavily in my chest.

"But…this could work," she added, eyeing the mountain. We were on a side road that was coated with ice. The second Jane moved away to investigate the area, goosebumps prickled my arms. It was freezing up here! Like, _twenty degrees_ freezing!

But I was going to keep my mouth shut even if it killed me (which it really might). It'd taken us four tries to get here, and Jane was going to hunt before she did something drastic, or my name wasn't Bella Swan.

Clamping my teeth together so that they stopped chattering, I wrapped my arms around myself and stood back while Jane surveyed the area. I couldn't really see anything from my vantage point – there was a lot of fog and…were those clouds? No wonder it was so cold. I'd teleported us right in the middle of a giant fucking icicle. Go figure.

"Find anything?" I called, but my voice was immediately snatched away by the wind. Alarmed, I crouched down, hugging myself tighter.

Luckily for me, Jane had extrasensory abilities, and she nodded her head. I could tell her focus was elsewhere, though. Her body had gone very still, and if she'd been a dog, her ears would've been perked up attentively. Of course, if she really had been a domesticated animal, we probably wouldn't be here right now. (I say _probably_ because you could never know for sure.)

I crouched for an eternity, except that when I managed to pull out my emergency Nokia, the display told me only three minutes had elapsed. I was seriously starting to worry how long I could outlast the cold when Jane appeared at my side. I looked up into her face and saw a single dot of blood on her lower lip.

I gasped, and an icicle of cold air slid down my throat. "What did you find?" I asked around my coughing.

Jane's eyes – a brighter red than I'd seen in weeks – scoured the mountain landscape. "A coyote and a small badger, but it was hardly satisfying." Her tongue flicked out and lapped up the spot of blood on her face. "We must leave. It is too cold here for you. I did not realize…" Her gaze shifted over me, from my tense body and scrunched up face to my chattering teeth and goose-bumped skin. She looked devastated.

"J-J-Jane," I stuttered, reaching for her. "It's okay. You haven't been human for a while."

"That is no excuse," she whispered viciously, and enfolded me into her embrace. Her body was rock solid where mine was a shivering mess, and the faint scent of blood surrounded her. For once, I found her body temperature _not_ the coldest thing in the area.

"Take us somewhere warm," she whispered into my ear, tickling the baby hairs on my head. I shivered again, but this time it wasn't from cold.

"Are you sure?" Her eyes were red now, true, but there was still far too much black in them. "You're still hungry."

"Bella, please," she whispered urgently, mouth tightening. I could hear the worry in her voice.

So I rested my cheek against her shoulder and closed my eyes.

When I opened them, the world was alive with so many colors I thought my retinas would burst from sensory overload. There were deep yellows, reds, oranges, and green…there was so much green! Forest green and olive green and lime green and of course grass green. I hadn't ever realized how extensive my color vocabulary was until just now. Trees stretched in uniform rows for miles, and all I could smell was flowers and earth and a very faint smell like fruit.

"Where are we?" I gasped, not even knowing where I'd teleported the two of us. Was that dangerous of me? Talk about reckless driving.

With a lingering look around, Jane said, "Sonoma, California." After another pause, she added, "This will work."

I pulled my attention away from the rich green of the grass. "What?"

Jane flung out a graceful hand. "This is one of the famed vineyards in Sonoma. It is the perfect location for you."

"I'm – what do you mean?" I asked, confused. Did she expect me to live here now? Among the trees? She wouldn't get much resistance from me, but I was pretty sure it was sunny here like, _all the time_. Which meant she couldn't live with me. I wouldn't even _entertain_ the thought, thank you very much.

"This is an emergency measure in case Aro ever decides he desires you more than he fears me," she said. "If he tries to hurt you or sends a Guard to capture and deliver you to Volterra, this is a place you can come to escape. As long as he does not touch you, Bella, you may teleport here."

I swallowed. "But…where will _you_ be? I thought you said I'd never have to worry while you're around."

Her smile was soft and yet weary too. "It never hurts to be prepared, either. I do not want to risk anything happening to you. Not even in theory."

I nodded, even though I wasn't all that happy. "Okay. If you think it's smart."

"Since this will be our rendezvous point, I think it would be best if we –" And here she stopped. I startled because, like, was this one of those times when I had to continue her sentence so we could keep up the illusion that we could read each other's minds? Nobody was around, so I didn't think it was a huge deal that I didn't immediately pick up where Jane had left off, but still. The last thing I wanted was for her to be disappointed.

Then I realized her nostrils were flared, which meant she was scenting something. Or someone.

Uh-oh. I sucked in a breath to ask her what the deal was, but before I could say anything, she had grabbed me in her arms and yanked me into the shadows. We'd gone two hundred yards in two milliseconds. Or maybe it was two nanoseconds? Which one was faster?!

I desperately wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she clearly didn't want me to speak. So instead I widened my eyes and tried to look inquiring.

Her whisper was barely even a breath. "Alec is here."

My heart immediately started racing, and for a split-second I thought I might actually be sick all over the cute baby grapes.

 _How?_ I mouthed, but she just shook her head, gesturing for me to be quiet. I blinked and she was gone.

I had to restrain myself from peering between a row of trees because I knew that any movement at all would alert Alec. Jane had told me – in one of our many Vampire 101 sessions – that her kind could hear, see, and smell someone from more than a mile away. Because I didn't want to be Alec's mid-afternoon snack, I stayed still and waited for Jane to get me out of this alive.

"Alec," she called. "What brings you here?"

"I could ask you the same question," he replied, and although his voice was naturally lower than his sister's I could still hear him, which meant he didn't suspect anyone else was nearby. If he had, no way would he be speaking so loudly. "Sonoma is not a place for our kind."

"I am passing through," she said smoothly, and didn't elaborate. I really needed to take a page out of her book.

"Jane," Alec said, and there was something in his voice that made my chest seize up. It sounded like a warning, or maybe like he was provoking her. I had no idea, honestly. But it didn't sound right.

"How did you find me?" my soulmate asked. "And why?"

Alec sighed. "It was not hard. You know that the Volturi worries about you when –"

"Does Aro have you tracking my movements?" I wasn't sure about Alec, but I'd become attuned to the slight variations in Jane's voice, and I could hear the worry in it now. Surely, if they were twins, Alec could hear it too.

"No," he said firmly. But there was more to it than that, I suspected. "Aro did not send me, nor has he been watching you. _However_ ," he said, and there it was again, that warning tone, "Aro has become worried."

"Aro knows I am more than capable of taking care of myself," Jane said stiffly.

"Aro _also_ knows that it is common of you to make frequent visits home. Why, then, has this extended stay of yours kept you from Volterra?"

There was a pause, and in it was the obvious answer. "Because of Bella. Brother, you know this. So why do you ask?" Jane sounded confused.

Alec sighed again. (For an undead creature, he sure did like to breathe noisily.) "It has been three months since your last visit, Jane, and you have not sent word since Aro's phone call. That is not like you. Even though Bella is human, you could still visit for a few hours. And if you are really so unwilling to be parted from her, you could always bring the girl along." To me, it sounded as if Alec thought it was an awful idea but that it needed to be said anyway.

"I have waited centuries for _this girl_ ," Jane said, and I could hear the steel in her voice. "Three months is not nearly enough time to know anything about her or her life. You do not have a soulmate, so you do not understand the terror that plagues me when I am parted from her. Even when she is just attending her school down the road, I feel like my body is on fire. I cannot concentrate on any other task until she has returned to me, safe and whole." Now Jane pulled in a long, steadying breath. "So please, explain to me why returning to Volterra – a pointless excursion, really – is so necessary to you and Aro when the two of you know perfectly well that I am safe and, for once, happy."

I had to forcibly stop myself from jumping up and down or swooning all over the goddamned place. Jane was _happy_? Was she saying what I thought she was saying – that _I_ was responsible for making her happy? And that part about being on fire… I had no idea that she felt that way when I was gone. I just assumed she sat at home for seven hours, watching the reality TV shows Renee religiously DVR'd.

"Jane," Alec said, and there was impatience in his voice now, "there is no need to get upset. You are right. I do not have a soulmate, nor do I think there is one out there for me. But let me make this clear, if I haven't already – you are expected to check in with Aro or someone else from the Guard every so often. You have done so in the past, so I never thought it needed to be spelled out for you."

"Why doesn't Aro call me on the phone like he did last month? Is it truly necessary for me to arrive in person?" Jane sounded confused and more than a little worried now.

" _Aro wants to see you in person, Jane._ No exceptions." Alec's voice brooked no arguments, and I found it hard to imagine frumpy, spaced-out Aro giving these stern commands.

Instead of agreeing – which even I knew at this point to be our best bet – Jane snarled. The sound was purely animal, and the hairs along the back of my neck and arms shot straight up. "You cannot dictate my life, Alec, and neither can Aro. I am nearly as ancient as our three Masters, and I have been free to do as I please for centuries, despite your claim that I've always _known better_ ," she snapped. "Is Aro upset that he is no longer my first priority? My allegiances have not shifted, but tell him that it would be extremely unwise of him to interfere with my life here with Bella."

"Is that a threat?" Alec asked. He didn't sound mad though. It was more like he was genuinely surprised and maybe even a little hurt.

"If you wish it to be," Jane said.

There was a long, pregnant pause. It seemed to last for days. I'm sure to them it felt more like minutes, but Christ, not everyone can be a vampire!

"Why are you resisting?" Alec said finally. This time there was definitely something in his voice, and it was a whole lot worse than anger. It was suspicion. "Is there something you are not telling us?"

"I am not resisting, Alec, and if it seems like I am, it is only because I am tired of the newborn treatment. Your unannounced… _visit_ here today tells me that I am still being babysat."

But here's the thing. Jane _was_ resisting. It was obvious to me, and so it must've been pretty obvious to her twin too. He knew her a helluva lot better and for a helluva lot longer than I had, so to him it was probably like she had SECRET stamped in black on her forehead.

A sudden thought struck me. Was I Jane's worst kept secret? Was the suspicion on Alec's face because he knew something about me was amiss? It had to be. Nothing else made sense. Jane had acted normally for decades, and then all of a sudden I arrive on the scene and she starts acting weird? That's not a coincidence.

"If there is, you must tell me now," Alec said urgently. "Please, Jane. If there is anything at all that you are keeping from Aro, you must know that it will come to light eventually." His unspoken words rang through me, an echo of Jane's earlier warning: _All Aro has to do is touch you._

"I am not keeping anything from you, Alec. You must believe me." And even though she sounded firm, I could still hear the wavering plea underneath. She was hoping he'd drop the whole thing and move on. I mean, I wanted the same thing, of course. But unlike her, I had no hope that he would.

"I would like to believe you, sister, I truly would," he said, "but if you are telling the truth, then would you also please explain to me why you are here?"

I frowned, confused, and Jane spoke my own thoughts aloud. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Alec continued, in a tone that said _Oh, sweetie, I've got you now_ , "you said earlier that it physically pained you to be separated from Bella. Why are you here in Sonoma rather than by Bella's side? It is far too sunny a place for you, my Jane."

Never mind that Arizona was far too sunny a place for Jane to live, too. That didn't matter. He was taunting her because he'd caught her in a lie. Alec knew it, I knew it, and Jane had to know it, too. I couldn't suddenly announce my presence either because A) Jane would kill me, and B) it would be awfully suspicious. I mean, why would Jane bring me here? Like he said, it was way too sunny for vampirekind. Jane wouldn't normally risk that sort of exposure. So why would the two of us be here? And, more importantly, how had the two of us gotten here? Jane could run fast, I was sure, but not such a long distance, especially with me tagging along. Every scenario I thought through wasn't good enough. I couldn't expose myself without further igniting Alec's suspicions. Shit, I thought, silently berating myself. _Shit, fuck, shit! Shitfuck!_

The silence was stretching way too long. _Say something,_ I shouted silently at Jane. _Anything!_

"Despite what you may think you know, Bella is not very far from here," Jane said finally, and there was none of the lingering affection her tone usually held when talking to her twin. She was stiff and cold and so far removed from this conversation it was like she was on another planet.

"Oh?" Alec sounded skeptical, but he must've taken Jane's word for it because he lowered his voice and I could no longer hear their conversation. There were a few more minutes of a tense, murmured exchange, and then silence.

My heart was already in my throat, so when Jane suddenly appeared before me, I screamed.

Jane immediately took my shaking body into her arms, but not before I saw the bland expression on her face. She was not just wary – she was outright concerned. And for her to show such emotion meant that I should be six-levels deep in a panic attack right now.

"It is okay," she murmured into my hair. Her slim hands wrapped around me and lay flat against my back, drawing me tight against her body. Almost _too_ tight. "We can figure this out. Everything will be okay, but we must go home now."

I nodded, still shaking, and inhaled the strange orange scent of her hair again and again, hoping it might soothe me. With my panic held not so very far away, I closed my eyes for the last time.


	12. The Mistress Of All Agonies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **another long chap :)**

** Jane's POV **

Bella returned us to her home in Whittleston upon my request, but no sooner had we walked through the back door than I realized – we must have a conversation _now_ , but we could not have it here. Besides the risk of too many unknown eyes and ears, there was also the fact that Bella would not like what I had to say, and I did not want her to be reminded of such unpleasantness every time she walked the halls here.

"Please," I whispered in her ear, her warm vanilla scent wafting over me, "take us elsewhere. Just for a short while. There is something I must ask of you."

I could not see Bella's face, but I knew instinctively that the _please_ was what convinced her. I never begged without reason, and I especially did not do so if it was not of the utmost importance. I could feel her body shaking in my arms, and the knowledge of her fright burned me. I detested being the source of her terror. We were supposed to be better than that.

When we arrived in Seattle, Washington, the sky was gloomy and the air was brisk. I frequently needed to be reminded that it was mid-November, for the temperature did not affect me and I often forgot how to dress. Bella lamented several times this past summer in Arizona that my black cloak drew too much attention to us, but that was one garment I would not take off. I was still loyal to the Volturi, despite their attempts to undermine me.

Bella carefully took a seat on a large boulder. She had teleported us to a park local to the area, and as the temperature was just below freezing, the place was deserted. Thankfully. I feared this conversation would result in quite a scene, and I did not desire an audience.

"Is this okay?" Bella asked, her eyes wide and imploring.

I nodded. "Yes, and we will not be here long, so don't worry." 

For a brief moment I stood staring at her, this young girl who was to be my forever mate. She was pale and small and so unbearably human it took my breath away. Not that I had any breath left to give, but when I was near Bella she convinced me that I was still human, still worthy of love and compassion and life. Just now, with her bright green eyes that shone luminously in the evening, and her brown hair that fell just so around her oval face, while she huddled in a winter coat I had grabbed just before she transported us to this new place… I feared my love would burst from me and smother her. Sometimes this was my greatest fear, that my emotions, heightened as they were, would be too much for her fragile human heart. Other times I worried I would crush some part of her – her fingers while we held hands, her spine when I hugged her tightly to me – and break her so thoroughly her pieces would never fit back together.

Without preamble, I said, "I am sorry to say this, Bella, for I know how you feel about life as a vampire, but if you are to remain with me for any length of time, you must be turned, and sooner rather than later. I know," I said again, warding off her protest, "that you have not made up your mind concerning this issue, and it pains me to ask it of you so soon after that conversation. But with things as they are…" _Terrible_ , I didn't say. "Well, my twin's visit has made it clear to me that our life here cannot continue as it has been. You are not safe like this, Bella." _As a human,_ I nearly added, but at the last second I omitted those words. Surely she understood that.

"Jane, I –" Bella's voice choked off, and she shook her head. I could not blame her for it. I had sprung this on her without warning, and I knew how she felt about the situation. But still. We could not avoid this forever, even though the sight and sound of her in pain was almost enough to make me relent. Almost. I feared there was more pain to come if I did not make it clear how much trouble we were in.

"The Volturi will find us at some point," I continued relentlessly, ignoring her flinch. "Perhaps not today, nor tomorrow, and probably not the day after that. But someday soon, they will find us. It would be better for you if you were already a vampire. On your own terms." She must understand that Aro and the others would absolutely force her to turn if she did not do so willingly. That was something about which I could not fool her.

I had been monitoring Bella's face for a reaction, and she did not disappoint. Her expression was one of great anger, and some small part of me died a little at the rift this was creating between us.

"You can't expect me to just say _yes_ , Jane," Bella said, her mouth twisting. "I know this is a big deal to you or whatever, but I have a life here. What would I tell Renee? Or my father? I couldn't look them in the face again." Her eyes suddenly darkened with a new thought. "I probably couldn't even be around them for, like, ten years! I'd want to drink their blood, wouldn't I?"

My face was stone, but only because I did not want her to see how my heart was breaking for her. "It is true. There are usually some restraints we must put in place for newborn vampires and some measures of control we must enact. One of them would be to keep you far away from other humans for a long span of time. A decade, possibly two. It depends on the condition you're in whenever you are turned."

Bella swallowed audibly. "So if the Volturi forced me, my control would be…less?"

"Quite a bit less, yes," I said, and did not add that the last person to be forcibly turned by the Volturi had to be exiled for four decades before they were considered suitable to live among humans.

"How long is _sooner_?" she asked. Her expression was one of dread.

"Weeks," I told her, pressing my lips into a tight frown when she buried her face in her hands. "Two or three at the very most."

"But…but…I _can't_ ," Bella said, and my body shivered with pain as her eyes flooded with tears. She was usually upbeat and sarcastic. I rarely saw her like this, and part of me hated myself for it. I wanted to rip trees from the ground and roar into the sky. Instead, I approached her and sat down by her side, balancing on the boulder.

"If you wish to stay by my side, this is a measure that must be taken, Bella. Of course, you are under no obligation to be with me, if you…" And here I faltered. But, as with all the things I'd said already, she must understand. "If you do not wish to remain with me."

A soft sound came from Bella's throat. "Of course I want to be with you, dummy. How could I do anything else or be with anyone else after I've been with you? But I just… I don't know how I feel about becoming a vampire. If we had more time, maybe I could come to a decision, but I… It's overwhelming." Bella shook her head, palms pressing into her eyes. "I don't wanna do the wrong thing."

Before I could leash control of myself, I blurted, "They may kill you anyway, even if you decide to leave me." Then, "The fact that you've known me personally, the fact that you are indeed my soulmate no matter if we pursue that path or not, will convince them that as long as you are alive, you are a threat."

Bella's head shot up, red eyes narrowed and sorrowful. "Is that supposed to help me make a decision? Because now I feel ten times worse. I know you want me to be a vampire, Jane, you've made it pretty clear. But I can't just drop everything I've ever known and agree to let you bite my neck! It's not that simple."

"I know –"

"No," Bella interrupted, and jumped to her feet. "You don't know, not really. You were a human for, like, sixteen years, but that was over three millennia ago. How can you remember what it's like? Oh, I know. You can't. And I know you were forcibly turned, and that you were ultimately glad to be a vampire and whatever, but I'm not you, Jane. I don't think…" She swallowed twice and looked away from me. "I don't think, as a vampire, I'd be my best self. You're better as a vampire. Maybe I…maybe…"

For the first time in as long as I could remember, my throat was tight and I felt dizzy with emotion. Was she saying that she did not want to become a vampire because this life, her human life, was better? Was she saying she did not want to be with me? Not now and not forever? Was she saying… What was she saying?

"Bella," I said softly, my hand reaching through empty air for her. "Is this your decision?"

A great sob tore from her throat, and my body withered and died at the sound. "I don't know!" she whispered. "I can't think, I need to…" Her face red from anger and unshed tears, Bella turned and stumbled away into the brisk night.

I was on my feet and already halfway to her before my brain caught up. It would be best to leave her alone for a little while, I cautioned myself. She needed time. Let her work it out herself. Yes, that's what I would do. I would give her time to think, and then I would go after her.

In the meantime, it was well known that Seattle was rampant with bears and mountain lions this time of year. I could finally slake my thirst, and then, when I was feeling fully myself again, I could seek out Bella.

Because of me, this world was no longer safe for her.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bloodlust had not gotten the best of me in many, many years. Despite my burning hunger, now more potent than previous years, I maintained an intense concentration on Bella and her whereabouts for the seventeen minutes we were separated. So it was because of my unwavering attention that I detected his presence from several blocks over.

Leaping away from my dinner, I was next to Bella in two seconds flat, before he'd even cleared the perimeter of the park. My fangs, already sharp and sensitive, flashed in threat while behind me Bella stumbled back a step, still reeling from my sudden appearance.

"How'd you know –"

"I always know where you are," I murmured, my eyes focused with laser intensity on the young vampire gliding towards us. From four hundred yards away I could see that his eyes were burning with something close to madness, and his sallow skin hung in bags around his eyes. An unattractive look for a vampire, and one that was hard to achieve – but this child had clearly been suffering for quite some time.

I growled, low in my throat, and dared him to step any closer. He stopped in his tracks, although there was a look on his haggard face that disturbed me. If he even thought about going for Bella –

 _No_ , I told myself. _Don't go there._ Horrible images flashed through my mind, and it took every ounce of my self-control not to snarl.

"You have no business here," I hissed softly.

"Jane Volturi," the vampire said, disregarding my warning. "It's really you."

A jolt went through me at his recognition, but on the outside I remained unfazed. "You must leave now," I told him, and silently added, _Before it's too late._

The man's mad eyes were fixed on Bella. "Who is this, then? A snack or a plaything?"

My lip curled, even as my body tensed and shifted in time with the man's unpredictable movements. He was obviously starved, which confused me. Seattle had always been filled with wild animals, many quite large – mountain lions, cougars, lynxes, coyotes, and bears. Not to mention the dense human population. So why was he so hungry?

"Must I insist?" I purred, smiling dangerously. We were whispering so quietly that Bella could not hear what we were saying, and for that I was grateful. If she could hear him, she would know that something was wrong with him, and it would scare her. Or maybe she could already tell. He did look quite…corpse-like.

Again, the vampire did not pay any attention to me, but instead stared at Bella like she was somehow familiar to him. Something registered in his eyes, way back in the burning depths, and whatever it was decided him. He smiled lopsidedly, his eyes wide and unblinking – and then he took a step forward.

Rage swept through me.

In the space of a heartbeat the vampire was on his knees, mouth open in a wordless howl. His face contorted as I bent his body to my will, forcing him to think that I pushed it into shapes even a vampiric torso could not withstand. His eyes rolled back in his head and his arms and fingers started to twitch.

All of this happened in less than five seconds, and by now Bella had grasped what was unfolding before her. From the corner of my eye I could see her head turn my way, her mouth opening, but unlike with most people I could not predict what she might say.

"Jane," she whispered, and in her voice was horror and confusion and distress. My heart ached for her even as I watched the intruder curl into a fetal position on the ground before us.

"Um, what are you doing?" she demanded, hands fluttering by her sides. "Stop! He hasn't done anything!"

"Bella," I said in as calm a tone as I could manage. "He is more dangerous than you know."

"Tell him to leave! You don't need to…hurt him." She trailed off, and I knew she was equally confused and fascinated by what I could do. My ability was entirely intangible. There was nothing to see, no way to tell that I was responsible for torturing this man. My power left no trace. The perfect crime, you could say.

Ignoring Bella, I stepped toward the thing curled pitifully on the ground and bent down near his head. "What do you want?" I asked quietly. "From me. From my mate."

He mumbled something, almost a whine.

"Don't make me ask you again," I said quietly, so quietly it was little more than a stirring of air. We needed to wrap this up; I could feel Bella shaking from here.

"He can't talk if you're hurting him!" she called.

 _Oh. That's right._ I closed my eyes for a moment and took a second to steady myself. Then I took away the pain.

The vampire gasped, so relieved the torture had stopped that he'd momentarily forgotten he didn't need breath. I was growing impatient with him, and his theatrics were eating away at what little tolerance I had left. Then, a hand on my shoulder. I didn't need to look to know it was Bella. I could smell her. Not only that, I could feel waves of fear emanating from behind me.

"I am loan," the vampire hissed.

I titled my head. "That does not mean anything to me."

"Alone," he stressed, avoiding my eyes. "I am alone. No clan, no coven. I have been…ostracized."

"What have you done?" I asked, eyes narrowed.

Swallowing, the vampire hesitated, then shook his head. "I would rather not say. Besides, it is not why I'm here." He seemed to wither a little more. "There are…rumors."

I didn't have to encourage him to talk. One look at my expression and he hurried on. "Your mate…for she is your true mate, yes? Of course," he continued. "You have called her so. The other Volturi are aware of her, yes?"

I was dreadfully close to surpassing angry entirely and falling into the realm of furious. But for Bella's sake, I contained myself. Barely.

"The Volturi are aware."

"But do they know what she is capable of?" His head titled very minutely to the side, and in his expression there slid something sly and insidious.

"What is he saying?" Bella asked, her tone nervous.

I didn't spare her a glance, too focused on what this creature was spewing. It could be nothing good, I knew that now.

"Capable of?" I said softly.

He nodded once, very slowly. "You arrived here in quite the fashion, no? Somehow I doubt Aro would allow one such as this –" and here his gaze flitted to Bella and back to me in half a heartbeat – "to come and go in such a state." His eyes said _human._ Aro would not let her leave as a human, not a second time. How right he was.

And how stupid.

To say this to _me_ , of all people. As if I would not detect the threat in his voice. As if I would not do everything in my power to end him the second Bella's focus wavered.

"What would you like in return for your silence?" I asked, pushing an exasperated smile to my lips. _Convince them,_ Aro always told me. _Convince them, and you've already won._

The vampire smiled an odd smile, and the microsecond before his eyes flitted away again, I suddenly knew what was going to happen. The strange questions, the interest in Bella, the sickliness of his appearance….

This vampire was not only ostracized. He was in exile. He must have done something heinous in order to be running from all of vampire-kind, and only something truly incredible would put him back in the Volturi's good graces. After all, we were the royal family. We were the ones who could tell people to come and go, who could dictate and have others follow unquestioningly. This desperate creature must've been trying to find a way to shed his exile for decades. And now….

Now, Bella.

He would use the existence of her ability, and the fact that I'd kept it hidden, to worm his way back into the Volturi's good graces.

My lip curled as this realization dawned in a flash, and just as I readied myself to pounce, his eyes slid from mine back to Bella. Then he twisted his body and made a wild grab for her.

In hindsight, there was no way he could've made contact with even a stray thread of her shirt. She was also standing too far back to be within range of his outstretched hand. Even so, my adrenaline was pumping. Or the ghost of my adrenaline. And I'd just discovered his true intentions. And Bella was still too close for my liking. If she'd been a hundred feet away, or two miles, or three hundred, it still would've been too close. The only way I'd be satisfied was if she were back in Arizona, reclining on her mattress with a coloring book and crayons balanced on her legs while I sat beside her, eyes drinking in her every move.

As it was, she was a mere twenty feet behind me, and that was the only thing I knew.

I slammed into the vampire, hands hooked into claws, teeth bared. The interloper was made weak from months of near-starvation, and he was vulnerable from my repeated attacks on his mind, so I managed to take him down easily. My foot on his neck, I pinned him to the earth, fangs inches from his face. It was merely a scare tactic, of course; there was no blood for me to suck. But if the Volturi had taught me anything, it was the art of intimidation.

The lunge, the tackle, the pinning down – it'd all taken no more than three seconds. I should've remembered that humans couldn't track movement very well though because Bella only reacted once everything was already over.

Bella gasped, and I heard her feet tangle as she took a step back. My attention shifted her way for only half a second – Would she fall and break something? Was she going to land on a rock and hurt her head? – but for the vampire beneath me, it was enough. He slipped from my grasp, knocking me several centimeters off balance, and bounded away. In a flash, he was gone.

And Bella was still falling.

I rocketed up from my crouch, correcting my balance as I did, and lunged for her, catching her around the waist while she was still more than a foot from impact. Bella blinked rapidly, as if to clear debris from her eyes.

"Are you well?" I asked softly, my senses stretched to their limits. I wanted to be sure the vampire would not reappear and try to catch me unaware again.

Bella swallowed, the sound very loud in the stillness of the empty park. "I think so." A pause, and then, "But who was that? Did you know him?"

I debated withholding the truth from her, but only for a nanosecond. "He was no one. An outcast. He must've committed some crime because he mentioned the Volturi had exiled him."

"What did he want with you?"

"It wasn't me he had an issue with," I said, eyes flickering over the park. There was nothing out of the ordinary for at least two miles in any direction. We were safe. For now.

Her eyes widened. "Me? W-what did he want with me?"

I shook my head and lowered her to the ground. "It wasn't anything you did, love. It's who you are."

Confusion clouded her eyes. "Who I am?" she repeated, dazed.

"My mate," I said softly, and hugged her tight.

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**  
Bella's POV  
**

Jane was acting strangely, even for a vampire. No, _especially_ for a vampire. She'd elapsed into an eerie, thoughtful silence ever since we'd arrived back in Whittleston, and no matter how long or how hard I stared at her, she didn't so much as glance my way. Usually she'd feel my gaze on her and tell me to knock it off, or smile and raise her brows suggestively, but the encounter with the lunatic vampire had shaken her. I wasn't sure what to do. And I _always_ knew what to do. That was sorta my thing. Granted, sometimes I didn't act appropriately, but who said I had to?

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" I asked for the seven-thousandth time. "You need to tell me because I'll just keep asking, and eventually my voice will give out because I won't stop, and then you'll feel really bad because I can't communicate with you, and –"

"I don't wish to scare you." Jane didn't pause in her pacing, but she did spare one quick glance at me, so quick I couldn't decipher the expression on her angelic face. I doubted she was having any angelic thoughts.

"If you don't tell me, things will only get worse." I said this confidently, as if I knew anything about sharing secrets. The artificial gardenia in my living room was the sole witness to many late-night confessions, but even the plant made me suspicious. Who knew what lurked beneath that green layer of plastic?

Jane abruptly sat down by my side and closed her eyes. She seemed to be concentrating, or maybe pondering something deeply. I wasn't the best at reading faces, so who could say?

She finally opened her eyes and said, "I'm worried."

"What about? That vampire guy? I dunno if you were paying attention, but you took him down like, _way_ easily."

"No, Bella," she said, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she sounded exasperated. And not in a teasing way. "I am not worried about a fight. Not with him."

"You're being cryptic again," I accused, frowning.

"He escaped," she said simply, turning to face me. Her eyes were dark and unfathomable. "He knows who you are, where you are, and what you can do. And he escaped."

For a moment I tried to piece all these things together, but I couldn't come up with a reason for Jane's obvious distress. I mean, was it really that big a deal that he knew who I was? "I don't get it," I said finally, not meeting her eyes. If only I could figure something out for myself. She knew I was stupid, but sometimes I worried she didn't really _know_. "He doesn't know where I live. We were in Washington. That's pretty far from Arizona, if I have my geography right."

Patiently, Jane grasped my right hand between both of hers. "No, Bella," she said, and there was strain in her voice. My shoulders deflated a little. I guess she was catching on. Maybe she'd leave me for a brainiac. I wouldn't blame her. "That man saw us _arrive_ in Seattle."

Her emphasis clued me in. "Oh. He saw me teleport us there."

"Yes," she said, "and he's been in exile for a long, long time."

Finally, it clicked. "He's…he's going to tell the Volturi," I said slowly. "He's going to tell them what I can do because he hopes they'll bring him out of exile."

Jane closed her eyes again. "Yes. Once he tells them what you can do…" She seemed to struggle with these next words. "My family will know that I've been keeping your ability a secret. They'll know I've been lying to them."

"And that's bad?" I asked tentatively.

She nodded wearily, eyes still shut. "Very. Although they are aware of my affection for you and that you are my mate, they still think my first priority, my first allegiance, should be to them. When that creature goes and tells them that you can teleport, they will know that isn't the case."

"What will they do?" I asked quietly.

Jane's jaw clenched. "You know."

I opened my mouth, but then Jane ripped her hands from mine and was standing before me, body tensed, a low growl vibrating in her throat. I blinked a few times, taking all this in, and then I realized belatedly that my room had become downright freezing. There was a breeze drifting through the house, and it seemed to be coming from the direction of the front door. But the front door was closed. Right? It _should_ be closed, but –

I saw the shadow in my bedroom doorway, and my heart stuttered in my chest. I was sure both of them could hear it.

Jane's twin was dressed all in black, and if not for his burning red eyes and golden hair, I would've thought he really was just a shadow. I couldn't read his expression – it was too dark in my house, and I had a feeling he was intentionally trying to exclude me – but his stance told me enough. He was tensed, and so was Jane. In fact, the two of them were mirror images; one poised to protect, the other to attack.

"Alec –" Jane began, voice low, just as I muttered, "I thought vampires had to be invited in" under my breath.

"That's a myth," he said, addressing me. I blinked at him, surprised. "We can go anywhere we please."

"Oh," I said, when it was clear he was waiting for a response.

"Alec," Jane said again, her focus still on him, "why have you come?"

But I knew why, and I was sure she knew too. Which meant that Alec knew, and all the rest of the Volturi. Everybody on the goddamn planet knew. My mom probably knew at this point, and she didn't have anything to do with anything!

 _Focus_ , I commanded myself, because once I started obsessing about something, my brain just kind of spiraled and kept spiraling until something really bad or really crazy happened to stop me.

"We've had a visitor," Alec said, and just like that, my worst fears were confirmed.

"Aro?" Jane's voice was steady, but it looked like her muscles were threatening to break right through her skin, that's how tense they were.

Alec shook his head once, slowly. "Soon."

What did he mean? I didn't know their lingo, but I was too nervous to ask.

"The others?"

"Caius is accompanying him. Marcus is staying behind. There must always be a leader in Volterra."

Jane nodded impatiently. "Of course."

Alec took a slow step forward, conscious of his proximity to me. Jane shifted in time with him, keeping herself between us. He cocked his head to the side. "They are bringing Chelsea and Demetri, of course. Felix is staying behind with Marcus."

"Anyone else?" Jane sounded bored.

Alec didn't say anything, but a look flashed between them, so quickly I was convinced I'd imagined it. But then Jane nodded again, and her body seemed to deflate a little. "Have they sent you as point?"

"No. I am here as a courtesy."

I furrowed my brows, trying to follow. Why did she mean by asking if they'd sent him as _point_? Point… _guard_? I didn't know much about sports, but I did know that point guard was someone who went first. It dawned on me then; Jane wanted to know if the Volturi had sent Alex to them, as some sort of point man. Was he here to stall us, to keep us from getting a head start? I swallowed, and Jane's head turned slightly in my direction.

"He's not here to harm you," she said to me in a soft, reassuring voice, sensing my thoughts. Because I was apparently a needy, insecure child, her tone made me feel better. But then it hardened, and I knew she was talking to her twin. "Not yet."

"They come soon. Before the week is over."

It was Thursday.

Jane nodded. "I thank you for the courtesy."

Even though I'd always been an only child, it still struck me as ridiculous and more than a little sad that this was their relationship. I mean, they were _twins_. You couldn't form a bond closer than that, and yet it was like I was witness to a meeting between strangers.

Alec frowned. "Don't thank me. I am not here to assist you. I am here to ask that you come with me."

Jane's body stilled, and so did mine.

"He wants me to turn myself in?" I asked, voice tremulous. "Become a vampire willingly?"

Alec spoke before Jane could. "Yes, precisely. Willingly, you will succeed as a vampire. _Un_ willingly…" He trailed off, eyeing me. "Life will not be so easy."

He sidestepped toward me, and Jane hissed loudly, her hand jerking, fingers clenching and unclenching, as if yearning for her brother's neck. "No closer," she said, and Alec stopped moving altogether. He was still staring at me, eyes roving over my face and down my legs, as if inspecting me for weaknesses or defects. I could tell Jane disapproved because she moved so that I couldn't see Alec at all.

"I would not be doing my duty to you as your brother if I did not try and persuade you to bring Isabella to Volterra," he said, and there was something in his manner that made me think he was as close to pleading as vampires ever got. "Nothing good will come of this if you run. Do you want to see her hurt?"

Jane snarled, the sound loud and shocking in the quiet of my bedroom. " _Do not you threaten her._ "

Alec raised his hands in the universal gesture for peace. "Be still, sister. I meant no harm. But you must see that if you refuse to comply, there will be no happy ending."

Jane shook her head. "I cannot, will not, hand Bella over to be turned. She must decide for herself."

"And what if her decision is not one that's agreeable to you?"

Jane did not answer except to say, "I respect Bella's wishes."

"Even if her wish is to leave you?" He was teasing her now, but I knew it was so she would get angry and act.

"This is none of your business, brother," Jane snapped.

"Oh, but it is," he said, speaking before she'd even finished, as if he'd known exactly what she'd say. "I am Volturi, and she -" Alec pointed at me. I could only see his hand around Jane's body. "- she is Volturi business. Did you really think you could keep her ability a secret?" Then, softer, so soft I knew that he was hurt, no matter how ardently he'd deny it, "Did you think you could keep this from _me_?"

"I knew it would come to this," Jane said wearily. "You would feel obligated to tell the others immediately. Bella is not ready, and I couldn't have you running off to tattle on me when neither of us has made a decision."

"I would not have run off, not if you weren't ready," he said defensively.

"Volturi first," she said. "Always. Remember?"

"I would not have told," he insisted, but at that point I think all three of us knew he lied.

"You would have run to Aro and told him the truth of who she is and what she can do. You would have told them all. You are doing it now, so what makes you think you would not have done it to begin with?" Jane shook her head, and her voice became hard. Stone cold. "No, these things never change. Your allegiance takes priority over everything. You would not have kept something so significant from them, no matter my wishes. That is who you are."

Alec stared at his twin and then straightened his shoulders. "Take Isabella to Volterra," he said, as if Jane hadn't spoken. "Have Aro or one of the others turn her. She will become part of the Guard. We could use her talents. No one has to get hurt."

Jane merely stared back at him, unflinching.

Once Alec realized he would get no response, he turned to leave. But then he stopped in the doorway and made eye contact with me before Jane could intercept him. "Think long and hard about what you are asking my sister to sacrifice. Your ability is incredibly valuable, yes, but are you really worth all this trouble?"

His eyes penetrated me, breaking straight through my barriers to the center of my being. His gaze tore me apart, ripped to shreds my confidence, my security, my belief in myself. He did it with a glance. Because that's who he was. Jane was right. He would do anything to protect the Volturi, even if – and here I glanced at Jane – it hurt him in the long run.

It was odd that I could see the connections between Jane and her brother but not between the two of us. I could really use some insight right now.

"Jane," I said, rising from the bed. My legs were shaky, but for her sake I'd stand.

She turned slowly to face me, her expression unreadable. "Pack a bag," she said firmly. "We leave in an hour."

She left the room, her footsteps no more than a whisper. I stared after her, hands hanging at my sides. The moment she moved, I'd reached for her. But she had not reached back for me. I couldn't tell if she was upset with me or not, but what other reason was there for the way she'd turned away from me?

I stood there for a long time, Alec's words running through my mind on a loop.

_Are you really worth the trouble?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **only a few chaps left!! hold on to your horses it's about to get crazy(er)**


	13. Death Row

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **hellooooo again i've decided to upload the last 2 chapters together because they kind of go hand-in-hand so there will only be one more update after this!**
> 
> **also this chap is a bit slower and more introspective but I promise the craziness is coming lol**

** DECEMBER **

Everything here was quiet.

For miles around in every direction, there was snow. So much snow, several feet deep powdery like flour. It formed tunnels of roads that were normally wide open, and it formed giant hills on corners that were usually only decorated with street signs. The trees were pine and fir, and little green needles and pinecones littered the smooth, marble-white surface of the ground.

Sometimes, when I sat at the window for long stretches, I saw a squirrel scamper across the snow, quick as a flash, in the hopes of finding one last acorn to store, and other times I saw the cautious eyes of a bunny peeking between the fir needles, stepping delicately over the topmost layer of crusted ice. They were cute things, harmless, but I often found myself thinking that if they weren't careful, if they didn't return to their safe haven, warm and well-protected as it no doubt was, they might find themselves caught up in a storm there was no way out of. Before they knew it, they'd be taking their last breath, every pump of their heart and expansion of their lungs an agony. If they weren't careful, nature would take its course and weed out the weak.

I knew that's what I was. I was human, and humans were the lesser race. Vulnerable, fragile, and soft…but they were malleable, too. They could be made strong, intelligent, resourceful, clever. You could make a human into anything.

And if that human misbehaved, if they grew too powerful or threatening, if they did things that no normal human should know how to do, if they committed impossible acts….

Well, you could always kill them.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had teleported us to this cabin in Maine ten days ago. The town of Seboeis was entirely isolated and covered primarily by large, dense forestry. Population: 30. This cabin was obviously a lovers' retreat, and the lovers only visited in the warmer months, according to the calendar hanging on the inside of the pantry door. They wouldn't be back until April, or May at the latest. That gave us plenty of time to hide.

But Jane said we would have to move soon. We couldn't stay in one place for too long, she told me. Ten days was pushing it. Two weeks would be asking for trouble. The Volturi were hunting us – _hunting me,_ I thought – and, according to Jane, they'd never be far behind. Out of everyone, I guessed she'd know the best. After all, she was usually the one in charge of the hunt.

Since the night Alec had visited us in Whittleston, I hadn't felt like myself. Nothing about life felt easy or funny like it usually was. I was used to not caring, to winging it, to letting things unfold as they would and following along in whatever direction was most persuasive. But ever since Jane had told me to pack a bag, my world had dimmed. I felt cold all the time, and no matter how many blankets Jane piled on me, or how hot my tea, or how high the thermostat was cranked, I couldn't get warm.

I could see that Jane was worried – I'd catch her watching me sometimes when I was sitting in the window seat or playing with the stray cat who frequently showed up at our doorstep. I wasn't sure how Juniper could even leave and come back; the snow was at a record nine feet and always piling higher. Juniper loathed Jane, but that made sense. Nature didn't react well to Jane's presence because everything about Jane went against nature itself. So I played with Juniper while Jane did other things. Made plans. Tracked the other Volturi. I wasn't sure how, and I wasn't particularly curious to find out.

Aside from always being cold, I didn't talk as much. Sometimes hours would pass, and Jane would get so worried she'd actually start a conversation. She was desperate to hear my voice, I'd realized, because she didn't know what I was feeling or thinking, but she knew that I was struggling. She didn't dare ask me about my emotions or where my mind went because she knew – she knew that it was always on The Choice. That's what I'd taken to calling it in my mind, with capitals: The Choice. 

Option one - to stay human and certainly die, whether by the Volturi's hand or from old age (the latter seemed unlikely at this point). Option two – to choose life as a vampire, again by the Volturi's hand. There was a time when I could've had Jane turn me, but we both knew that time had passed. The Volturi were suspicious and overly cautious by nature; that's one reason they'd managed to survive so long. They wouldn't allow anyone but Aro, Caius, or Marcus to turn me for fear of being deceived. I just knew that, if I chose life as a vampire, I didn't want Caius to do it. Anyone but Caius.

Ever since we'd arrived in Seboeis, our conversations had been limited. Jane would ask me how cold I was, on a scale of one to ten, and I would tell her. Six. Four, if I was lucky. But often eight or nine. Near freezing. We'd talk about food too. I'd ask her if she could get some meat, and she would – though hesitantly. She didn't like to leave me for long. It only took her about ten minutes to haul a buck through the back door. I didn't watch her butcher it for me, but I ate until my stomach felt close to bursting. My appetite was one of the only things about me that wasn't affected.

I was cold, and I didn't like to talk, and I was always ravenous, but most of all I was tired. I liked to sit in the window seat and watch the small animals – squirrels and rabbits and birds and sometimes even a badger – scamper from tree to tree in search of food. It looked so peaceful outside, so calm and quiet. However, in the ten days Jane and I had been in Seboeis, there had been three blizzards, the first so long it had pretty much blended into the second. I sat by the fire too and let the heat warm me – or try to, anyway. It did work, but only a little.

During the daytime, Jane paced. Bedroom, kitchen, living room, dining room, garage, back into the bedroom. I could tell she was thinking, and I didn't want to interrupt. Her jaw was always tight, and there was a very faint furrow between her eyebrows that told me she was considering all the ways we could get out of this.

But I knew the truth. Maybe she did too and chose to ignore it. Or maybe she genuinely didn't see what was right in front of her.

There was no way out of this.

No way, except to give in.

I'd known this from the second Alec had left my house in Whittleston, but I hadn't admitted it to myself until our second day in the cabin, when I woke up at around three in the morning and happened to see Jane outside in the snow, slamming her fists into a tree over and over and over until the thick trunk snapped in half and fell to the earth. I'd snuggled deeper into the pillows and pretended not to see. In the morning, there'd been no trace of the fallen tree or the anger that had made Jane lose control.

But I knew. There was nothing to do but seek out the Volturi and let them turn me. We couldn't wait for them to find us. No, we couldn't do that, because if we waited for them to come get me, it would be bad. But if _I_ sought _them_ out, if I ran straight into their cold, dead arms of my own free will, they would know that I had made a decision. But if they came for me, they would think I still didn't want to be turned, and there would be trouble.

And I didn't want to be turned. I really didn't. But there was no other way.

I loved Jane. I believed now that she was my soulmate, even though I hadn't given the idea a second thought before that day last summer when I was struck by lightning. My body reacted to the very sight of her. My pulse sped up - it became rapid and uneven, like I had run miles and miles - my hands suddenly grew sweaty, my cheeks tinged pink as soon as she looked at me, and I had to consciously keep myself from smiling idiotically at her. 

I loved Jane. I loved her more than my house, more than any material possessions, more than my own mother. I loved her like sunsets. I loved her like roses. I loved her like stars and flowers and music and laughter. I loved her like my heart, because if she left or ceased to be, so would I.

But when I'd reached for her, she'd pretended not to see. She had turned away.

I loved her, but did she still love me?

 _Are you really worth the trouble?_ Alec's words, but maybe Jane saw some truth in them. Maybe she'd started asking herself that too. Not at first, and not before Alec's surprise visit. But after…

After he'd gone, once she'd turned her back on my outstretched hands, had Jane begun to debate if I was worth the planning, the restlessness, the hours of pacing and anger and confusion? Had she wondered if protecting me was just too much? That finding a new secret hideaway every few days was a major inconvenience? She thought I was too fragile. I know she did because she'd told me on more than one occasion. But what if, instead of being sweet and endearing, my fragileness had become an irritation? Just one more thing she had to worry about.

_Don't crush her hands when you take them in your own. Careful not to kiss her cheek too forcefully – you could shatter her cheekbone. Keep in mind that at night in bed when your arms are wrapped around her and your legs are tangled that you don't accidentally suffocate her. Try not to hug her too tightly or her spine will crack. When you playfully slap her shoulder or tickle her arm or massage her feet or caress her thigh or play with her hair, be mindful you don't break her into a million chaotic pieces. Be careful. Be careful. Be careful._

Was that what was it like inside her head? An unending litany of precautions. A relentless voice chiding her not to forget because if she did, even for a heartbeat, half a heartbeat, the thought of a heartbeat, I could die – _snap_ – just like that.

_Are you really worth the trouble?_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning of our eleventh day in Seboeis, I woke with a jerk.

My arms flailed, searching for something, I think, though I wasn't sure what. My heart was galloping in my chest. I took three steadying breaths before I allowed myself to really see the room. It was nearly seven and a few minutes after sunrise. The bedroom was cast in shadows, shades of grey and black, and I could tell just from the way the sunlight slanted through the closed blinds that it was snowing again.

 _Blizzard number four,_ I thought tiredly, and threw the covers off.

I wrapped myself in three layers of sweats – an undershirt, a long-sleeved tunic, and a giant sweater – and draped a heavy wool blanket around my shoulders. I had on leggings underneath sweatpants and four layers of socks. I snatched a hat hanging from the doorknob of the bedroom and crammed it over my head, down past my ears. As I walked into the kitchen, I pulled on fingerless gloves that Jane had found in an old chest in the attic. The only sound was the ticking of a clock on the mantlepiece above the empty fireplace.

Jane was outside hunting for breakfast and lunch. That was the only place she could be because she never left the cabin for any other reason. There wasn't a general store or main street in Seboeis, and the nearest neighbor was at least ten miles down the road. Isolation, indeed.

I wiped my gloved hand under my nose as I settled myself in the window seat. Sure enough, fat, puffy flakes were falling from a slate gray sky, and the snow was so thick that I could barely see the towering pine tree twenty feet from the cabin. I sighed, wondering how long ago Jane had left and when she'd be back – my stomach was already rumbling – when a small black dot flashed amidst the snowflakes.

My heart lurched in my chest, and I jerked so violently away from the window that I fell out of the seat and onto the hardwood floor. I gasped and struggled upright.

 _What was that? Is it the Volturi? Have they found us already? Will they turn me right here? Where's Jane, does she know, did she see it too?_ My mind clambered with these frantic thoughts.

 _Get ahold of yourself, Amelia!_ I snapped at myself, and the suddenness of hearing my middle name forced me to focus. Even though Amelia was my middle name, that's what everyone called me. But ever since I met Jane, who always called me _Isabella_ in a soft, lovely murmur, Amelia had taken a backseat. 

I climbed to my feet and cautiously risked a glance out the window. There was nothing out there except snow. _Nothing,_ I told myself reassuringly, _nothing but snow and trees and small animals, nothing but –_

And there it was. Not moving, not streaking across the yard like a minute ago, but circling the base of a fir tree just beyond the giant pine nearest the cabin. I cringed back, but then I realized that it was small and black and fuzzy. I realized it was an animal, and not just a random squirrel or bunny rabbit.

It was Juniper.

The wind howled outside, and the snow seemed to pour from the sky, not just in sheets but in dumps, in great, big, heaping piles, so thick and fast that it didn't look possible for there to be any room to breathe. There was no space for anything but the snow. It was falling to earth in a suffocating wave, and any living thing left outside would die.

I stumbled to the front door and threw it open with strength I'd thought long deserted, and before I could convince myself out of it, I leaped down the front steps and into the forest.

The snow was thick, just as I'd thought, but I could still breathe. I stumbled and bumbled my way to the pine tree, and then past it, and then to the fir tree. I squinted, trying to spot the cat. He was all black, and everywhere I looked was white on white on white. How hard could it be to find him?

"Juniper!" I called, my voice unsteady. Immediately his name was carried away on the wind, just another snowflake amidst trillions.

I swallowed, growing nervous now – the cold was seeping through my layers of sweaters, and I could feel snow seeping through my socks too – but then I heard a very tiny meow, and when I glanced down, gaze swinging wildly from left to right, I caught a glimpse of a black furball almost entirely coated with white. I squatted down and reached out a hand.

"Juniper," I said softly, and he meowed at the sound of my voice. A smile touched the edges of my lips, the first in many days. "Juniper, come with me. It's too cold out here, silly."

I'd just folded him into my arms when something latched on to my shoulder and yanked me upright. I stumbled and nearly fell, but then I felt hands holding tightly to my arms. Juniper hissed loudly and started bucking, but I held him, petting his back soothingly. I glanced away from the cat and into eyes that burned.

"What are you doing out here?" Jane snapped, her tone nearly as cold as the snow beneath my feet.

"I –"

"Let's go," she interrupted, and before I knew it she'd wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled us inside the cabin. _Thirty feet in one second,_ I thought dizzily, blinking. _That's how fast she moves, how quickly things happen in her life._

Jane moved back, and Juniper finally started to settle down, purring contentedly in my arms.

"What were you doing?" Jane asked again, and although her voice was softer, there was an edge to it I'd never heard before.

"Juniper was outside," I said defensively. "I noticed the blizzard was getting worse, and I went to get him. I couldn't leave him out there."

Jane stared at me, her eyes dark. "You are cold all the time, freezing, and yet you will go out into subzero temperatures to rescue a stray feline?"

"Well, yeah," I said, not understanding what the big deal was. "I couldn't just let him freeze to death."

"He is a cat," she said, with emphasis this time, as if I wasn't getting something vital.

"Yes," I said slowly, moving back to the window seat, "I know."

"You could have tripped and fallen in the snow," she said, as if she hadn't heard me. " _Mio Dio,_ you could have hit your head or gotten stuck! Then you would have frozen to death."

There was a hardness to Jane's voice, and I couldn't read what it meant because she'd turned away, into the kitchen where a freshly killed deer was slung across the wood table.

"No," I said, beginning to lose patience, "I wouldn't have because all I had to do was call for you."

She shook her head as she opened a drawer and pulled out a butcher knife. "That is not the point, Bella. Your body temperature has been very low for nearly two weeks now, and you decide to trek out into freezing temperatures, in the middle of a blizzard, no less, to rescue an animal that does not know or care about you like you seem to care about it. You went out there with no regard to yourself or your current state of well-being."

My mouth twisted. "It's called being selfless, Jane. I wasn't too worried about myself. The cat was only thirty feet from the house. That's nothing."

"That's _everything_ ," she hissed, back tensing. I saw her put down the knife with great care and place her hands on the table. "You could have gotten lost, _la mia vita_."

 _My life_. I didn't say anything this time.

"Something could have happened," she whispered, so softly I almost couldn't hear her.

A pause.

Then I said quietly, "But it didn't."

Jane slowly turned from the table and came into the living room. She bent down before the window seat and placed her forehead on my knees. Juniper shifted uncomfortably.

"Something could have happened to take you away from me," Jane said softly, and in her voice there was such pain I almost couldn't stand it. I didn't know how she did. Was this how she always felt around me?

Right then I imagined I could feel what she felt, hear what she thought. _Be careful, be careful, be careful. Don't break her._

Then wished I hadn't.

"I won't go outside again," I said finally. "At least not while there's a blizzard."

After another silent minute passed, Jane raised her head and stared into my eyes. "Even then, wait until I am here too. Just in case."

I searched her eyes and found only concern and a deep, all-encompassing worry. So I nodded and promised her I would only leave the cabin again in an emergency or if she was close at hand.

I think that was when I finally decided. The sagging expression on her face, the look in her eyes that spoke of impending heartbreak and unendurable agony.

That's when I knew.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day twelve. It was midafternoon. Jane had left to hunt for our dinner. She was expected back any minute.

I sat in the armchair next to the fire, my gaze locked on the flames, Juniper dozing in my arms. The cabin was quiet except for the tick of the mantlepiece clock and the crackling of the dry logs as they burned. The blizzard had ended sometime in the early morning, before dawn. There was more than eleven feet of snow outside, and I hadn't seen any small animals since day nine. I wondered if they were finally hibernating. 

Or maybe they were all dead.

The moment Jane left the cabin, I had begun undressing. Layer after layer, sweater after sweater. Then my socks, and finally my pants. I'd gotten a quick, five-minute shower and dressed in a pair of clean jeans and a simple blue cotton t-shirt. Then I'd thrown on a forest green jacket and slipped on my old white Converse. I'd brushed my hair, packed what few belongings I'd brought with me to Seboeis, and finally sat down with Juniper in the armchair to wait for Jane.

She entered the cabin two minutes later. The tang of fresh blood hit my nostrils, and I held back a gag. I was facing the fireplace, but I could tell by Jane's movements and the thud of the animal that it was another deer.

"I am sorry I'm late," Jane said. "The deer was fleet-footed, and I –"

She paused.

 _She can smell me,_ I thought calmly. _She can smell how clean I am._ That made me ponder, briefly, just how bad I must've smelled the last few days - and if it was so obvious _now_ , how had she managed to live with the stink?

"Bella?" She was crouched in front of me now, and her eyes were wide and imploring. Trying to see into my head, figure out what had forced this change in me. I met her gaze steadily. She might've known then – she'd always said my face was like a book to her and all my expressions easily read – but it needed to be said aloud anyway.

"I've decided."

She kept her eyes locked on my face, but her entire body had stilled. She was a statue. Made of marble and just as cold, she was more beautiful than the angels the stories spoke of.

"I want them to turn me. I want to be a vampire."

 _With you. For you,_ I thought but did not say. Part of me knew she didn't want to hear that.

Jane was staring at me, and I couldn't read any expression on her face. Worried she would doubt me, I added, "I've thought long and hard about this, so I don't want an argument. The Volturi won't stop hunting me, and I'm tired of running. It hasn't even been two weeks yet, but I've had enough. I can't go on like this, and I don't want you to suffer through this when there's an easy answer." I inhaled deeply, steeling myself. "I want to be with you, Jane, and I want to be a vampire."

Again, Jane said nothing, but this time I was committed to my silence. She could never say anything for the rest of her long life, but my mind was made up. Now the only thing left to do was follow through.

"Are you sure?" she finally said, her gaze unwavering.

"Yes," I said without pause.

Jane kept her gaze on Juniper as she talked. "I cannot say there is no rush because that would be untrue. I cannot say that you may take your time because there is not much time to be had. I cannot say that the Volturi will stop their hunt because _I_ am Volturi, and I know that they will not rest until you are turned." Jane traced circles on my knees, her touch delicate. "Your power makes you valuable, _mio dolce._ If not for your power…I would worry that –" But she trailed off, and I nodded. If not for my power, they would kill me for causing them such trouble.

"I'm sure," I said softly, touching the hand that was drawing intricate designs on my jean-clad legs. "I'm really sure. This isn't only what I want, it's what needs to happen. We can't go on like this. Besides," I added, watching her face closely, "I'm going to be with you forever, so better they turn me now. This way, we'll be the same age."

Jane bent her head so that her cheek rested on my knees. "It is decided then."

 _For better or worse,_ I thought.

"Yeah," I said aloud. "It's decided."

Jane allowed herself ten seconds of uninterrupted silence, which was ten seconds longer than she normally allowed, and then rose gracefully to her feet. It was only then that I noticed her eyes were only faintly red now; she must've slaked her thirst this morning before returning to the cabin. Now the only notable thing in them was determination.

"I cannot say that I am not surprised and concerned for you, _mi amore_ , but you are convinced this is the right path, I can see it. And," she added reluctantly, "all of your points are valid. The Volturi will not stop. Aro and Caius will hunt us until they catch you. I hold no doubts of that. I am…surprised that you came to a decision so quickly, though." She walked into the kitchen and picked up the butcher knife. "I assumed it would take you quite a while to make a choice."

"Why is that?" I asked, shifting Juniper. He grumbled softly, then settled.

She lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. "It is not something to take lightly."

"No," I said, "it's not."

"When would you like to leave?"

I looked up sharply. "W-what? You mean, to go to Volterra?"

"There is no –" She cut herself off, because of course there was a rush. At this point the worst thing we could do was waste time. "Sooner rather than later would be best," she said cautiously, lowering the knife again. I noticed belatedly that she hadn't even made an incision. Usually she did that first before bringing the animal outside to be butchered.

"Sooner," I confirmed, with more confidence than I felt. "Sooner is always best."

Jane remained motionless in the middle of the kitchen for three seconds more, and then she dropped all pretense. She was at my side faster than I could blink and gently pulling me to my feet despite Juniper's presence. She folded me into a hug, the cat pressed tightly between us.

"I just want you to be safe," she whispered into my ear, stirring strands of my hair. "That is all I desire in the world. Your safety and your well-being."

"I know," I whispered back, breathing in the cold, clean scent of her. I pressed my lips gently to her neck. "Once I'm turned, I'll be safe. You won't have to worry anymore." _About hurting me,_ I nearly added, but the words jammed in my throat, and I let them dissipate. She couldn't know that I suspected how hard it was for her to be near me. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel bad.

"I will always worry," she said, and released me.

The rest of the day we spent packing. After Jane's relentless questions and my repeated assurances that, yes, I was sure, yes, this was what I wanted, and yes, I'd rather be a vampire than be separated from her, she disappeared out the back door to skin the deer, and I set Juniper on the window seat before entering our bedroom.

Slowly, methodically, I packed away my countless sweaters and shirts and pants and socks while cleaning up evidence of our ever being here. It wasn't hard; Jane didn't leave any tracks or other indications that she'd been living here for two weeks. 

I was another story. There was hair in the shower and bathroom sink, grease marks on the kitchen table from my hands and dropped food, scuff marks from my shoes, and the coconut smell of my dry shampoo in the air. The bed covers were rumpled, the armchair and window seat cushions were dimpled from the many hours I'd sat in them, and there were numerous towels carelessly strewn all over the inside of the bedroom closet. I wasn't messy, not in the traditional dishes-in-the-sink, dirty-clothes-on-the-floor way, but it was true that I could be disorganized. Case in point – clean but rumpled towels in the corner.

I took a break and sat on the edge of our bed. A subtle lavender scent puffed up from the comforter, and I inhaled it slowly, savoring the aroma. It reminded me of spring, of running through fields and watching out my bedroom window as the wildflowers took over my lawn.

But nothing grew here. It was mid-winter, and everything was dead. Including Jane. It hurt to think that, but it was the truth.

A month ago I wouldn't have dared admit that to myself, but that was a month ago. I felt like I'd aged ten years since the afternoon when I'd been so unceremoniously struck by lightning. I remember feeling confused and doubtful about the experience, especially when the doctors attributed my "odd" delusions to a mild concussion. I remember stuffing my face with greasy McDonald's fries on the way home from the hospital, my mother in the driver's seat, her makeup running again. I remember discovering my ability, seeing new parts of the world and trying to improve the accuracy of my arrivals. It hurt to think of those times. I was carefree and sarcastic and totally unruffled. Nothing affected me. I didn't care much about anything or anyone. My life was boring, but it was safe.

Now I felt old and wise and troubled. My mind was so full of strange and complex problems, it was almost like…well, like I was a stranger in my own head. Or maybe it was just that my brain had been scooped out like ice cream and someone else's brain had been dumped in. I was still seventeen, but I felt like an adult. More than an adult, like an old woman who's aged well before her time. I might look like a teenager, but my mind felt eighty, and even that eighty-year-old woman felt old. It was an endless cycle.

 _Is this what Jane experiences every day?_ I wondered. If I was old, she was decrepit, ancient. Her body showed no signs of this, of course; she was frozen in time. But her _mind_ was that old, if nothing else. How could she stand it, knowing she outdated everyone on this earth? Except for her Volturi pals, obviously. So maybe then it wasn't so bad, knowing there were still others out there older than her.

I rubbed my forehead tiredly. These thoughts were pointless. They changed nothing. I loved Jane, and I would do this for her. For the both of us. That's what mattered. But for now, there was evidence to be erased.

With a sigh, I set to cleaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **oooooooo big decision!**
> 
> **look for the last update sometime at the end of this week! hopefully Thursday or Friday but I might need the weekend to polish it up a little. thanks again for reading!**


	14. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **thanks to everyone who's read and left kudos or a comment <3 I really appreciate it! please enjoy this last installment - it's an emotional journey for sure**

We stood together before the front door.

Even though it was closed and Jane had kept the thermostat cranked to a steamy eighty-five degrees the entire time we'd been in Seboeis, I could feel wisps of freezing cold air seeping through the cracks in the wood. It was all I could do not to shiver violently and alert Jane, but since my body was already as taut as a bowstring, I was sure she already knew anyway.

In fact, Jane was studying me, her head tilted fractionally to the right. Her eyes flicked over my triple layer of wool sweaters and all-terrain knee-high boots. I'd only managed to put on two layers of leggings because that was all that'd fit inside the boots, but Jane assured me Volterra would be much warmer, even at this time of year.

It was in the mid-sixties over there, according to the old man who frequented the general store in Gilford, the next town over. Jane had wandered close enough to the center of town to overhear a conversation between him and his niece, who'd just returned from a work trip. This was mostly useless information, obviously, and yet it calmed me down a little. It restored a tiny bit of normalcy to my life.

But I also knew that my new life as a vampire had already begun. I was cold now, and I somehow knew I'd never be warm again, not like before. I wasn't human-warm, and yet neither was I vampire-cold. For the time being, I was somewhere in between. Sort of like a transitional stage.

Jane was standing so close to me that my exhales stirred the bright blonde wisps of hair near her temples. I also noticed, with some horror, that I was taller than her now. Between our first meeting in the Forest of Dupree somewhere in Kentucky and this moment, here, now, I had grown half an inch taller. I blinked dizzily.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked at once, her hands already on my wrists to steady me.

 _What's wrong?_ I wanted to ask her. _What's_ right _?_

"I just… I'm glad we're doing this. Glad _I'm_ doing this," I clarified, shaking my head. Her proximity still managed to throw my thoughts out of sorts. "I'm glad I decided to be a vampire. It wouldn't have worked out if I stayed human."

"Because of the Volturi?" Jane asked, eyebrows raised.

"Well, yes, that, but also because…" Here I paused, searching her eyes. "I would've gotten old. And…and you'd have stayed the same. I don't know…how that would work."

"I would never leave you, even if you grew wrinkles and...required the assistance of a cane," Jane said, a small smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

I knew she was trying to make light of these truths, and some part of me did really appreciate it, but at the same time I felt cold all over at the thought of me as a senior citizen – demanding more Jell-O and chocolate pudding, needing to wear an adult diaper, becoming wrinkled and grotesquely shriveled. Meanwhile, she'd still be the perfect inhuman specimen she'd been for the last three thousand years.

We never would've made it.

Of course, I believed Jane when she said she would never leave me. But she wasn't the problem. I wouldn't have let myself age like that if we were together. I'd have found some way to end it. One way or another.

"I won't need a cane now," I said, tilting my chin. "Besides, I could've just teleported myself anywhere I wanted to go as a human."

Jane grabbed the sides of my face – gently, still so gently – and pulled me down to kiss me. Her lips were cold, as cold as the weather outside, but they melted against mine, as if absorbing some of my heat.

"You taste like strawberry," she said softly, surprised.

I shrugged and looked down. "Found a tube of chapstick in the back pocket of some jeans. I figured…you know, why not?"

But there was a reason, even if it was only as simple as wanting to look nice for Jane's family. They were angry with me, I was sure, but Jane would force them to look past the last few months and see that I was willing now. _I_ had come to _them_ , and wasn't that what they wanted? To be sought out? To have control?

"This is it," Jane said finally, after her gaze swept over the room. A final inspection.

I nodded, also taking a moment to commit this space to memory. We'd invaded this cabin and made it our own for two weeks, and the memories we'd made here were unforgettable. Lying wrapped together in bed before dawn. Finding Juniper. Dozing by the fire as a cold snake wormed its way up my spine. Laughing over cooked deer meat at some joke Jane had accidentally made. Kissing Jane on the sofa until I was breathless, literally breathless to the point of fainting. Making The Choice to become a vampire and live with Jane forever.

Deciding to leave my humanity behind for good.

"This is it," I agreed, my eyes on Juniper. She was lounging on the window seat, her gaze swinging between me and Jane. She could tell something was happening. My heart hurt at the thought of leaving her.

"I could not live with myself if I did not ask you one final time," Jane said suddenly, and turned me to face her. Her hand slipped around my neck to cup the back of my head, and she brought our foreheads together with careful pressure.

"Bella," she whispered. "Bella, Bella, Bella." She spoke in a hushed voice and seemed to savor the syllables of my name like they were honeyed. And then, finally, "Isabella." Her grip tightened. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said without hesitating, and I think that's when I really started to believe it myself. What had I said before? _Now the only thing left to do is follow through._ "Yes," I repeated firmly. "Yes, I'm ready. I'm going to be a vampire."

I had to say it out loud to make it real. Better get used to the idea now, before someone's fangs were sunk deep into my neck. I pulled back from Jane and, after a brief moment of indecision, walked over to Juniper and scooped her up into my arms. I couldn't keep her – that truth was irrefutable. But I could bring her with us to Volterra and set her loose. I could take her away from here and give her a fighting chance. She was a survivor. If I had learned anything about this world, it was that you could only live if you decided to fight for it.

With Juniper tucked into the crook of one arm, I extended my free hand and took Jane's. I squeezed our palms together as hard as I could, knowing this was the very last time it wouldn't make a difference. Next time, as a newborn, I might break her instead.

"You're going to be a vampire," Jane repeated to herself, as if to make it real for her, too. "And eternity…" she said, pausing to smile brilliantly at me for the first time in weeks. "Eternity will be ours."

With her smile etched in my mind, I took a deep breath…

And we disappeared.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Again, we stood together before the front doors.

I hadn't seen much of Volterra itself, but the city was beautiful no matter where you were. As long as you were within its walls, Volterra shone with ancient beauty. It was a wonderful representation of Jane herself. Strong, marbled, and in a lot of ways, prehistoric. There were also lush green gardens, immaculately clean streets, tanned, smiling people, and most of all – enormous stone structures that stretched several stories tall and blended one into the next into the next, all throughout the city. Everything was old, but the type of old that had been very well preserved. It was obvious this city was taken care of, not just out of a sense of duty, but out of pure love and pride.

The Volturi fortress was another story.

It was beautiful, but not the nice, light kind. The structure, which was massive and seemingly unending, exuded a dark intimidation. It wasn't just tall; it was monstrous, and it _loomed_. Shadows covered all the corners and alleyways surrounding the fortress, and within those shadows was a cold so deep it was numbing.

Hand-in-hand with Jane, I gazed up (and up and up) at the ten-foot-high steel doors of the fortress which shielded the Volturi from the harsh rays of the Italian sun. I felt so small and unimportant the longer I stood there, but then Jane squeezed my hand and my chest expanded again, as if I'd been holding my breath.

"They know we're here," Jane said with a light tug on my hand.

"Who?" I asked, but wait, no - I only mouthed it. My nerves were getting the best of me.

Jane smiled reassuringly. "Alec. Marcus. Felix." She paused. "They've alerted the others. They'll be here soon."

I nodded. Aro would be here. Caius. His name sent a tingle down my spine, one I tried to hide, but of course, nothing got past Jane.

"It won't be Caius," she said, turning her body slightly towards me, as if to shield me. "We have reached a point where no one but Aro will turn you. He would not risk trusting anyone else with such a task."

"I've annoyed him that much?" I asked with a small smile. It did give me a little burst of pride, but it was short-lived. My gaze found the Volturi fortress again, as if magnetically drawn to it. The structure was just so _big_. So dominating. How did none of the other humans in the city pass by without cowering in fear?

Jane shrugged. "This is all a game to him," she said. "I do not believe anyone can cause him any real trouble. Aro is beyond that."

I didn't quite believe her, not all the way. Aro was old, sure, but he could still feel. His emotions might be convoluted, but they were still emotions. But I let it go.

"Shall we?" Jane gestured to the fortress doors.

I threw a glance down the narrow alley to our left. As soon as we'd appeared in Volterra, I'd crouched down, hugged Juniper tightly to my chest with my eyes just as tightly closed, and then released her. She'd watched me for a few seconds, but then, sensing no movement, she'd turned and trotted into the alley, her furry tail flicking back and forth curiously. If Juniper was smart – and she had to be to survive winter in northern Maine – she'd be long gone by now.

In answer, I took the first step, pulling Jane behind me. The fortress doors opened soundlessly at our approach.

I straightened my shoulders as we walked down the hall, my pulse thrumming in my neck and wrists like a captured butterfly. As I stumbled and Jane glided down the hallways of the Volturi fortress, a wild thought came to me: _Jane was right. It_ is _warmer here, but I still feel cold. Colder, in fact._

But that wasn't a surprise to me. The second I had made the decision to shed my humanity, life had started seeping from me like water from a leak.

 _Never mind that,_ I told myself impatiently. _Soon I'll be the same temperature as Jane. I won't feel cold. Or heat. I won't be affected by temperature at all, actually._

Finally, after two or three silent minutes, Jane came to a halt. Again, we stood before giant, looming doors at least a dozen feet high. They were carved with intricate symbols and words – hieroglyphs, maybe? There were swirls and slashes and lines crisscrossing lines. Within the wood were hints of white and black, but most of all, red. Red crosses, red birds, red, overlapping circles, and red waterfalls. I shuddered as my eyes came across the last symbol again and again.

"Here we are," I said softly, and placed my hand on the solid wood door.

Jane didn't say anything, but her eyes were on me. Making sure I was ready. Not for a moment did she try and force me. My heart swelled at her constant consideration. She always analyzed my feelings and how they might be affected now and in the future.

I inhaled deeply and pushed open the doors with a grunt. They swung open soundlessly…and we entered the room at the same time as the Volturi.

First came Demetri, followed by Caius, and then Chelsea, who remained equidistant to him and Aro, who entered last through the door opposite us. They were all dressed in sweeping black cloaks, the same as Jane's, with red symbols stitched along the hem. Unlike Jane's, Aro's cloak had a red star sewn near his collar.

Standing by the dais were Felix and Alec, who flanked Marcus in his throne-like chair.

I swallowed at the sight of them all in one place, and Aro, who'd been conversing quietly with Caius, turned his attention to me. He smiled broadly.

"Isabella!" he cried – half-hysterically, it sounded. Through my terror, I realized that this could be part of an act, but I was in no state to tell for sure. Jane _had_ said he was into theatrics, after all.

"Welcome!" Aro continued, undeterred by my lack of a reaction. Though I could feel Jane beside me, that's really all I _could_ feel. I was slowly going numb. "Welcome back to Volterra!"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"Thank you, Master," Jane said, her voice low. Her hand brushed mine, and I grasped it before she could pull away again.

Oh, no.

I'd forgotten about that. When I'd reached for her in Whittleston, Jane had turned from me rather than allow me to seek comfort from her. With all that had been going on in Seboeis, I had completely let that moment slip my mind. But now it was back in full force, and the seed of doubt I'd managed to uproot suddenly replanted itself in my mind.

Aro's eyes flicked over to Jane for the briefest second, and was it me, or did his eyes harden? They looked glacier-cold, unforgiving, merciless. But then whatever I saw in them disappeared, and he just looked moderately amused again.

"I cannot express how _glad_ I am that you have returned to us, Isabella," Aro said, turning his attention back to me. His eyes glowed fervently, and right then I did believe him. "You will truly be a _valuable asset_ to us, my dear. To think of all the time we have wasted without you by our sides!" He let out a ringing laugh, and Chelsea reflexively angled her body towards him, as if to absorb the emotion. Or amplify it?

I shook my head. At this point, who cared?

Out of the corner of my eye, I examined Jane's face. It was expressionless, verging on cold, but still polite. She was standing before her superior, after all. Her _master_. I tried to keep the grimace from my face, knowing Aro or someone worse would notice immediately. Despite her frigid demeanor, she was calm. I didn't sense any alarm or panic emanating from her. Because _I_ had decided to seek _them_ out, she believed we were safe now. This, more than anything, relaxed me. I trusted Jane and her beliefs implicitly. If she saw no danger, then we were truly safe.

I felt this in my bones somehow, as if I'd suddenly been stuck with a plug and now all the pressure and fear and uncertainty was spilling out. I took a slight step back, startled by this rush of feeling. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. It was Felix, and he looked amused. They'd all probably taken that step as an expression of my fear. But that was okay. It didn't matter what they thought.

I turned to Jane and smiled. Her stoic expression wavered for half a second, which only made me smile wider. She didn't know yet. But I did. Everything was going to work out. This was _fact_. I had no idea where this certainty had come from, but I knew it as if this day had already ended. _Maybe it's shock,_ I thought to myself. But no, this certainty felt more than that.

Maybe it was fate. 

"Here we are at last," Aro continued, opening his arms wide in a grand gesture. "I feel this question is redundant, but I must ask it anyway." He leaned forward, his fingers meeting at the tips, forming a temple. "Have you decided, then?"

I found my voice, and it was steady now. "Yes, we have."

 _We._ A declaration. _I'm not just a me. I am also a we._ And from now on it was us, always.

Stretching out my fingers, I reached for Jane. I did it unthinkingly, reflexively, as one would reach for an object just about to topple. Only a second passed, and then Jane's fingers twined with mine, our palms melding in a perfect fit. I understood with sudden clarity that her brief hesitation was only due to her surprise. My behavior now was such a one-eighty from only a few minutes ago; she hadn't expected me to react like this.

" _Wond_ erful!" Aro clapped his hands together, and I saw Chelsea flinch. I could sense Jane's pleasure at this. "Shall we get started, then?"

"Yes, we've wasted quite a bit of time already," Caius said dryly. "Please, do get on with it."

Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I heard Marcus laugh. Then again, it could've just been a cough. Both were equally unbelievable to me, but then, it didn't really matter much what Marcus thought. He was probably just impatient to get back to his blood-chocolate pudding.

This was it. Time to die.

Well, that sounded ominous. I was _technically_ dying, yeah, but not in the traditional sense. I'd come back again. In two or three days, I would be transformed. For better or worse, I'd be like Jane. And how could that be a bad thing? If I turned out anything like Jane…well, that'd be the best possible outcome.

Aro beckoned me with a long, white finger. "Come, Isabella. Allow me."

Just as Jane had thought, Aro would be the one to turn me. At this point, he probably didn't want to bother with any more shenanigans. _That's for the best,_ I thought.

I took a step forward, eager to get on with it. I wanted the hard part to be over. The painful part. But a light tug on my hand reminded me that I was the only confident one here. Jane drew me back to her, and we stood facing each other, so close I could see the amber flecks in her eyes. Her cold hands cupped my cheeks.

"Bella," she whispered, then seemed unable to utter anything else.

I smiled and leaned slightly forward so that our foreheads touched. "It's okay, Jane. I can do this."

Jane's eyes held mine, and the look was so intense it was almost like I could feel her probing around in my head, searching for any doubt, uncertainty, fear. It was there, at least I thought so, but very far away. It was there but irrelevant.

"I know you can," she murmured close to my ear. "But I…" She struggled for a moment. "I fear it will not be easy for me."

"Why not?" I frowned. "It won't hurt you, right? Like, the transition won't affect you or anything –"

"It will hurt to watch," she whispered, so low I had to strain to hear her, even though she spoke right into my ear.

Then I got it. "Oh." Amidst all my internal turmoil, I'd never considered how Jane might feel. She wouldn't be the one in pain – she was usually the one dishing it out – but I was the next best thing, I guess. She'd be helpless to do anything about it until I woke up. If there was one thing I knew about Jane, it was that she hated being helpless.

"It'll be okay," I repeated. Gently, I touched a finger to the hollow of her neck. It was smooth there, and soft like satin. "It'll be over before you know it."

"Shouldn't I be the one telling you that?" she asked with a small smile. Her eyes probed mine once more, then, with a sigh, she closed them.

We were silent for at least a full minute, our foreheads touching and Jane's hands lightly clasped around my neck. I placed my own hands on her chest. No heartbeat. That's what my chest would feel like to her once I woke up. I wondered if she would miss the steady _thump-thump-thump_ that told her I was human.

The other Volturi waited patiently. I was sure, for them, this was only a nanosecond of time. Nothing was being taken from them.

Finally, Jane opened her eyes and caressed my cheek. She smiled – brilliantly. My breath left me in a rush, and for a long moment, oxygen deserted me. I was frozen in the shine of her love, the love in every line of her smile. It was explosive. I'd never seen it so clearly before. My heart clenched, and I knew that if something happened to me between now and the moment I awoke as a vampire, this world would fall before her.

Her lips parted. " _Eternity will be ours_."

She only mouthed the words, but she might as well have shouted them from the rooftops. They rang in my head like enormous church bells, echoing endlessly. They rattled my bones, tangled my thoughts. I would have her forever. _Forever._

I took a step back, and another, and another, and Jane's hands finally fell to her sides. But her eyes never left me.

I approached Aro, ignoring Chelsea's unwavering glare and Caius's maliciously pleased expression. Movement from Alec caught my attention briefly; he shifted towards me, then seemed to think better of it when a soft warning growl came from behind me.

I reached Aro far faster than I would've liked. He extended his hand and gripped mine with only slight pressure. He drew me towards him, much the same way that Jane had just moments before, and spun me so I faced Jane and Demetri, who was guarding the doors. My heart pounded once, hard, before calm resettled over me.

Jane was breathtaking. We were separated by no more than thirty feet, but I'd seldom been so far from her. Usually we were attached at the hip – or shoulder, or hands – and my up-close view was usually filled with her eyes and teeth and hair. From the dais, she looked small. Small but fearsome. Obsidian black cloak with the red symbols along the hem, archaic-looking and indecipherable, eyes an equal measure of scarlet red and midnight black, skin like frost, like white velvet, like unfractured marble, features angelic, aristocratic, alien. She looked like a perfect imitation of a human, like what humans may one day become, sometime in the distant future. She was the ideal we strove for. Strong, fierce, beautiful, and merciless.

"It all comes down to this," Aro said, his hands on my shoulders. They were heavy, like boulders. "After months of shenanigans – and Jane, dear, you know I love games, but this one went on _far_ too long – Isabella is on the verge of the _ultimate_ transformation! Can you believe it?" he guffawed, laughing delightedly.

Jane's face twitched, and beside me, Alec shifted uncomfortably. I was surprised to see him showing any sign of weakness. His eyes flicked over to me, and when he noticed me staring, he quickly looked away. _Thanks for your vote of confidence,_ I thought, barely suppressing an eye roll.

"My friends, how long has it been since our last member?" Aro asked the room.

Caius tilted his head, but his eyes never strayed from Jane. "Decades, at least."

"Ah, yes, far too long!" Aro lamented, but then his grip tightened subtly, and he added, "And it has been nearly a century since someone with an ability caught our attention. I do wonder how you have evaded us for so long, Isabella."

"Well, it helps that Arizona is perpetually sunny," I said with a small smile. I nearly shrugged, then remembered that Aro's hands were on my shoulders like thousand-pound weights.

"Indeed. How inconvenient for us!" Aro's attention turned to Jane and now his voice was sharp. "I _must_ say, I'm disappointed in you, Jane," he admonished. "Do you realize what she can do for us? Her power surpasses that of _any_ human I have ever seen. Imagine what she will be capable of as a vampire!"

"Bella will be a force to be reckoned with, I am sure," Jane said softly, and I remembered her soft caress on my cheek. In just a few short days, she would no longer have to worry about breaking me.

At this pronouncement, I sensed very slight movement in the room from various corners. Chelsea had shifted her stance again, so that she was half turned towards Aro and Caius. There was an odd look on her face. At first I couldn't place it, but then, when her eyes flicked over and over again between Aro and the rest of the room, it hit me – she wasn't actually looking at Aro, she was looking at me, and she was worried. 

Alec had the same look on his face. I could barely see Marcus, though it didn't really matter because he still seemed vaguely uninterested in the whole ordeal. I couldn't see Caius at all; he was seated almost directly behind Aro. Demetri, by the doors, was stone-faced, but Felix, who had been invisible to me until he shifted his stance against the wall, seemed both nervous and furious. Did he consider me a threat? But even with my ability, I didn't see how I could do anything to him now. After all, there were seven of them, one of me, and Jane. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see we were outnumbered, if I dared to try anything. And I didn't.

"You've led me on a _merry_ chase," Aro said with a lilting laugh. He kept laughing like we were at a holiday cocktail party instead of in this austere, blood-soaked room. Not literally, of course, but even I could detect the faint stench of centuries-old blood.

For the first time since our arrival in Volterra, Jane's remote expression faltered completely. Instead, her calm was replaced by genuine fear. So much fear, I worried she was drowning in it. It confused me. Why was she scared? Surely she could tell things would soon be perfect.

"It's okay, Jane," I told her, a smile flowing effortlessly to my lips. "Everything's going to work out, you'll see. When we're together –"

Aro placed his cold, dead hands on my neck

and twisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **oh boy now the epilogue**
> 
> **"I'm not just a me, but I'm also a we." -quote from the Netflix show, _Sense8_ (s1ep2)**


	15. Epilogue: Centuries Ago

** Jane's POV **

** 368 Years Later **

The humans are on their way to slaughter the rest of us.

I am in the Lut Desert somewhere in northern Iran. Miles and miles from my homeland. The wild grasses around me are golden yellow and crisp orange, though not from the sunlight or the climate. They are burning. And the strange trees that ring the sand dunes are brown, their trunks cracking and splitting apart –they are burning too. Fire ravages everything, as far as the eye can see.

And I can see so very far.

Overhead, lightning lurks behind the heavy black clouds looming over the earth. It is six in the evening, and yet there's no way of distinguishing the time. It may as well be midnight or four in the morning. Time is nothing to me now. 

Day, night, sunny, rainy, hot or cold – they are things that happen, yes, but not to me. I do not feel them or acknowledge them. They exist alongside me, just as those collapsing trees and burning grasses exist somewhere on the peripheral.

Time is nothing to me.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes I forget how many years have passed.

Sometimes I will see a forest green jacket in a crowd. Sometimes I will catch the barest glimpse of a smile that curves in just the right way. I will pass a store and in the front window will be those coloring books. Sometimes I will see a brown-haired girl, the same chestnut shade, the same length, and before I know it, I am walking to her. But she inevitably turns, and I see her face, and my world crashes and burns and turns upside-down all at once. The face is what stops me in my tracks, but the voice…the voice is what gets me.

They always ask if I'm okay, if I am lost or in need of assistance. They might comment on the weather or on the endless metro renovations. They sometimes step closer to me, and it takes every ounce of self-control not to close the distance and rip their throats out. They are ugly to me. They are all ugly.

But then one day – months or years or decades later, I am not sure – one day during an episode where I struggle with myself not to kill her, the girl reacts first. She steps away and crosses her arms at the wrists, as if to shield herself from oncoming debris. Her voice, when she screams, is hoarse and ear-piercing. I decide to kill her then, but her next words strike me a vicious blow.

" _VAMPIRE!_ " she shrieks. " _SHE'S A VAMPIRE!_ "

And humanity descended on us.

To this day, I do not know how they found out. Maybe they abducted one of us, held him captive in a government facility on lockdown, refused to feed him, refused to listen except when they asked, "How many? How many more of you are there?" Then they listened, and they realized we were everywhere. "Dozens," he might have said, on the brink of madness and starvation. "Hundreds," as he crumbled. "Millions," with his last wasted breath.

We had infiltrated their society, their everyday lives. We had become their friends, neighbors, co-workers, even lovers. But only for a night. Only to get what we wanted. What we _needed_.

Vampires are strong. We are merciless and smart and fast. We can persuade others to do what we want. We _always_ get what we want. We lived in a world of instant gratification. But humans… They had something we didn't.

Humans had fear, and fear trumps everything. It is the ultimate motivation.

They killed us. First by the dozens, then by the hundreds, and increasingly by the thousands. It took nearly two centuries, but now it is down to a bare few. Here, in this burning field, with the ground on fire and the sky exploding, I am one of them.

And so is Aro.

The humans are coming to slaughter the rest of us, but I am not ready to go. Not yet. For I have one more hunt to finish. Eventually, I will allow the humans to kill me, and I will welcome it, but first…

First, Aro.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first to go was Chelsea.

I watched, the room gone silent, my focus narrowed down to a single point, as Bella fell limply to the floor, her head smacking the top step of the marble dais with a hollow thud. She lay there, unmoving, for a quarter second, and in that time I lived six trillion years without her. I lived and died, and I watched as everything else in the galaxy, in the universe, in existence, withered and died with me. In that quarter second, I lived six trillion years. A true eternity.

I looked at Chelsea and she looked at me.

For the first time in her immortal life, she knew fear.

I broke every bone in her body all at once. You do not know pain if you do not know the sound of marble shattering. I broke her body, and then I broke her mind. I threw pain into her like spilled ink in a jar of water. It started slowly, and then spread all at once, consuming, polluting, filling everything. I allowed her to scream, once, and then I stepped to her side and broke her spine with my bare hands.

I finished dismembering her body, and when I came back to myself, I realized there were two others still in the room. Felix and Demetri. They were curled on the floor in fetal positions, Felix by the side wall, beneath the ornate wall hangings, and Demetri by the solid mahogany doors. I knew in an eye blink what had happened. Chelsea had tried to rid herself of my pain by manipulating the emotions of the Guards and forcing them to feel what she did. They were crippled, but not dead.

Not yet.

The fire I left burning in the audience chamber smelled like burning flesh.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then the other Volturi.

The lesser Guards, the servants, the maids, and the chauffeurs. One by one they fell. Some were humans. Some were vampires. It didn't matter. One by one they fell. As they all would.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then Marcus.

He was old, and he was slower than the others, but I found him. Forty years it took me, but I found him.

People underestimate grief. How powerful it is, how relentless. It drove me forward, filled me with everlasting determination. I did not need sleep, but even if I did that would have been secondary to the grief. 

I was so anguished it surpassed all feeling. I was so anguished I was numb. If made tangible, my grief could have incinerated cities, imploded mountains and volcanos, torn apart the very foundation of the earth itself. My grief could have ripped the atmosphere to pieces and left everyone on this planet to asphyxiate, and only then would they have the barest notion of what I felt every second of every hour of every day.

Marcus was in Nordvik, a nearly nonexistent town at the tip of the Russian continent. The population was not quite one hundred people, and he took turns feeding on a different individual every night of the week. It was always dark there, so it was easy for him to survive, and the people were so weak-minded that he could persuade them without any effort.

He was slurping from the neck of a seventy-year-old woman when I ripped the wall from his house. Grown sluggish from the blood and years of gluttony, he did not react fast enough. Even in his prime, I doubted he could have stopped me. My grief, oh, my grief – _il distruttore di mondi_.

The destroyer of worlds.

I bent his head so far back it came halfway off. Then he swatted at me, so I ripped his arm from his shoulder. He shrieked, and he might have said something, but his words fell on deaf ears. I had learned to shut out unwelcome sounds. That included begging.

 _Now the only thing left to do is follow through._ Her words. My mantra.

I tore his head completely off his neck and threw it into the smoldering fireplace. Then I went about hacking off limbs until there was nothing left but a (mostly) intact torso. I threw that into the fireplace too and didn't stop the flames from devouring the bear rug. A worn leather sofa was next. The whole place would collapse soon.

On my way out the door, I stopped mid-step and turned, as if pulled by a forgotten force. It only took me a second to realize what it was.

The woman on the floor was mumbling incoherently, her voice like the echo of a dirge, so I stepped on her face and caved in her skull.

If _l'amore della mia vita_ could not be alive, no one else deserved to live, either.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then Caius.

If I was smart, _L'uomo Sinistro_ was brilliant. He knew that hiding in a cold, isolated place would ensure his discovery much quicker than if he hid in a climate that was foreign to his nature – hot, dry, and sunny. 

But see, I knew his mind – my grief, at times, gave way to rage, and this rage gave me a clear view of the world. I bypassed all the standard cold regions – Russia, Antarctica, Greenland – for sweltering-hot places like South America, Australia, and the South African continent. Still, even knowing what I did, I struggled. It took me the better part of a century to locate him in the Fiji Islands. But locate him I did.

He was bathing in a hot spring when I finally came upon him. I did not hesitate. I incapacitated him with pain, and as he flailed underwater, I leaped in after him and flung him out. He hit the trunk of a massive palm tree, uprooting it. The tree fell with a thunderclap, and birds and other small animals exploded from the underbrush in a panic. I made Caius feel as if a million red-hot razors were flaying open his skin, and his screams rang for miles in every direction.

But I was not pleased. I was not satisfied.

I grabbed Caius by his golden hair and dragged him into a nearby hut. He thrashed, and his considerable strength, even in this state, made it difficult for me to bound him to a crude chair I'd hastily constructed out of steel. Faintly annoyed by the noise, I grabbed handfuls of his precious hair and ripped it from his head, knowing that it couldn't possibly hurt as much as my powers but still desiring the physical action.

Caius would not beg. I knew this, so I did not set myself up for disappointment. I meant to end it quick, just as I had with Chelsea and Marcus. I did not do this out of pity. I did it because I had other things which demanded my attention. My _famiglia finta_ were not important enough to dally over. Although the one resource I had was unlimited time, I did not want to taint myself with their presence any longer than I had to. Being near them reminded me of _her_ , and that hurt worst of all.

But then Caius looked me right in the eye and hissed, "Torturing me will not bring her back, _diavolessa_."

And for that, I made it last decades.

Didn't you know? A vampire has no tears, and therefore he suffers so much more.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then Alec.

He was in Japan. From the moment I'd consciously decided to go after the Volturi, I knew where my twin had decided to disappear. He'd been dreaming of the cherry blossom festivals and ancient architectural wonders for decades. Nothing had ever stopped him from visiting the country, and yet he had never made the decision to go, which I had always found odd.

But when I saw him in the grand city of Kyoto, in the middle of the Kyoto Prefecture at the tail end of Japan, I suddenly understood. He hadn't wanted to visit for fear of loving it too much. Visiting the country meant he would have to leave it at some point, and after seeing the sights and listening to the language and immersing himself in the culture, I knew there was no way he could have torn himself away to return to the dark halls of the Volterra fortress. The contentment on his face told me as much.

I watched him for a minute more, then decided enough was enough. You see, I didn't save him for next-to-last because he was family. I didn't push off his demise out of some sense of kinship. No, I wanted him to know I was coming.

I wanted him to fear me.

Sure enough, beneath the contentment I saw on the surface, there were lines of anxiety in Alec's face and a haunted look to his eyes that hadn't been there a century and a half ago. It was partly cloudy, so there was a slight glimmer to his skin that set him apart from the rest of the scenery. He seemed ethereal. Fleeting. The opposite of what he truly was.

"You've come at last," he whispered on a sigh.

I took a step forward and was at his side in half a heartbeat, closing the quarter-mile distance between us. Up close, he looked even more haggard. Or as close as a vampire could be.

"How long have you known?" I asked him, because I was curious. It was a small feeling, insignificant and easily ignored, but I decided to humor it. He was my twin, after all.

Alec snorted delicately, aware of the fragileness of this moment. "The instant she fell," he said softly, not looking at me. "I was watching you. I saw it in your eyes." He paused and watched a truck idle past on the far road. Leaves swirled up in its wake. "I saw our end."

Something else had been swimming in the dark recesses of my mind, a curiosity that would not be settled until I had an answer. So I gave voice to it.

"Did Aro say anything? After."

Alec nodded. "He laughed, but it was a trite nervous. He recognized almost immediately that he had miscalculated. That he had made a mistake. Honestly, I think Aro knew it was a bad idea before he ever touched her. But then…" He paused and touched a finger to his temple, as if to ward off the start of a very bad headache. "Your entire being changed. It was like a switch had been flipped. We all saw it."

I didn't say anything. What was there to say?

"I could tell there was something up his sleeve," Alec continued. "Just by his behavior. He had more in store for her than the transformation. But I never could have guessed…" He trailed off, and in his voice I could hear regret, remorse, even guilt.

Ah. That was neither here nor there, really. I could do nothing with his emotions.

"What happened?" he asked softly, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. "Were you really not aware of all this?"

A good question.

"I went somewhere else," I said shortly. Somewhere I did not have to see her falling. 

"You really loved her." Not a question.

" _L'amore della mia vita_." The love of my life.

Alec seemed to accept this, for he didn't ask any more questions. His eyes were on the cloudless blue sky.

"Make it quick, will you, Jane?" His voice quavered very slightly at the end, so slightly that, had I been human, it would have gone undetected.

So for his fear, for his regret, his remorse, his guilt… For his humanity, I made it quick.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The core Volturi had fled by the time I left the audience chamber in the Volterra fortress. Marcus, Caius, Alec, Aro. They had all left during my rampage. Lucky them. Had they stayed, it would have been mass slaughter. More so than the blood of the servants and Guards already painting the walls.

My body was tingling, alight with fire and adrenaline and rage and pain. So _much_ pain. I finally knew what I had been missing out on all these years. I was drowning in it.

But first, there was something I must do.

Winchester, England. A cold but beautiful town at the northernmost point of the country. I brought her body to the field where I was born. Where a mud-covered hut had stood, littered with leaves and sticks. A hut that housed a mother, a fleeting father, and two twin babies. A hut that had collapsed millennia ago. Now there was nothing but a field. Acres and acres of field, surrounded by trees, and beyond those, industrialized life.

I buried her amidst frost-covered wildflowers, between frozen earth and rocks like hunks of steel. The ground was hard and unforgiving, but I cleaved through it like butter. The hole I made stretched a dozen feet in every direction. I lay her down on the earth itself, like they'd done during my time – no coffin, no ceremony. She would become part of this world again. Someday.

I buried her where, three thousand years ago in early September when the flowers had just begun to wilt, my mother had borne me.

That was the only time I allowed myself to lose control. After she was ten feet under. After I inhaled her scent for the last time. After I stroked a finger down her cheek and kissed her cold, marble lips. They were hard, like mine, but the difference between us now spanned worlds. 

After I filled the hole in, I stepped back, kneeled on the packed earth, and released a scream that pierced the silence like a knife. I howled until I thought my eyes would bleed. I howled until the sky itself shook. I howled until the wolves howled back.

My body trembling, I placed a hand on the earth directly above her heart.

_Ti amo._

_Kimi o ai shiteru._

_Je t'aime._

_Ich liebe dich._

_Ya vas lyublyu._

_Vos amo._

_And, at last, I love you._

Forever and ever and ever, until the sun dies and the stars fall.

And beyond.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But now.

Now it is Aro and I. Just the two of us. The last of the Volturi.

And the humans, of course. Humans everywhere. Hundreds of them. Swarming like ants, like mosquitoes, like parasites. The humans, after all this time, are gaining on us.

They have isolated us in regions of the world that are harmful to our very nature. Sunlit wastelands. Scorching deserts barren of people. They took away our food source. They forced us to these remote locations so that we would be easier to hunt.

We have been starving for a long, long time.

The Lut Desert is one of the hottest places on earth. Often the temperature will rise well beyond one hundred-twenty degrees Fahrenheit. Of course, I am not affected by the temperature, but the sun… The sun is killing me. Killing _us_.

Aro is only a mile ahead of me now, and I can tell from this distance that he is flagging. His gait is slower by three-tenths of a second, and he has been stumbling on and off for miles. Somehow, he has maintained this distance for the last forty days. But I am not deterred. I am relentless.

First it was Spain. It was smart of him, staying close to home. Clever boy. Italy's neighboring countries were some of the last places I checked. But of course I found him. Nearly four centuries after his crime, but time is the one resource I have always been able to depend on. 

I did not approach him right away. So it was that he went to Somalia, and I followed. Then India, and Saudi Arabia, and Libya, then briefly to the Netherlands, and Peru, and Brazil, and then finally, finally, finally, Iran.

With a final surge of strength, I lunge towards Aro. This brings me a mere ten feet in front of him, but it is enough. Blocking his path, I wait for him to realize that I am here now, that it is over. Seconds pass, and it is only when I scuff my foot in the sand that Aro looks up at me. My presence registers in his eyes, but it is six seconds too late.

"Time has done quite a number on you, Aro," I say tonelessly.

He smiles, but it is cracked, broken. Defeated.

"Ah, Jane, dear," he says, swaying. The amber in his eyes has become a full-blown scarlet – the brightest red I have ever seen in vampiric eyes. He's mad with thirst. "Has it come to this, then? Has my time come at last?"

I don't say anything.

"Have these years taught you nothing of revenge? Surely you realize it is a fruitless endeavor." And then, echoing Caius, "It will not bring her back, you know. None of this will. The lives you have taken, the deaths you have brought about… Nothing changes. She is still dead, Jane."

I don't say anything.

Desperate now, Aro snaps, "So you hold this girl, this fragile human, above the rest of us, eh? She meant more to you than your family? Than your _masters_ , than your _twin_? You would kill us in her name? Are your allegiances really so shallow?"

I don't say anything, and Aro deflates.

"There is no changing her mind, then," he says, as if to himself. "It has been three hundred years, and if she was going to stop, she would have done so by now. It is too late."

And then I speak.

" _Why_."

Aro's eyes pierce mine. He knows what I am asking. I wait, and wait, and wait, and all the while the hordes of humans gain on us. They come in trucks, in tanks, on foot. They come with torches, and guns, and all manner of sharp objects. They come with screams, with curses, with chants. They come smelling of fear and anger. They come to even the score.

They come for revenge.

I place a hand on Aro's shoulder, appearing before him so quickly that there is no measure of time accurate enough to describe how I go from there to here, and I shove him to his knees. The effort it takes would have brought the Aro of a millennia ago unending horror and humiliation. Now he is like a twig on the verge of snapping. His skin is sallow, yellow, and sagging. He is an unburied corpse.

Still, I wait.

Finally, with insane scarlet eyes worlds away, Aro lifts his head and speaks.

"I killed her because you loved her. I killed her because it was clear to us all that she meant more to you than anything else ever would."

He killed my Bella because I dared to love her.

So I rip his arms from his shoulders and break his right leg off at the knee. He moans, but it is more from discomfort than any actual pain. So I squeeze him with my mind. I pile pain on him like an avalanche. I _fill_ him with pain. I empty myself and give it all to him. The pain beats him with sticks, slices him with knives and razors, shoots him in the stomach and the head and the chest, bends his bones, distorts his thoughts, and makes every breath a living nightmare.

I give him the one true fear.

Time.

In those precious few minutes before the humans arrive, I make Aro live centuries more. Lifetimes. Millenia. I make him live millions and billions of years. I make him live trillions. No, longer. Quintillions. Septillions. So much time there is neither a beginning nor an end. There is only now and now and now and now.

Aro screams. He screams and begs and pleads. His sobs are dry and tearless. He screams for it to end, he screams from madness, from loneliness. He screams from fear. The humans converge, but still he screams. 

But it is not enough. Never enough. More and more and more time. I pile it on as I pile on pain. The pain makes him lose sense of time, and that gives me the ability to bend it to my will.

Isabella Swan was but a blip. A blip amidst infinite moments. A blip amidst eternity. But she is the only eternity I wanted, the only moment that made me feel safe and loved and not alone. I had that love taken from me. Without her, nothing else matters. _Nothing._ Not power, not riches, not happiness. For what could matter more than love?

Aro doesn't understand, but I do not require his comprehension. Only his suffering. That is the only thing left. 

Don't you know? Centuries ago, my life ended. The intervening years have just been a slow, torturous decline to insanity. To death. 

What is punishment? I could not have given a straight answer four hundred years ago. But now, I have too many. 

Punishment is spending eternity alone. Punishment is loving someone with all your heart, loving them so much you give them all of you, and then watching helplessly as they're ripped away without warning. Punishment is tasting happiness, only to realize that despite all efforts, it will always be just out of reach.

Punishment is living.

 _Isabella,_ I think as the crowd of flesh approaches. _I am coming._

_Isabella._

_Isa-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Before ya'll KILL ME, let me just say - as I mentioned briefly at the beginning of this fic - that this was always how the story would end. I thought about writing this a month or two before I got down to it. The very first scene that came to me was Aro killing Bella, and the second scene that popped into my head was how Jane would handle her death and the Volturi's betrayal (i.e. not well!!).**
> 
> **I knew before I ever wrote one word of this fic that Bella would die, so this was never a spur-of-the-moment decision, hence the tags I included from day one.**
> 
> **Thank you for reading, and I hope this story made you feel some kind of way (good, bad, angry to the point of spontaneous combusion - whatever). Until next time~**
> 
> \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> **  
>  KEY   
>  **
> 
> _Il distruttore di mondi_ = the destroyer of worlds
> 
>  _L'amore della mia vita_ = the love of my life
> 
>  _L'uomo Sinistro_ = The Sinister Man
> 
>  _Famiglia finta_ = fake family
> 
>  _Diavolessa_ = she-devil
> 
> **I LOVE YOU Translations:**
> 
> _Ti amo_ = Italian
> 
>  _Kimi o ai shiteru_ = Japanese
> 
>  _Je t'aime_ = French
> 
>  _Ich liebe dich_ = German
> 
>  _Ya vas lyublyu_ = Russian
> 
>  _Vos amo_ = Latin
> 
> \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> The line _A vampire has no tears, and therefore he suffers so much more_ is a variation of the quote from Hans Christian Andersen's "The Little Mermaid" – _A mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more._


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